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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Biscuits - WIBU?

190 replies

Notmytelescope · 09/11/2019 18:25

So for starters I accept this is a ridiculous, petty thing but I’d appreciate some outside perspective.

The backstory: On Thursday DH went shopping and bought a packet of biscuits ( nice ones with stem ginger in - the kind that come in a box...).

Friday AM before I went to work there was almost the whole packet left. DH was at home all day.

Saturday AM, I fancied a biscuit with my coffee and they were all gone. I called him a greedy piggy.

Sat PM I rumaged in the freezer for some cookie dough I had stashed away and there was enough for 6 small ‘biscuit muffins’. Come tea time I shared these with the DCs. I said DH couldn’t have one as he’d eaten all the biscuits yesterday. (DH has a habit of always eating anything if is opened)

He is now sulking and not talking to me. I think he is being ridculous and I am pissed off with him for his over reaction. Or am I being harsh?

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

GetOffTheTableMabel · 09/11/2019 19:55

He was a bit inconsiderate. You deserved an apology and an offer to pop to the shops for more.
But your DH did not deserve to be called insulting names, or anything o be infantilised and disrespected. What you did was much, much worse than munching too many biscuits one day. The fact that this is not obvious too you suggests that you probably throw casual disrespect around with ease.

SandAndSeals · 09/11/2019 19:56

A husband doing similar and sending her away forbidding her to eat her share would be called abusive. Is that even real?!

In all honesty, it wouldn’t even come to that in my family as (if I did eat an entire packet of biscuits), I would tell my family to enjoy others as I’d overindulged the day before.

But assuming OP has two DC, why does either OP or one of the DC need to give up their portion to share with DH when he didn’t consider anyone else the day before? Why can’t she simply put herself and DC before her DH? She doesn’t need to be a martyr for him. He’s already had a fair share of biscuits.

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2019 19:57

If a woman came on here and said their partner had called them a 'greedy piggy', there'd be outrage.

Exactly this. The double standards are shocking.

Notajogger · 09/11/2019 19:57

Yes he was greedy, but treating him like a child rather than an equal, especially in front of your kids, is not good at all.

CAG12 · 09/11/2019 19:58

@GetOffTheTableMabel I agree

beadybear · 09/11/2019 20:02

Glad your not my partner !

Pukkatea · 09/11/2019 20:02

I think your family need to give up the biscuits.

FAQs · 09/11/2019 20:05

Just as a side note, if it's the Aldi Stem ginger ones they are very easy to eat in a day.

MsPotterPepper · 09/11/2019 20:07

If a woman came on here and said their partner had called them a 'greedy piggy', there'd be outrage

MN is not The Borg collective.

GaaaaarlicBread · 09/11/2019 20:08

Yeah that is really greedy, but he's an adult I guess! just buy some more biscuits x

ThatMuppetShow · 09/11/2019 20:08

But assuming OP has two DC, why does either OP or one of the DC need to give up their portion to share with DH when he didn’t consider anyone else the day before?

You would think we are in WW2 and under strict food restrictions. No one is "giving up" their portions, it's a bit of junk food

I can picture the message at work: "Your husband called and would like to know if he's allowed to eat the last ginger biscuit"
Would be funny, but if it was the wife calling to check she was "allowed"? Would it be that amusing?

MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 09/11/2019 20:11

@FrustratedTeddyLamp - She was not hiding the cookie dough in the freezer away from the husband, it was just there. She ate the bakes cookies as she got none from her husband.

I agree OP, I would not be impressed either. He was being selfish.

Croquembou · 09/11/2019 20:12

MN is not The Borg collective

Good to know. I'd been confused on that point.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 09/11/2019 20:13

You are. If you want to be biscuit monitor get a lockable cupboard, otherwise just buy more when they run out!

NaviSprite · 09/11/2019 20:16

I wouldn't call my DH a greedy piggy in front of our DC (or at all really because i'd be extremely pissed off if he dared to call me that) but I'm with you on you and DC sharing the biscuits you made and your DH not getting any if you only had enough dough for a few.

Him sulking about is a bit extreme, if he's that bothered maybe he can go back to the shops, get another pack of the stem ginger biscuits for himself, get a pack for you and DC and then ask for a cookie? :')

In all seriousness though this sounds like the sort of tiff me and my DH used to have before we agreed we buy our own snacks, if either of us fancy a bit of what the other has, we ASK, no is an acceptable answer

Orangecake123 · 09/11/2019 20:17

OP but that was yesterday! I would have let him have one too.

I have always had what my father calls a "secret stash".

MsPotterPepper · 09/11/2019 20:18

You're very much welcome Croquembou

Cohle · 09/11/2019 20:19

His behaviour was selfish and inconsiderate but calling your spouse a "greedy piggy" is horrible.

Have an adult conversation about his behaviour without name calling.

Mumofone2001 · 09/11/2019 20:20

I think if your husband called you greedy for eating too many ginger biscuits and didn't allow you cookies as a punishment you would be annoyed?

Even posh ginger biscuits in a box don't compare to cookies in my opinion! Warm cookies are amazing and if my husband wouldn't share with me, in front of my son, because he thought I should be punished for eating the day before, I would be so annoyed!

Vulpine · 09/11/2019 20:22

Just had to google borg collective

MsPotterPepper · 09/11/2019 20:23

Just had to google borg collective

NeckPainChairSearch · 09/11/2019 20:26

If a woman came on here and said their partner had called them a 'greedy piggy', there'd be outrage

There would, no doubt about it.

He ate too many biscuits. That's it. People on these boards post about having done exactly the same thing time and time again. It's usually greeted with a 'woo-hoo, OP!' type reaction and air punches from half of MN.

MIldly inconsiderate, at worst. Food policing and food shaming another adult is a bigger issue.

Lockheart · 09/11/2019 20:29

I think it's easy to tell those posters who live with a person who will frequently down entire boxes / packets of communal food and those who DON'T have the issue of there never being any biscuits etc in the house for themselves.

When I lived with my dad I'd often have to hide food to make sure I got my fair share. It's infuriating and can be upsetting if you've gone to the trouble of making something nice, only to come home from work and find the entire lot gone.

Once I bought four of those Gu desserts and said very clearly that two were for him and two for me. I had one, he decided that he just wanted my other one when I was out one evening.

We'd buy enough fresh bread from the local bakery for the family for lunch at the weekend. It was expensive but it was nice, so a weekend treat only. But he'd eat extra as a snack. Come Sunday someone had to go without and have regular sliced bread (not the end of the world obviously, but it was never him who'd just have regular bread!) because he'd eaten more than his fair share the day before.

In isolation, it's not a big deal. But when this happens regularly and you're forced to hide food because you live with a greedy bastard with no self control it can be fucking stressful to be honest.

So no I don't think OP was BU. Her DH had already taken her (and the children's?) share of the biscuits, it won't kill him to go without when everyone else already has.

saraclara · 09/11/2019 20:30

he was home alone and had no one around so no need to share.
She was in front of him and being frankly ridiculous. A husband doing similar and sending her away forbidding her to eat her share would be called abusive

Yep. Two different scenarios altogether. And what she said to the children, had it been said by her husband to them about her, would have everyone on this thread baying for his blood.

middlemuddle · 09/11/2019 20:33

Don't really see the big deal but I'd have probably replaced the biscuits had I eaten them all without sharing.

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