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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Biscuits - WIBU?

190 replies

Notmytelescope · 09/11/2019 18:25

So for starters I accept this is a ridiculous, petty thing but I’d appreciate some outside perspective.

The backstory: On Thursday DH went shopping and bought a packet of biscuits ( nice ones with stem ginger in - the kind that come in a box...).

Friday AM before I went to work there was almost the whole packet left. DH was at home all day.

Saturday AM, I fancied a biscuit with my coffee and they were all gone. I called him a greedy piggy.

Sat PM I rumaged in the freezer for some cookie dough I had stashed away and there was enough for 6 small ‘biscuit muffins’. Come tea time I shared these with the DCs. I said DH couldn’t have one as he’d eaten all the biscuits yesterday. (DH has a habit of always eating anything if is opened)

He is now sulking and not talking to me. I think he is being ridculous and I am pissed off with him for his over reaction. Or am I being harsh?

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
BercowsPoliticalPumpkin · 09/11/2019 22:05

What the hell is a biscuit muffin? I'm impressed you have cookie dough in the freezer though.

Threads like these make me glad I'm single. And that might be because I would t have given him one of my biscuit muffins either.

You need a biscuit stash Wink

BeanTownNancy · 10/11/2019 00:36

It's not about biscuits though, is it? It's about him not giving a thought to other people (either when buying or when eating the treat), but expecting you to.

For what it's worth, in our house any treats "belong to" the person who bought them, unless they clearly communicate that they are for sharing or bought for the other person, of course. I would not expect my husband to share biscuits that he bought, but if he hadn't shared and I had biscuits the next day, I would feel completely justified in saying "no, I don't want to share because you didn't share yours." Not that it's something which has ever come up, but in theory...

Woe betide him if he ate one of my treats without asking me though... That would breach our accepted rules and then the whole relationship might collapse... I need my chocolate...

Florrieboo · 10/11/2019 04:08

No wonder there are so many eating disorders, the way people talk about food (in some of these posts) is just crazy. I couldn't imagine calling an adult a greedy piggy and making such a bloody big deal of it all in front of children especially. Food as a weapon seems to be how this is playing out. Not healthy.

sam221 · 10/11/2019 05:07

From my point of view, ginger biscuits...? Nope never!!!
Seriously though don't bring children into adult arguments and chillout a little. Buy more biscuits in general as they sound very important you, also adults can police their consumption of 'treats'.

Whattodoabout · 10/11/2019 06:14

YABU as others have said, he isn’t a child.

OoohRhubarbLetsGo · 10/11/2019 08:03

He was being inconsiderate to eat all the biscuits. I think it’s reasonable to be cross about someone else’s selfishness. If he wanted a treat all to himself that’d be fair enough as long as everyone had something.

Calling him a greedy pig was unkind and unnecessary.

I’d have used the fair share argument about the cookies- he had more than his fair share the day before , so you and the children were having your shares now.

Cheesestrings123 · 10/11/2019 08:20

Posters are missing the point. If the OP just buys more packets, then he will eat them all too. It's about lack of self control. Is the household just supposed to spend a tenner on biscuits every week just so that she doesn't "treat him like a child"? Most of you clearly don't live with someone like this, it's exhausting trying to find a balance between budgeting the food shop and providing luxuries/snacks for your family, only for one person to consume them all

blahblahblahblahhh · 10/11/2019 08:23

Perhaps the conversation should go "I'd really like it if you could save some biscuits for me please" rather than "you can't have any because you're a naughty child"

blahblahblahblahhh · 10/11/2019 08:24

Also perhaps some education for all of you that eating that many biscuits really isn't good for you.

Cheesestrings123 · 10/11/2019 08:33

@OnTheFenceWithMostViews Then you're enabling his journey to diabetes and obesity. Eating a whole packet of biscuits regularly is ridiculously unhealthy . There is almost 2000 calories in a single packet of Mcvities Chocolate Digestives and 110% of your daily sugar allowance, and they're not even the worst available

mclover · 10/11/2019 08:33

I'm with you - I don't buy anything nice cos my husband eats it! Food is for sharing and enjoying together, not one of you scoffing it all leaving nothing for others.

CAG12 · 10/11/2019 08:48

HE bought the biscuits and HE ate them all. Thats really as far as this issue should got. If the OP wanted some, she should have bought some.

