To think that very few people really care about others mental health?

[Whitehorseinthehill]

I keep seeing things on social media about Mental Health awareness. Also people always say that you should talk to someone, speak out.

We get a lot of emails circulating at work about mental health.

My experience is that in reality it is not only extremely difficult to get any type of meaningful medical care, but people don't actually want to hear about it.

When most people ask how you are, they don't really want the truth if it's not good.

What boils my piss is the silly twats posting messages of support are usually the cuntiest! Lady c (cunt) posting beautiful messages and memes in support of mental health etc I'm always here to talk and all that soppy bollocks, when in fact lady c slyly mocks a relative constantly because the suffer with a mental disorder etc quite nasty saying I wonder if crazy relative has forgotten to take her medication today etc. People can be so fake

Yep I see it all over social media but when I took an overdose I panicked and messaged a girl from work as we’d previously been talking about stuff like that and I wasn’t thinking straight and she basically just said ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine’ the next overdose I didn’t tell anyone.

My friend rang me when he’d overdosed and I spent the night in hospital wth him, I was shattered and felt like absolute shit but I would do it for anyone.

I’d never trust telling anyone again myself though!

But @Rainbow, you are not actually expecting to unburden yourself about your problems to a succession of total strangers as you hand over their change, surely...? That’s not an occasion on which any meaningful interaction can take place.

There is a limit to how much support a friend can or should be expected to give. Untrained support doesn't cure MH problems. Pretty much everyone has more than one set of demands on their time - if you have young DC and/or adults in need of additional care, plus a job you have to hold on to in order to keep your dependents fed, you can't drop everything to listen to someone talking about their MH day after day.

The whole 'reach out and talk to someone' concept is very flawed for many reasons. One being that it is the usual thing of expecting 'the community' to do stuff that should be done by trained, paid professionals. Also, even those with good intentions but no professional knowledge can make a sick person worse but giving shitty advice. And finally, some people with self-diagnosed 'depression or anxiety' , who refuse to seek professional help but prefer to whine on social media, would be much better served with a swift kick in the twinkle than by being indulged indefinitely.

I see your point and there's still a long way to go in terms of MH awareness in general. I see many posts from people sharing memes and being so sad about high profile people taking their own lives etc Then the reality, that I've seen first hand on here- someone will post asking whether they would be U for taking a MH day. The gloves come off, person is called a snowflake, get to work etc etc. Why aren't people resilient anymore, it's because people are too precious nowadays, blah blah. I often wonder if those posters ever consider themselves perpetuating the stigma of MH and suspect many of them would probably be the ones posting the memes and 'so sad, taken too soon' without a second thought. However there are exceptions and not everyone gets it right or knows what to say just yet but many more people are trying compared to a just a few years back.

Mental Health Professionals are not in my experience anymore "magical" or "special" than any other fucker.

Also in case you hadn't noticed, secondary services are on the bones of their arse with cuts, and only exist for the most extreme cases

No one is asking anyone to suddenly open their home or their life on a permanent basis to any waif or stray

What people are saying is that it would be nice if people thought more of their friends and loved ones than trying to convince themselves erroneously that sharing some shit Facebook meme that took them all of two seconds demonstrates they give a shit.

To be honest though what can people really do ?

Also the problem is that we are all trying to live our lives. When shit goes wrong do we really want to say ‘but maybe their mental health is not good?’ It would be nice if we could say that, but when you’re trying to fill a rota at work and you can’t because someone just can’t commit because they don’t know how they’ll feel 6 weeks from now, it’s hard to be the super sympathetic amazing boss you could be because you know you will have to pick up the slack, meaning you’ll miss family events and get shit off loved ones for it, therefore impacting your own mental health, all in the name of being understanding. It’s really hard when it comes to those type of jobs and workplaces where you just need the people in the building doing the work, and nothing else matters

*Mental Health Professionals are not in my experience anymore "magical" or "special" than any other fucker.

Also in case you hadn't noticed, secondary services are on the bones of their arse with cuts, and only exist for the most extreme cases

No one is asking anyone to suddenly open their home or their life on a permanent basis to any waif or stray

What people are saying is that it would be nice if people thought more of their friends and loved ones than trying to convince themselves erroneously that sharing some shit Facebook meme that took them all of two seconds demonstrates they give a shit.*

This is it exactly.

What can people do?

They can hold someone's hand

They can make them a brew

They can say "I don't know what to say but I love you"

Showing basic compassion for people you love should hardly be an enigma shrouded in mystery.

Totally.
A girl I know who has contributed massively to my mental health problems by gaslighting & lying took part in a charity suicide event!

Lip service, self PR.....it’s unreal.

I have an extremely understanding GP & psychiatrist. I am heavily medicated.
I have a degree from a Russell Group uni, career at same .... but a series of traumas over several years seen me crash. I don’t believe I’ll ever be as functional as I once was.

I talk openly to my husband but that’s it. And even then there’s not much he can do.

It’s an inside job for myself & I just can’t seem to soothe it.

@greybird84 does this person know how she made you feel ? You’re saying she has caused enough trauma to damage your mental health so much you need medication etc, have you not tried to seek justice ?

@ValleyClouds it’s all very well and good saying you can hold someone’s hand, would you actually just walk up to someone who said ‘I am feeling anxious’ and hold their hand ? Because that’s just ... weird

Apologies it’s not all down to her - I’ve had cancer, a baby who almost died, a son with severe autism learning disabilities etc....

But she knocked my confidence by wendying me so I was low already when the above life problems occurred....plus more traumas than mentioned above.

Hardly, if I didn't know them, what a shite way to pick a hole in what I said

In that instance :

"What can I do to help?"

There’s no one fit all solution

We ate more digitally connected than ever but so disconnected in real life.

A bit of kindness & assuming positive intent goes a long long way

Oh ok.. it just seemed like If one person could cause all that, then they should probably be dealt with ? Tbh friend ship type things are difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s for the best. I have accidentally ghosted someone because I thought it was inappropriate to pursue to friendship, turned out this person thought I was horrible and had dropped her for no reason. We talked, everything was ok.

I think your 100% right.

My partner suffers and if someone asks how he is, after afew minutes, you see their eyes glaze over.

Noone gives a shit !!!

@ValleyClouds ok, DEFENSIVE but yes then what do people say ?’sort my housing situation out with the council ?’ ‘pick my kids up from school every day indefinitely’? Because these have been said to me by friends who have mental health issues and I’m sorry I’m not committing to that, it’s not my job? If you want to chat over a coffee once a week In between uni and my three jobs that’s great but I can’t literally run your life for you

I don't agree. I think most people care. It's just most people then feel out of their depth and don't know what to do or what to say next. It doesn't mean they don't care though.

I have MH issues so YES I am very DEFENSIVE when it comes to arseholery on MN about this

I assure you no-one with MH issues wants you to run their life for them

You may think they need someone to but that is your judgement

Ok. You clearly know my friends very well.

Showing some compassion for someone with mental health issues within the limits of ability and falling for cheeky fuckery are two very different things that aren't automatically the same.

It's clear that what I've said strikes a raw nerve, that doesn't make what I have to say incorrect stop digging at me for the sake of it

Ok then. Tetchy

Compassion to you clearly seems to mean take everything you said as absolutely right and never question it