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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to wonder if you have sex if your older children are in the house...

143 replies

Funkyslippers · 08/11/2019 18:09

... And if you feel embarrassed as they must know what you're up to?

OH and I were going to dtd this afternoon so I quietly said we'd better do it now, he looked puzzled so DD1 who must have overheard said 'because my friend's coming over soon'. She knows what goes on when we go to our bedroom and never comments but I'd have been mortified at that age if my parents disappeared to their bedroom for you-know-what! How do others go about it?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 08/11/2019 21:04

My parents weren't discreet in having sex and it was awful. They'd make it obvious what they were going to do going for 'early nights' and weren't quiet about it.

Figgygal · 08/11/2019 21:07

Ewwwww op

SandyY2K · 08/11/2019 21:21

We do...but it's not announced or said within earshot...

Titsywoo · 08/11/2019 21:27

Hmm bit weird OP. We have sex at night. Our bedroom is on the floor below and not directly under where the kids are so they can't hear even if we are being quite loud (we checked by testing noise levels while they were out Grin). I'd never do it during the day when they are home! We also have a lock on our door to be safe.

TowerRavenSeven · 08/11/2019 21:30

Now that ds goes to bed later than we do it’s mostly morning sex, really early. And we are the epitome of silent as the grave!

doublebarrellednurse · 08/11/2019 21:41

We wouldn't be able to have sex if we didn't when DS was home.

We are subtle and don't announce it but that said son is aware we have sex, not cause it's heard or discussed but because it's a normal part of a relationship. Oh and I'm pregnant which rather gave it away.

Butterymuffin · 08/11/2019 21:50

Bit worrying that your DD worked out what 'Better do it now' meant so easily. In our house that could refer to many things from 'put the milk bottles out' to 'buy that thing on Amazon' to all sorts. It does suggest that you do this a lot and aren't very discreet about it.

Cohle · 08/11/2019 21:56

Really grim.

You wouldn't have "subtle" conversations in front of a mate that you were off upstairs for a shag. You should extend your child the same courtesy.

By all means have sex when your kids are in the house, but if they're aware of it then I think you're crossing some boundaries.

DustyWindows · 08/11/2019 22:02

How old is your DD?

BanditoShipman · 08/11/2019 22:13

Grim

We do it at night once everyone is asleep and lock our door. Plus house is large so they wouldn’t hear.

We do often go upstairs for a lie down together on a Sunday pm, but it is literally a lie down, we’re knackered from working all week

QueenofmyPrinces · 08/11/2019 22:14

Bit worrying that your DD worked out what 'Better do it now' meant so easily. In our house that could refer to many things from 'put the milk bottles out' to 'buy that thing on Amazon' to all sorts. It does suggest that you do this a lot and aren't very discreet about it.

This is exactly what I was thinking!!!

It’s a very strange immediate conclusion she came to seeing as you say it isn’t something she’s exposed to and that her overhearing you today was just a one-off..... Hmm

Justgorgeous · 08/11/2019 22:24

Your poor daughter.

TheHobbitMum · 08/11/2019 22:31

Wow, your poor daughter

rosegoldivy · 08/11/2019 22:33

Still though.... What age is your daughter lol

InsertFunnyUsername · 08/11/2019 22:39

Kids dont have to be aware of mum and dad going for a shag btw. And if she knew what you meant by better do it now, then you're a lot more obvious and weird than what most would be comfortable with.

I dont think having sex with kids in the house Is wrong, but theres absolutely no need for them to know. Of course they will guess and yes it's natural but you're putting a child in an uncomfortable position and who would want to do that Confused

MamaDane · 08/11/2019 22:47

We always knew when our parents sent us out to play it meant they were going to have sex 😂 eh so what. People have sex.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/11/2019 22:53

Fucking hell op, like you I’m a horny as a rabbit on heat, but I can wait till bed time or when no one is around. Surely you’re not that constantly desperate for a shag.

thechancellor · 08/11/2019 23:01

We tried it once...DH was so paranoid that he jumped up mid-flow to shout down the stairs "Hey, don't come up here!" even though the kids were completely absorbed in whatever they were doing and nowhere to be seen. That was the end of that Grin

WhiskeyLullaby · 08/11/2019 23:22

How disappointed OP must be for not getting a fair share of "we have sex with the kids in the house and they know all about it" stories.

No quickie material for them.

Mishappening · 08/11/2019 23:29

Ah yes - maybe this is why my atheist parents used to send us to Sunday School. Grin

user1471582494 · 08/11/2019 23:36

I'm completely shocked at the responses on here.
Why is it grim or gross to have sex when your children are home? How on earth do you expect to ever have more than one child?
This is 2019 why are we still so repressed?
As teens we sometimes knew when mum and dad were slipping off for a quicky, so what, we knew they were still committed to each other.
My husband and I work opposite schedules, there is always at least one kid home at most times. They are teenagers and spend most of their time in their rooms, they don't notice if we slip down to ours for 30 minz to dtd. We never announce it, that would be weird, but I don't understand what's wrong with having sex, in private, in your own room, when the children are in other rooms of the house.

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 08/11/2019 23:37

This is totally a thing that happened.

AwkwardFucker · 09/11/2019 00:22

I quietly said we'd better do it now, he looked puzzled so DD1 who must have overheard said 'because my friend's coming over soon

This is not normal 🤮🤮🤮

TomPinch · 09/11/2019 04:04

I don't read this and think "gross". I read it and think "your DD needs to mind her own business".

Parents and children need to know not to over-step each other's boundaries. The DD's remark was impertinent and I'd be giving mine a telling off if she made the same remark to me.

LoyaltyBonus · 09/11/2019 04:16

My parents used to go for a "nap" on a Sunday afternoon while we watched TV. I didn't like it but couldn't articulate why and I always thought is was odd that they were tired afterwards and would fall asleep on the sofa when they got up Grin

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