To ask my MIL to stay in an AirBnB when she visits?

[LoverNotOfChicken]

We have 3 kids and a 3 bedroom house. Lots of kids, toys and stuff! Rejig of rooms when she stays, blow up beds etc.

About 4 houses down is an AirBnB, £26 per night. Really nice lady runs / owns it. Is it unreasonable to suggest she stops there in future? MIL doesn't visit often, only 3 times a year for a 4 days, no FIL on the scene.

I'd just ask her outright and offer it as an option but make it very clear that she's also welcome to stay. Perhaps she isn't coming so often because of the sleeping arrangements when she visits. I'd offer to pay too.

We did it for parents one Christmas. They stayed Christmas Eve and Christmas night.

A post in reverse

I live alone in a one-bed house. I love seeing the grandchildren and their parents.
The thing is though I haven't really got space. It was a bit easier when the gc was a baby. But now he's a lot bigger and takes up more space.
So I've been thinking about it, and have had a look around at suitable alternatives. Aibu to suggest this to them and I will even offer to pay the place.
Ok, it isn't quite what they would have at home. But really it's just whilst everyone sleeps. During the day we can do all the family stuff together. I would like to pay for accommodation that meets their exact needs, but it's all I can afford. I've found a place that's a couple of minutes walk away. What should I do?

What advice would you give gran? It doesn't matter which gran.

I personally wouldn't ask my MIL to stay in an airbandb or a hotel.
I'd move the kids around, make a nig fuss of them camping out in the same room, maybe invest in a blow up mattress that they can take turns sleeping on .
Its only 3 or 4 nights and you say she's nice. I'd leave her stay at ours .

@BillieEilish. It's different for each family, its more the principle I was commenting on... if the house is crowded and both parties agree then there are advantages. It's not a bad idea for elderly PILS who need a comfortable bed and may not want to drive home at night (as mine dont) to stay nearby.
They didn't feel pushed out. They liked being independent. Our house is small and crowded when we have visitors around and it's too much for them for long periods.
My MIL said upfront that she didn't want to stay in our loft conversion bedroom which was on offer to her and PIL.
It was too late for first option - B n Bs - as they were all full but there is a small family hotel in PIL walking distance. MIL liked it which was a relief as she is very difficult to please.
I offered to pay several times but they said they would pay for it themselves. On the plus side I didn't have to clean the entire house to MIL standard at the same time as providing Xmas Day for large group of extended family so it worked out well for both sides.

Nosauce It's very little to do with MIL and DMs. What is this competition thing? Like many parents I'll be a MiL and a DM at the same time.

Anyway, the OP has had no mother for some time. She clearly loves her DMil and is suggesting something that might be comfortable for all of them. Her DH doesn't seem to have an opinion but should be the one proposing it to his DM.

Do you really believe posters think and treat their MILs the same as they do their own mums crosstalk?

My kids are adult now and I would much rather pay to stay in an AirBnB than to put everyone out by them all having to move beds etc. There's also washing the bed linen afterwards that's a pain if someone visits. I'd also like to have somewhere to go back to for a lie down in the afternoon. The only thing I would worry about is that price sounds very cheap - have you seen the accommodation?

When my inlaws or parents come to visit, they always stay at either a nearby hotel or a airbnb. And they pay for themselves. It makes everything much easier! We all spend the day together but also get space and a decent nights sleep. They are not so keen on being woken up at 6:30am by a four year old.

But...

DH is very laid back and doesn't have a view on it tbh. Organising the visits is down to me.

why the heck isn't your husband organizing this! It's HIS mother. Laid back my arse... Tell the lazy sod it's his job to sort it all out.

Duckbilled thanks for clarifying, PIL's were indeed a married couple, wanted to stay apart from the family/were happy to and requested to do so and chose a small hotel in which to do so. (Presumably with own bathroom as MIL has such high standards.

As I said, exactly as I thought. Just wanted to check. Jolly sensible and kind solution. Not at all like the OP is suggesting though.

We have seen the accomodation, it has a 5* review and the neighbour is a lovely lady. I wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't nice.

I don't get why the bathroom is a deal breaker? I would rather share with 1 other person that 5 family members? Plus it would only be early / late? She is welcome to use ours when here.

You clearly don't get it OP and that's fine. Do what you think best. If my DD did this to me I would be mortified. But she would not do it, she loves and respects me.

Before you all jumps in I travel all around the world on business on my own, independance is not the point.

Really you should leave this to DH as it is his mother. You must leave it to him.

OP, she would be staying in a stranger's home and sharing their bathroom. You might not be able to see anything wrong with it, but many of us have said how uncomfortable we'd find that set up. I don't even like staying in really small B and Bs, let alone someone's spare room. Do whatever you want, but I'd be hurt if you suggested that option to me.

I would much rather the AirB&B option. So would my parents/in laws. I think it's an ideal solution. If you're worried - ask your MIL? Other people's opinions don't matter.

But she would not do it, she loves and respects me.

I love my family, they still stay in a hotel when visiting.

A HOTEL

The whole point is this is a 26 pounds a night spare room. NOT A HOTEL and MIL has NOT BEEN ASKED AND SHE IS ON HER OWN.

Leaving the thread now as it is too frustrating.

Ask the MIL and your DH. Good luck and hope you are never in this situation yourself.

A hotel is 5 miles away and she has no car! It is not a realistic option!

I think everyone gets that, OP, but it’s so so hurtful.

I love and respect my mother in law.

Weird.

Just wondered if she would rather be in an AirBnB than the toddler room whilst the other children were on a camp bed / bunk beds.

I do believe you, OP.

But ... it’s hard to put into words. I’ll try to explain.

‘This is OUR home, for OUR little family. YOU are separate to that, YOU are apart from that.’

That’s how it would feel to me.

I don't see the problem, I wouldn't book it without running it past her first though.
In all honesty I'd offer the same for my mother 🤷🏼‍♀️

But she would not do it, she loves and respects me.

Mine love and respect me as well. I also feel the same about them, and I respect that if there is no space there is space.

The majority of children love and respect at least one of the parents.

It's great that your dd has space in her home to give you a bed.

Oh OP, your suggestion is awful, rude and disrespectful. A bedroom in a house with no private bathroom, just no. You need to wise up.

MN is so anti-MIL, you are getting biased views.