Holding a 24hr grudge, then making some cookies, then witholding them from DH and calling him names is really vindictive.

dontcallmeduck · 10/11/2019 08:53

I regularly eat all the biscuits when I’m working from home. DH does the shopping so he either doesn’t buy any, buys plenty anticipated my boredom eating or buys ones he knows I don’t like. He never shames me for it or denies me other things.
YWBU

SandAndSeals · 10/11/2019 08:57

SHE made the biscuits and SHE ate them all (with the help of DC). If the DH wanted some, he should have made some.

Sulking and not talking to OP, after already eating an entire pack himself, is really vindictive.

diddl · 10/11/2019 08:57

"If the OP wanted some, she should have bought some."

That seems really odd to be.

A packet of biscuits (unless there are two in it!) is surely to share?

Who buys a whole packet of biscuits for themselves, let alone eats them in a day?

chocolatemademefat · 10/11/2019 09:03

Greedy piggy? What are you - five?

OlaEliza · 10/11/2019 09:03

All this talk of fair shares and portions, does anyone else have visions of families sitting around the table counting out m&m's and crisps Hmm

Chloe84 · 10/11/2019 09:04

I get it too OP.

My husband is far from perfect but one thing he would never do is finish all the biscuits, ice cream, raspberries, leftovers etc. He will always ask do you want some of this. And if he ever does finish something, he will offer to go to the shops to get more.

Classic MN, where people are puting the wifework on to YOU to go get two packets of biscuits and hide one pack, so making you solve the problem.

queenMab99 · 10/11/2019 09:05

Those stem ginger biscuit boxes only have about 9 biscuits in.
I live on my own and regularly have to tell myself that I am a pig for eating all the biscuits, then I refuse to speak to myself, and storm out to buy more biscuits................should I move out?

Chloe84 · 10/11/2019 09:07

Add message | Report | Message poster CAG12 Sun 10-Nov-19 08:48:12
HE bought the biscuits and HE ate them all. Thats really as far as this issue should got. If the OP wanted some, she should have bought some.

Holding a 24hr grudge, then making some cookies, then witholding them from DH and calling him names is really vindictive.

Why does get to have all the biscuits and then a share of 6 small cookies too? Surely it's fairer for OP and DC to have the cookies guven he had a whole pack of biscuits?

amiloaday · 10/11/2019 09:25

Yanbu

tomatoesandstew · 10/11/2019 09:27

wrong to tell him off in front of kids but i would have been really peed off too. however me and partner have little self control over sweet stuff.

you need a personal secret stash or buy individual amounts at a time.

ThatMuppetShow · 10/11/2019 09:37

Seriously, if that' s the idea of a relationship for so many people, no wonder there are so many posts about the freedom of living alone! Sounds absolutely exhausting to live that way.

Unless there's a specific birthday cake waiting for a birthday party, and obviously it's out of bound, do people actually car so much about a ridiculous pack of biscuits!
Sounds like the petty arguments my youngest will have.

Chill out and unclench, someone is at home they eat what they fancy. Buy some more the next day or send them if you want the same.

Would your husband really give you strict instructions in the morning: you are allowed that yogurt, 3 slices of ham, 2 slices of bread, 2 servings of milk but not 3, and you mustn't touch the steaks or chicken if you get in the mood for them because they have to be "shared equally"? That's completely bonkers.

Who the fuck can live like that? Yes, you share portions when you are sitted at the same table, obviously, but when the others are not even there? Confused

I cannot raise my kids to behave like that with their partners, that's abusive!

Lockheart · 10/11/2019 09:43

@ThatMuppetShow, it's not about rationing, it's about basic consideration for others. You don't eat something intended for a meal for four and leave the other three without dinner. You don't take the entire pack of biscuits and leave nothing for everyone else. You don't eat something that's been specifically set aside for someone else or an occasion.

You don't have to sit there counting out sweets and biscuits. Just have some self control and consideration for others.

I've lived the scenario with someone taking the food and believe me, you can't live like that either.

APerkyPumpkin · 10/11/2019 09:46

You are - since when can't an adult eat the food that is available at home!

When he grows up, get a wife and has a family perhaps?

OP I am with you. Your husband needs to grow the fuck up and behave like an adult.

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