If you would wipe out a piece of your life so it never affected you what would it be?

[WhatAMum01]

I'd never have fell for a much older guy when I was a teenager, we had a relationship if you can call it that ,but now on reflection as an adult makes my skin crawl ,he took advantage.cant believe how naive I was.it affects me to this day 25 years later.i know I'd be a different person if it hadn't happened.

I really wouldn't dwell too much on what happened in the past, it is how you deal with it that matters. As the saying goes, you change it or accept it.

OP I'm sorry that happened to you

Oh my goodness this thread is heartbreaking. So sorry for what some of you have gone through & in some cases are still going through. I would erase the really tough years with DH when he was so incredibly stressed & worried about money that he treated me like his emotional punchbag. I definitely should not have put up with what I did. It affected both me & DD deeply.

High school

Would not have been a fat child.

Definitely bullying. What I experienced was nowhere near as bad as some other pp as it wasn't physical but I was at an all girls school and they would gang up and run away from me at break times, write notes to each other in class saying horrible things about me etc. As others have said, it absolutely crushes your self esteem and to this day, I still feel self conscious when I see anyone pass a note or whisper even though it is likely nothing to do with me. Friendships with girls in particular have been an issue from me throughout life and although I am lucky to have a fantastic group of friends from antenatal classes, I am so careful what I say and am always terrified they will all want nothing to do with me at one point.

@RolytheRhino it won't forever be w black spot on your CV. You can easily wipeout 3 months!

Bullied throughout secondary school, would have left my ex (dds father) a lot sooner but then would never have had her and shes amazing (lots of abuse I didn't recognise at the time).
Losing mum at 20 and dad at 27 when I was 24 weeks pregnant
The last 6 months in family court fighting for people to believe me when all I want is the best for dd.

@Stravapalava
Me too. It seems to have come back and haunted me too now I'm a bit older. Secondary school was just horrific for me.

I went on holiday ( uk)aged 18 with my boyfriend and 2 other couples.
I got a very bad case of food poisoning and my parents drove up to me and brought me home. The illness went but the mental scarring has persisted to this day. 59 now.
I suffer from anxiety and can honestly say it has affected me and how I've lived my life since. I am trying cbt now and possibly councilling after. I would erase that period in a heartbeat.

Secondary school. I hated it and ended up severely depressed and self-harming by the age of 13. All the counselling/support I received was focused on making me attend school and do homework. The idea that it was the environment and not me that was the problem never seemed to be considered.

@SpinsterOfArts

My DD was exactly the same, she did terribly in the school environment and the push was to get her back into class. Once she got out of school she did great.

I would erase ages 12-17 with grooming and abuse that it took till my 30s to seek counselling for and not blame myself and feel ashamed. It has had a profound effect on my adult life and self worth and I wonder how my life would have turned out if I had not been carrying that burden.

I would have left the first time he hit me

I'm happy where I am - but if I could have changed secondary school or at least been allowed to change sixth form or subject or do something outside school- so I got a break from the bullying and constant narrative I was the problem - not just by other kids but by some staff.

Looking back it was beyond awful I was assaulted in front of staff and now what I'd have no hesitation in calling sexual assaulted. It fed into home situation that and made that worse.

It was bloody odd how I was always separated from friends I had and put in classes situation with people who bullied me. I was miserable anxious and very lonely and dark for entire 7 years – I think it shear luck I avoided damaging behavior or meeting exploitive men and focused on my education and getting hell out of there.

Wow so much heartbreak.im sorry for each one of you.i started my thread as it seems certain episodes in life really end up defining you or rather your personality. I'd also go back and not have made the decision to have a third child,hes ended up severely disabled and its changed the course of my life forever, and also that of my children and husband.

Been born into a different family, with loving parents and siblings who I could be close to as an adult. Also been born into a different body - one that isn’t plagued by chronic illnesses that have no cure.

Not got married (and divorced) so young

Or at least left that relationship way way before I did. I wasted over a decade unhappy.

@WTF99 same here.

I was 29 and my first chemo almost killed me (my DM was told to say her goodbyes). There is absolutely nothing good about that period in my life, it almost killed me and deeply affected my family, especially my DM and DH. I've had people tell me I'm great/lucky/etc, which I agree with, but I'd prefer for that to have never happened to me.

The ongoing terror when you feel something bumpy in the shower, or you have a two-day migraine, or you hear about people who were sick at the same time as you having a reoccurrence, or dying. It's absolute shite.

Gosh on one hand I'd like to erase my abusive ex. On the other hand I never would because the experience gave me humility and thankfulness. It showed me how good some (other) people can be to someone in need.

Same goes for my stillborn daughter. I would want to erase that terrible traumatic heartbreak. But mot her sweet little face that looked so much like my brother.

I wouldn't wish my life experiences on anyone. At the same time I wish more people had the same insight that I got from those same experiences.

S

Pressed to soon

So in the end I would change nothing

I'm going to say nothing, as much as I think I wish I had never met my first abusive boyfriend or gone through everything I have it's made me a stronger better person.

And I would say that to all of you the bad things may hurt but you are who you are because of what you have been through xx

DHs mental break down. He spent all our money and we still haven’t clawed our way out of the hole he dug for us.

I'd wipe out the 12 years I spent with a violent, abusive, controlling, drug dealing shithead who put me in hospital on more than one occasion.

I was afraid of my own shadow for a very, very long time and it took a long, long time for my DH and I to put me back together again.

I'd delete both my parents having dementia. I've been through hell for 8 years and it ain't over yet

Different secondary school. My teen years were hell because of the crap comp I went to.

I would never have fallen for the bad boy with the motorbike.

It wasn't until we'd had three kids and were married a whole month that I found out just how bad he was. If i hadn't fallen for him at 16 then it wouldnt have sparked a whole chain of unimaginable events that led to the terror and devastation of those that i love the most. I so desperately desperately wish i could change that. Because I can't i now have to live with the consequences.

My health. I often wonder what opportunities I could have had, if things had been different.