If you would wipe out a piece of your life so it never affected you what would it be?

[WhatAMum01]

I'd never have fell for a much older guy when I was a teenager, we had a relationship if you can call it that ,but now on reflection as an adult makes my skin crawl ,he took advantage.cant believe how naive I was.it affects me to this day 25 years later.i know I'd be a different person if it hadn't happened.

Different mum

@aventurine would you want a different one or be a different one?I often wish I was a different more optimistic mum,unfortunately life doesn't work that way

Never pick up a cigarette or a drink.

Switched job for three months to an awful place, had to quit for the sake of my mental health. Now it is forever a black spot on my CV. Wish I'd never made the move.

Honestly, I don't think I'd change or erase anything. All the bad decisions or horrible people I've known have made me who I am now. I like me

I’m half tempted to follow Adventurine and say different mum ( and that is exactly what my n sister would say), but as always these things are complex, and what is really like would have been a healed mum. I think her personality disorder is largely a result of her having no parenting and being terribly insecure and unhappy in her childhood.

Wish my father wasnt an abusive alcoholic. I'm 46 and it still affects me.
I've moved on, have NC with him but I know it affects my relationships with DC's and DH, even if it's just me guaranteeing they will never experience what I did by me over compensating .

The three years from age 13-16. My mum died when I was 13 and I went from being a well behaved, academic child to somebody undisciplined and lazy (and being frightened of my dad because he used to beat me). I should have gone to university but I wasted my later school years and then dropped out of education aged 16 with a few feeble qualifications. Those years formed the rest of my life. I have had to settle for all sorts of things, including mind numbingly boring series of jobs and poor relationships choices.

I am now middle aged, and I try to be sunny side up, but at the back of my mind I think I have massively wasted my life.

I would erase doing what my parents wanted of me at 18, I've ended up poor, miserable and trapped with crippling MH issues. I wish I had just fucked off on a gap year to work out what I really wanted out of life, because it certainly isn't what I've ended up with. I had endless possibilities then but I couldn't see it.

Or I'd erase them having my younger sibling, the favouritism has messed me up the most.

Different husband.

Being an overweight and not very confident child I took refuge in books in the school library when I felt overwhelmed or ostracised by the 'cool kids'. There was a huge medical reference book which fascinated me but also, on reflection, trigged my lifelong health anxiety (at 11 years old I was convinced that I had (a) appendicitis or (b) a stomach ulcer and went back and forth to the doctors many times). Had I known just how bad this would get I would never have picked up that book.

So many 'sliding doors' moments for me.

I'd never have left my home town as a teenager to move to London, rather than do the degree course I'd worked so hard to be accepted onto; I'd never have got married at 19 to someone who I knew was wrong for me and was a serial womaniser, as well as being 20 years older than me; I'd never have gone on a blind date in the late 90s and met my ex, who turned out to be an abusive dick but only after I'd moved hundreds of miles away with him and left a job I loved.

However if none of these things had happened I'd not have ended up where I live now, or met my lovely DH 15 years ago. I wouldn't have had DD. Neither would I have started my degree, or done lots of other things I'd probably not have had the guts to do, had I not found reserves of strength I never knew I had.

Of course I might have done loads of other different things without the decades of heartache, but who knows?

All these are reasons why dwelling on regrets or mis-steps is pointless, and why I try not to do it.

Yay Greysarkles.

I've had lots if shit with lots of regrets. The only thing I'd change is starting smoking as a teen.
I don't blame or grieve for myself over the past it really helped me get over it, there is always a reason we behave the way we do, if you learn from it, see the reason we fell for the manipulation, shut the door, it helps.

@WhatAMum01 same here, it was only 10 years ago and it makes me sick thinking about. Took me a few years to dawn on me what done to me. Our relationship (if you could call it that) started with him sexually assaulting me - at the time I didn’t realise he had and I continued to sleep with him for 2 years.

I do always wonder how my life would be if I’d never had an abortion at 19. I would now have a 20 year old! Even though I’m happy with my life now and have 3 amazing dc, I always think about that. It’s a huge regret in my life.

I wouldn't because as shit as many things have been, the process and getting through it - it's all made me who I am now and I like this person

@Designerenvy

I'm 56 and an abusive alcoholic father (who died when I was 17) still affects me. I was NC with my Mum for 5 years as well as she just screamed abuse at me whenever she saw me. She seems to have learned to behave in extreme old age.

Op i would like to have had a different mum. I'd like my childhood not to have been dominated by her mental health problems, aggression and constant criticism. I'd like to have had a kind, supportive, stable and capable mum instead.

I should have worked harder at school, studied something different at university and just generally been more ambitious with my career. I have a nice, happy, easy life but I denied myself the satisfaction of a challenging career and the feeling that I earned this life. It’s all luck. But I’m plenty intelligent enough to have made more of a contribution to society and my family.

Never have stopped exercising when I bought my first car. I was as fit as a butchers dog before then!

This year! Divorce is a killer haha

Not developing osteoarthritis at 32 - that would save me a whole lot of pain every day. Please let me know when you can make this happen

I wouldn’t have married my first husband at 17...6 years of the most horrific physical, emotional and verbal abuse has messed up my MH beyond belief. I would also wipe out the severe PND I suffered after my DD2, up till this day the memories make me miserable...