Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to wonder if you have sex if your older children are in the house...

143 replies

Funkyslippers · 08/11/2019 18:09

... And if you feel embarrassed as they must know what you're up to?

OH and I were going to dtd this afternoon so I quietly said we'd better do it now, he looked puzzled so DD1 who must have overheard said 'because my friend's coming over soon'. She knows what goes on when we go to our bedroom and never comments but I'd have been mortified at that age if my parents disappeared to their bedroom for you-know-what! How do others go about it?

OP posts:
orangeteal · 08/11/2019 19:21

I'm mortified for her. That's hideous.

OhHolyNightWaking · 08/11/2019 19:26

Gross!

BeerMyHold · 08/11/2019 19:26

When I was a teenager my bf's parents used to have sex and have baths together quite regularly.

It made me very uncomfortable!

My kids are too young to notice but I'd only have sex when they are asleep.

Pinkypurple35 · 08/11/2019 19:29

Christ how horrible for her. Can’t you wait until she’s asleep FFS?

TheDarkPassenger · 08/11/2019 19:33

Isn’t this off modern family?

Pringlesfortea · 08/11/2019 19:42

We manage to restrain ourselves from having sex in the day when they are home.
Plenty of time to do that when they are out of the house
Or we wait till everyone is settled down for the night in bed and nearly asleep ,never before 10 Incase they are up
I assumed most normal parents do the same as us

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 08/11/2019 19:45

Weird your daughter knows you slip off for a quickly. My kids are young and we don’t do it a lot well because we never really have and are boring. But I don’t ever recall my parents hinting they were away to have sex before people came over no

rededucator · 08/11/2019 19:51

OP If you go to your parent or PIL for a Sunday roast or Christmas dinner do you overhear your MIL asking your FIL to pop upstairs for a quicky before they miss the queens speech? Or what about at a dinner party at your friends house? Does your DD shag her boyfriend with your knowledge of an afternoon? If not, think why not.

Jeleste · 08/11/2019 20:04

Well to be fair, teenagers Notice more than their parents realise. My parents would swear me and my siblings never knew when they were having sex. But they are wrong. Each of us at caught them once (they never even noticed when we walked in). And they never announced it, but when they were nowhere to be found we always knew what they were doing. Obviously after catching them once we didnt go look for them in their room anymore.
It didnt traumatise me. Of course i thought its gross back them, but now looking back it was just a normal loving relationship.

MadeForThis · 08/11/2019 20:06

Tacky

Babyg1995 · 08/11/2019 20:11

How does she know that's what you are doing ? we get To it when we go to bed at night very quietly I might add thought that was just the norm never understood the whole slipping away for sex thing .

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 08/11/2019 20:12

Oh God I feel awful now! We don't make a habit of doing it when the kids are in the house but as I work evenings we try to do it during the day when they're at school. And we don't discuss it in front of them either until today when I didn't realise she could hear my whisper!

OP posts:
ThatMuppetShow · 08/11/2019 20:14

Contraceptionismyfriend

Insulting me for pointing out how inappropriate you are won't make you right. Just prove how little you thought that through- if you even can.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 08/11/2019 20:16

Eww. Yuck. Your poor DD. No one needs to know their parents are sneaking off for a shag. I have teens (And I hope to dear god yours is at least a teen!) and it’s perfectly possible to be discreet.

Maryann1975 · 08/11/2019 20:16

My first thought when I saw the title was ‘yes of course we have sex when the dc are in the house, when else are we going to do it?’ Then I read your message and realised you meant when the dc were awake and knew what you are doing. That is not ok and I would have mean mortified as a teenager if my parents had done that.

It’s far from ideal having to wait for everyone to go to bed or all be out at the same time, but I assumed that’s just what all parents with teenagers did?

Besidesthepoint · 08/11/2019 20:21

How would you feel if she said to her boyfriend: better do it now" and them goes to her room? You'd feel very uncomfortable, right? So don't do it to them either

ThatMuppetShow · 08/11/2019 20:26

It’s far from ideal having to wait for everyone to go to bed or all be out at the same time, but I assumed that’s just what all parents with teenagers did?

I thought that teenagers were booked for so many sport/scouts/holiday camp/ sleepovers was exactly for that reason Grin

Africa2go · 08/11/2019 20:27

Can you imagine your DD thinking that not only she knows, but her friend might too depending how long you are? Most children (assuming teenagers) would be mortified by this.

Really inappropriate.

ffswhatnext · 08/11/2019 20:28

I've had quickies with the dc's in the house awake.
Did they know?
Not a chance.
We would quietly disappear to the bedroom. No whispering. No texting. Just a look between us.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 08/11/2019 20:37

As kids, my friends and I would be sent out to play on a Sunday, looking back now it was probably a bit of afternoon delight rather than a post prandial snooze. It was never discussed in front of us though, and I wouldn't have said anything about sex to DH in front of the boys. However there is a middle ground between living like a nun and blowing him in front of Eastenders! Of course I'd have sex with DH while the boys were in the house, but in our room at night like most people do.

Ginger1982 · 08/11/2019 20:41

How old is DD?

Sparklyring · 08/11/2019 20:45

That's grim as fuck

mistydayswampwitch · 08/11/2019 20:50

I assure you you're daughter is thoroughly repulsed by this. My mums ex and her used to do this and even at 16 they thought I was completely ignorant to what they were on about. I obviously wasn't! It disgusted me then and it does to this day still! I walked in on them accidentally a few times, absolutely mortified and revolting.
We all know adults have sex but no child needs to know when their parents are at it! Regardless of their age.

MyGoodTimes · 08/11/2019 20:56

Grim

stucknoue · 08/11/2019 20:59

We did, but then h went off sex (put it down to medication! Then he left ... not sure how I'm going to navigate dating

Swipe left for the next trending thread