To think people who parent like this do their children no favours

[lastqueenofscotland]

Back story, as a bit of a side hustle I ride some horses for a lady who keeps them on her own private property. These are fully fit Competition horses, not novice or easy rides. It is a paid arrangement which I am grateful for.

A colleague overheard me talking about it to someone yesterday and chirped up that their 11 year old started riding last year and she’d love to come and ride these horses... I brushed it off and just laughed and said “oh haha it’s not really that sort of set up”

Today she came to me and said quite seriously “when can my daughter come and ride” to which I explained they are not my horses, they are kept on private property and they are not appropriate rides for a child”
To which the woman turned round looking horrified saying that she’d told her daughter about me and how she could come and ride these horses. I stressed that it wasn’t appropriate or safe.
She then sent me an email later in the day asking if I couldn’t just ask the lady that owns them and surely she could just come round and have a quick ride. I ignored the email.
If she brings it up again WIBU to point out animals are not toys and if she’s the one who’s disappointed her daughter, not me?!

Just tell her 'neigh'!

I don't think the daughter is in danger though, as her mum's not going to find a horse owner who says yes unless their horse is suitable and it's safe, insured etc.

I don't know anything about horses but I love a horse thread because people are so knowledgable on here about them and it's interesting so here I am- feel free to ignore me!
I'd reply to her email saying very clearly and bullet pointing so she cannot possibly get confused that her kid cannot ride a competition horse who is very unsuitable for anything other than experienced riders (learned this from this thread!), the owner will absolutely not allow this due to the unsuitability of a novice child riding, you will not even ask due to the unsuitability of a child riding, it would not be appropriate for you to even request this of the owner because it is DANGEROUS FOR A CHILD TO RIDE THE HORSES and to please not ask again, they are privately owned and a school is the most appropriate place for her child. Say you would put neither horse nor child at risk by doing so. Then just roll your eyes at any further email or questioning and ask her to refer to your email.

I get this all the time. My two are 17h (size of a police horse) and competition horses, so not remotely suitable. It's even worse that she's expecting to ride someone else's horses!

I wouldn't bother telling the owner. Just repeat the no to this woman, tell her does she want her daughter to get injured fgs, then suggest a good local riding school.

Spell out that not suitable for children means her dd could be paralysed or even worse.

Tell her to fuck off. Not being horsey explains why she doesn't understand the difference between a horse that's safe for a beginner and a competition horse. But doesn't excuse the fact all adults should know that it's not acceptable to go round freeloading other peoples property. When her dd gets her provisional licence will she be asking colleagues similar about letting her borrow their cars?

I've got one that is suitable for a supervised beginner to handle and sit on, and another that an unsupervised beginner would be fine to handle and ride on lead rein. I'm still not a free fucking riding school.

I recall one incident where for some unknown reason I did let someone I don't know well bring their dc up, and they knew fucking everything and were keen to offer their advice, and managed to piss off both safe ponies which takes some doing. Both have a long history with dc, including a dc with complex sn. But neither are used to being shouted at or rough handling. Stropped because I wouldn't let them handle a very safe, but very elderly ex competition horse because she liked to be left in peace. Then kept asking to ride another entirely unsuitable pony, with the parent trying to tell me their dc could ride anything because they were in the advanced class. Finally they decided the problem was my dangerous, lunatic horses when I pointed out they couldn't play with any of the others or jump competition horses. Yes, how inconsiderate to own horses that we want, instead of a selection of plods taught to tolerate precocious dc and their horrible ways. Never again.

She sounds seriously crazy! Would she allow her 11-year-old daughter to drive someone else's fancy car on the motorway with no instruction???

Send her this link - www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/yorkslincs/series11/week9_horse_riding.shtml

Also this page, especially the second post: forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/does-horse-riding-have-to-be-dangerous.745152/

I’ve owned ex racehorses forever, everyone is terrified of them and no one asks me to ride them ever.

Haha! Typical. Can I pop round just to smell their muzzles?

I think my response would be "you do realize that these horses could easily kill your child?", but then again I'm not very polite when people are demanding stupid things.

Well, even if it was an old horse, a car or a bicycle, it is not yours to lend. Surely she should be able to understand that?

Very pushy.
She was rude for eavesdropping on your conversation.

I don't think you need to offer up any explanations of why. Just repeat No like a broken record.

Don't know if she would know who Christopher Reeve was but a perfect example of how dangerous.

Surely in this situation of such severe cheekiness, one can actually be quite direct and say something like

Can you elaborate on why you are of the presumptuous belief that your DD is entitled to ride these horses?

Depends how polite you need to be

I think your being a bit harsh on this woman clearly she is ignorant on Horse matters and is in need of education rather than criticism.

I an ignorant of "Horse Matters" and even I know it is cheeky as fuck to demand your offspring ride a strangers horse

YANBU, she’s an arse, with the hide of a rhino to boot

Someone who behaved like that would be no palomino

Wow, she's a CF. If she persists, I'd point out that she butted in having overheard a conversation, that they aren't your horses, and even if it was up to you to give permission, they are entirely unsuitable. In fact ask her if she wants you to call social services given her complete disregard for her child's safety thinking this is suitable.

I think your being a bit harsh on this woman clearly she is ignorant on Horse matters and is in need of education rather than criticism.

I know approximately 2/5 ths of fuck all about our equine friends but even I would glean that (a) as they are not the OP’s horses it’s not for her to start offering rides and (b) horses used for competition are not going to be suitable to be ridden by a little girl. You can have common sense without knowing anything about horses

Or were you deliberately vague about this being a paid arrangement because you're not declaring the income?

Eh? Or maybe because the OP would prefer to keep her out of the office activities private and not share too much with CFs!

That really was an odd leap.

"I'm annoyed that this CF keeps insisting that I should let her child ride someone else's entirely unsuitable for children horses"

"You're cheating on your taxes, aren't you?"

@Aventurine
Someone who behaved like that would be no palomino

I’m not remotely horsey but DD2 lived for her weekly riding lesson, always volunteering at the yard etc

DD’s friend was an accomplished rider with a couple of frisky competition ponies. I absolutely hated DD going for a little ride on them (honestly, I hated her riding altogether). This mother sounds unhinged: horses are big and dangerous. The placid ones in the yard are bad enough.

Tell CF that horse owner is not insured for anyone to ride her horses, except employees on contract (or something to that effect). Surely that would be true anyway, as if there was an accident then she would be leaving herself open to legal claim.

I managed to fall off a dozy old pony when I wasn’t much older than this woman’s daughter. The horses you ride would’ve been the end of little me!

Ignore her. If she asks again just say health and safety, insurance, totally unsafe for a child etc.
Not that it would be any less cheeky of an ask if the horses were suitable for beginners!

'These horses are too advanced for your daughter to ride even if they did belong to me. I don't understand why you are trying to insist on putting your daughter in danger but I will not facilitate it, and will be cross if you ask again'.