Oh god, I'm so embarrassed.

[Bellesboo2]

Okay, help me, I'm such a tit.
Basically, I assumed there was some back and forth subtle flirting between me and a colleague (same office but not part of the same dept)
He would smile at me, would catch him looking at me while I was working, whenever I walked by him he would stare at me, and follow me with his eyes until I sat back down. We've been trying to strike up chat here and there in passing, but I get so flustered I end up making excuses and going back to my desk.

Anyway, after months of this, and I mean months! I decided to add him in Facebook, I'd been toying with the idea for a while but put it off for some reason or another. However, it took about 2 week for him to accept, no big deal I thought, must not use his account regularly... the day after, I decided to send him a PM, basically just saying hi etc.. hes read it and not replied. I'm so mortified, I feel I've misjudged everything and I'm dreading work tomorrow now.

Please can someone find me a black hole I can jump into.

''oh cheers for blanking me on the facebook msg, god blanked!!''

Oh God PLEASE don't say this!! You'll think you're channeling your confident inner diva but you'll end up sounding wobbly voiced and desperate. I guarantee it. Some responses are great.... but best left in Mumsnet land.
Just be normal, cheerful and friendly. You didn't do anything wrong. You have so many friends that you haven't noticed whether he's replied at all. One way or another, this will blow over if you let it.

REFUSE to be embarrassed. He was friendly to you and you sent a fb request. Not ridiculous. I have lots of work people on my fb.

I wouldnt have done a wave and a hi ___ May be a bit overkill but if he likes you he'll like that you're enthusiastic

Maybe he has been flirting / giving you the eye and you're not wrong, but he's actually taken so he might feel like messaging you back is acting on his harmless crush?

@churchandstate

He’s interested in looking at you, but he’s not single is my guess.

I bet he has a girlfriend

I'm starting to think he has a girlfriend too.

Orrrrr you do look like a potato

Seriously though, none of this dissecting and coming up with reasons that suit you or make you feel better are helping. He's just not that into you. Poor sod is just floating along with his life right now unaware a load of women are on here deciding why he didn't reply to a Facebook message. Insanity.

This is not embarrassing at all. For all he knows, you send everyone wave emojis. Breezy, friendly and busy when you see him.

@DrVonPatak possibility D) he's gay and just wants to be friends?

My DD got hold of my phone and sent the wave emoji to several contacts. Including a famous chef I’m in negotiations to work with. Exactly the wrong person, and the worst timing for a random 👋🏻.

Now THAT is an embarrassment. (not helped by having her wave back at me)

skittles I really shouldn't laugh 😂

I really do not intend to sound nasty here but from what I've read.. it's taken along time from glances to staring to hello etc, have you thought maybe just maybe you have been staring at him for a long time now, he felt awkward so would look back because he knows you're looking at him? (Like for you to notice he's staring at you watching you walk back to the desk, you must be staring at him too?) like how would you know his eyes are following you?

Then he thought erm what's this girls deal she keeps staring at me while walking back to her desk so he thought he'd say hello...

I really hope though next time you see him, he acts normal and replies back! And don't doubt yourself, I'm sure you're very attractive

Well I hope that's not the case, megan 🙈 that weird potato keeps staring at me.

@Boopsy

That made me laugh so hard! Mortifying

Honestly, OP, your message isn’t even a sure sign you’re interested, in fact I’d be more inclined to think just a friendly message if I received that! So I don’t think you need to worry about having shown your hand (apart from the waving one 😂)!

If it helps, to add to PPs embarrassing stories, I was once good friends with a guy on my team, to the point where everyone else assumed we were together, we’re always joking about us keeping it secret, etc.

I once got home rather pissed after work drinks and thought it was a brilliant idea to text him and ask him out because ‘we may as well’ give it a go a everyone thinks it already! The poor guy sent a lovely message back the next day to say he was very flattered but had recently started seeing someone (which I strongly suspect wasn’t true), and I had to return to sitting across from him at work after the weekend, absolutely mortified.

Boopsy that's hilarious.

These stories are brilliant, thanks so much for the laughs!

Just style it out by being friendly and breezy. If you get to speak to him you could always say you hit the wave button by accident and so thought you'd better just say hi

Ooh I have a story. Went for a date, came back, got the train, texted a mate to say it went really well, I really think he likes me. Sent it to HIM.

The hole in the ground was nowhere to be found but I felt it!

Update please!!!

How did you do this morning OP? Did you “style it out” and maintain your cheery self?

If he has been giving you the eye and all sorts at work, I don't think you have read it wrong or at least can't blame you if you have got it wrong. Maybe he is married and has just been enjoying getting some attention but has got scared once you sent him a fb message. What does his fb info and history tell you about him?