AIBU to ask for your best comeback to this work colleague...

[Seraphina77]

A male work colleague today said to me that employed women/men who choose not to have children should still be entitled to take 12 months off, paid at the equivalent of maternity/paternity pay because "then it's fair".

I was completely sidelined and apart from explaining to him that maternity/paternity leave is not a holiday, I couldn't get my brain in gear quick enough to come up with a cogent argument in response!

Help me out mumsnet... how would you have responded???

Maybe he’s got a point - but then I work with a lady who has 6 kids - I have 4, we both 6 months paid so 5 years between us - seems unfair when I think about it now. I retired at 50 so I haven’t worked that much compared to many - maybe he’s got a good point.

Wow I cannot believe people here have the view that children are not beneficial to society?? We have an aging population so need children to be born, educated and raised to be future tax payers and lets be honest carers.
I think people who have this view don't understand they also benefit from society but have the view that a year off (not full pay or any for me after 9 month's) and £9 a week child benefit is the reason people have kids.

Only those that contribute to bringing up the next generation are entitled to it. By not having children, he's not entitled. You could say that you have been pondering his comment and obviously not everyone has the skills or is cut out for parenthood. Sympathise with his selfishness and lack of skills and suggest he could look into other ways to support society - a sabbatical helping to teach children in Africa, that sort of thing.

If I was the colleague I might reply “what specialist skills, aptitudes or indeed unselfishness do you need to get pregnant?”

Basically he’s broken every rule about diversity awareness in the workplace.

Basically he’s broken every rule about diversity awareness in the workplace.

No, he hasn't. I can't see that it breaks even one rule about diversity awareness. He hasn't said anything about cancelling parental leave.

People who stick rigidly to the idea that only parents should be allowed extended time off are, in my view, the ones who are less diversity aware.

There are people who, due to a protected characteristic, are less likely to be able to benefit from parental leave - disabilities that make childbearing more difficult or a hard choice because a disability might be passed on - male couples who would need to jump through the hoops of surrogacy or adoption - anyone who has cancer/cancer treatment that affects fertility.

Making extended leave available to parents only is a form of indirect discrimination, in my opinion. The OP's colleague should be applauded for trying to eliminate this.

Next he’ll be saying “tsk tsk, I don’t know why we employ women of childbearing age when they all go and get themselves knocked up so they can take a paid holiday for a year”. He’s one step away from that - blatant discrimination and sexism. If you can’t see that you are blind. That sort of attitude harms all women in the workplace - including those who either chose not to have children or can’t have them.

Say 'Yes of course, as long as they sign up and train to be a foster carer during that period. There's a huge need for it!'

That sort of attitude harms all women in the workplace - including those who either chose not to have children or can’t have them.

If you allowed everyone to have extended leave periods, you'd eliminate any reason for discrimination.

Basically he’s broken every rule about diversity awareness in the workplace.

This is ironic as people without children are themselves a diversity issue in the workplace albeit one most HR depts haven’t heard of.

I do think he has a point, and many people without children do wind up covering and sometimes doing extra to make up for the absences of others. At the same time, it's not quite like taking fag breaks constantly throughout the day, which many places certainly used to allow.

As has been said, other types of leave might apply - bereavement for pet, caring for elderly parents etc. Difficult one to keep boundaried and rather too open to abuse though I'm afraid.

Sorry, no smart responses here - my brain doesn't work quickly enough! I'd go away and think of something later.