To ask what things you'd do, if you weren't worried about being judged...

[stilltiredinthemorning]

I worry way too much about what other people (often strangers) think of me...

I am trying to work on this, but I think in reality it's probably a pretty fundamental part of my personality that I am unlikely to change.

There are probably quite a few things I would do/not do (mainly related to my children) if it wasn't for fear of being judged.

My top 3 are:

• Let my eldest (nearly 4) watch telly on a tablet in restaurants once she's finished her food, so I can enjoy mine.
• Potty trained later.
• Drive my daughter the 15 minute walk home from pre-school (to avoid the 25 million mini tantrums that mean it takes us at least 30 minutes)

What are yours?

I'm not sure I give a stuff what other people think of my actions anymore. This may be an age thing, I'm fast approaching 52. It might be because I've been dealt a whole pile of shit in the last couple of years, meaning I doubt my friends would judge me or question anything I chose to do at the moment. It might be because I'm not particularly judgemental of people myself.

I certainly don't judge how people bring up their children. It's sod all to do with me. I don't walk in their shoes.

If it makes you happy or makes your life easier, then go for it. Don't regret what you do. It makes you, you. You could regret what you don't do though...

I'm getting philosophical. I have clearly had too much wine and need to go to bed.

Tell a few more people (notably work colleagues and my mum) about my Asperger's diagnosis, so they might understand a bit better why some days I'm considerably less of a functional human being than others.

I'd also put DS2 in childcare for at least half of one of my non-working days a week. Though that would require improved finances as well as a lack of judgement.

Go outside not wearing makeup, wear comfortable clothes without caring what I look like, not constantly feel uncomfortable in my own skin, sitting up straight, hiding my stomach rolls, lifting my (double) chin up etc

I’d never wear a bra

I would suck my thumb and twiddle my comfort ribbon with abandon in public.

I'm another in her 50s who does what she likes out of not giving a shit about anyone's judgment except my own.

And no, I hurt no-one, cos of my own judgment - to those who've been banging on about hurting other people

It must be hard for people like, for random example, Tories, to imagine a world where people have complete free will yet choose NOT to harm another. Surely for the rest of us it is easy?

I gave my son regular mental health days off despite the judgment of Mumsnet.

Oooh, and to really show how I don't care for the judgment of Mumsnet......... my son is at a Russell Group university. :-D

I’d shush people. All people. Especially kids and people talking loudly on phones. I hate noise.

I would tell my best friend that I’m in love with him.

@MyNewBearTotoro just throw joggers and a sweatshirt over your jammies. That's what I do! 😁

I was bullied as a teenager for my acne.
Apart from the occasional pimple my skin looks quite good now but I am scared to go out without makeup as I don’t want to look like I didn’t make an effort. It took me a lot of courage to recently started wearing just a bit of concealer instead of a full face of foundation but I still wear visible eyeshadow at all times because of this.

I wish I wasn't ashamed for people to see my house, because I know I'm not as much as a clean freak as people expect other people to be. And I wish I worried about this less.

And there's someone I'd like to have sex with, and it's not the person I'm married to. And I think about it a lot. Probably fortunately, it's not reciprocated.

I don't care what people think about me these days. I am a bit of an oldie,and still drive, safely. But the other day,I was stopped at a small roundabout,to let people from the right come round first, and a bloke behind me almost rammed into me from behind,and gave me a shock.So I was very annoyed, so stopped my car,got out,and went to his car window to complain about his bad driving. He had music blaring in his car,and could see a mobile phone in his hand. But anyway.for once this young guy apologised for his lack of concentration., and so I didn't have to punch him in the face .as I would have done,if he had wrecked my little car.

I'd have left my eldest home alone from an early age. I knew she was competent and safe and ready for it. Our society thinks otherwise, and I feared the involvement of social services if anyone found out.

Likewise, I would have let her roam much farther on her own in our neighbourhood. I did let her go short distances by herself, and she kept getting questioned by well-meaning adults who didn't believe her when she said mummy DID know she was walking alone to her uncle's house and had given permission.

I would approach men I fancied the look of and offer them sex. Of course this would also require a world where it was safe to do so, and said men could be trusted not to hurt me. But I have never made the first move and I am SO CURIOUS what it would be like to go round like blokes do coming on to people.

Use a scooter.
Install (and use) a basketball hoop.
Finally use a shopping trolley for heavy foot shops (that’s to do with my own inner judgment of self).
Feel ok eating on own at restaurant if the mood took me.
Feel ok having a drink in pub on own if I wanted to.
It’s crazy isn’t it !

Continue to dress goth like i was aged16 to 19.

Go bra less.

Wear headphones at work

Id be sacked.. more than judged.. but i wish i could tell some of these customers what i really think of them abd their requests.

Not work and stay at home though my kids are old enough. We can afford it, i hate what i do..but im doing to be a role model and be independent. If anything i feel less independent withwork, more like a slave for undeserving ungrateful wankers.

I'm another 50s women who doesn't give a shit.

I am a kind person, my choices hurt no one.

OP you need a re think. You need to care less what others think although in reality most people don't actually notice your existence, you are way over thinking this.
Take note of where this "judgement" is coming from- is it actually your own inner critic?

If it was legal id def smoke weed.

I’d buy what we used to call a leisure suit in the 80s. Like a tracksuit but made of velour!

I’d go to my local children’s play park and have a go on the swings and climbing things.

Smoke.
That's all really.
52 now and no interesrt in being liked based on other peoples inner jury. I habe developed a blank look that I use when people are pushing for what they want me to do for them, to get me to agree roll over minimise or whatever. I just shut my face down and they stop trying to get their way.

My old habit of people pleasing has been erased. I didnt want Nyone to think I was unpleasant or lazy. The only good version of me that was allowed to live was smiley, bouncy, compliant good girl Lola. Disinterest, unhelpful, blank Lola never got a chance.
Until now and my life is less of a struggle. I don't wear myself out being nice to people I dont give a fuck about.

Op do all those things! You deserve to finish your meal especially!

I would wear more dramatic eye make up but only when I felt like it. The randomness of how I feel one day to the next is what stops me, it would be offputting for colleagues that sometimes I wore zero makeup and sometimes went goth! Same for bras. Some days I don't want one and some days I want a nork boosting bazunga holster!

I'd also sing and talk to myself in public. Sometimes I do actually but not nearly enough..

@doxxed maybe I will!