Shop staff took my daughter out of her trolley seat

[mummydoingamasters]

Soooo, first time posting but I need a head wobble I think.
I have a tendency for the dramatics but this really did upset me.
Second time mum, DS2 and DD 12 weeks. We went shopping at a local supermarket and DD hates being moved around (who doesn't).
First off, there were no baby trolleys or car seat trolleys so I had to ask for the shop to let me use the one they were keeping indoors.
Walking round, DD starts to cry, a 'I've been disturbed and I'm going to make you pay for it' cry. A member of staff walking past started to touch her bare hand in an attempt to settle her. This member of staff was wearing work gloves and I don't know what she had been handling whilst wearing those gloves. I pushed the trolley on already embarrassed by the noise DD was making.
We get to the till and the member of staff on the till gets up, walks behind me to the trolley, unbuckles DD and has her up on her shoulder trying go to settle her while I'm unloading my shopping. There is no exchange, no attempt to engage with me if this is even ok just does it. I notice when another member of staff joins her and have to say that I don't like it when strangers pick up/touch/handle my child. She said she was trying to help as I was busy with the shopping and she thought it would help me. My thought process would probably have been to help with the shopping, not the strangers child or is it me that's wrong?!

I get home, tell my DP about it and he goes nuts. I'm usually the one to lose my temper quite quickly when it comes to the DC's but he was really unhappy. Understandably on reflection. I felt really outnumbered and caught off guard which is why I said nothing more than already stated but getting home and replaying it, I really think I down played this?

AIBU to contact the company and complain or am I being a fractious mum who needs to get over herself?

You "have a tendency for the dramatics"

You're "usually the one to lose your temper quite quickly when it comes to the DCs"

Your "DH went nuts".

I'd be working on that before complaining about other people who were just trying to help.

No wonder Brits have a reputation of being colder towards children than Italians, Spanish etc.

She was trying to help but it's a bit undermining to you and wasn't her place. I would be as taken aback as you were.

my dad use to pick peoples babies out of there prams throw em up in the air and make em laugh, and i mean , almost everytime he saw a baby, knowone gave an over protective shit...... the member of staff was clearly trying to comfort your child, and you get the arse about it? What else could that person have done to your baby? Do you read the papers? Be glad he or she wanted to be of assitiance to your child, the more people in the world that do, the better your child life will be. see it like that.

Tice calm down! If you read the post again you'll see I meant the shop worker who had calmed by baby and therefore stopped giving the other shoppers something to play audience too!

That's a tough one, OP but I'd be similarly frustrated. If a staff had asked if they could hold your DD for you, would you have consented? In my view, the staff should have simply asked to help and should know that you do not have physical contact with anyone's child without permission, a nod will do, from a parent. Period.

I would have simple said, "Oi, get your fucking filthy ands off my baby". lol.... its difficult to call as human instinct kicks in, in contradiction to my last post. Thats kids isnt it? Your just an animal when it come to kids, the inner self takes over to protect your precious gift.

Jeez, really OP? They were just trying to be helpful. I would have been grateful. God, what a world we live in. Seriously, OP?

I would have thanked the employee their kindness.

Can you not just appreciate that however misguided the assistant was only trying to help.

And I hope you've reconsidered any form of complaint.

I actually get your unease in this case.
I'd have been very surprised if someone had done this to me without asking. If they had asked, I'd have asked them if the could unload my shopping whilst I saw to the baby, and then asked someone to pack for me.
I have my DGS once a week and often go shopping with him. I always ask them to pack my things now as I have a dodgy wrist, (and would much rather be playing with him whilst someone else does the boring stuff).
However, they were only trying to help, somewhat clumsily.

My DP did not get riled up

Compare & contrast with "my DP went nuts'.

Ok so I did notice and I said something.
Yes, you "looked up and noticed she wasn't in her seat" so she had taken your DD out of her seat without you noticing.

The fact is, I shouldn't have had to. It's a supermarket not a crèche.
Which I clearly stated in my post.

You make it sound like I was out in the car park talking to someone about my Christmas tree. I was unloading my shopping, I'd picked up several items at once in order to be quick and when I looked up I noticed she wasn't in the seat.
I said she picked your baby up without you noticing. i didn't say anything about car parks and Christmas trees. That is pure dramatics and exaggeration on your part.

I don't think I've 'over-egged' anything.
See above

My DP did not get riled up, he was upset that I was upset and could not do anything about it.
You said he "went nuts". He was either riled up and 'went nuts' or he didn't and you were exaggerating for dramatic effect.

You clearly have no REAL problems do you OP?

I think she could see you were struggling and tried to help. I personally would be complimenting the cashier not complaining about her

This exactly. I’m not sure why your DH went ballistic. She was trying to be helpful. And as for the gloves, your child isn’t made of glass, and is going to be surrounded by germs all her life.

Op you need to get over youself. What could possibly have happened to your baby, she was clearly trying to help.

They weren’t trying to help, they just wanted a baby cuddle

Doubt it - a prolonged screaming baby -probably wanted to,hush it's

A misguided effort to,help.

But god help the OP if she ever ventures tomCyprus - the land of strangers' children smother in kisses and 'plucked' from pushchairs etc

They were just trying to help. Poor women

@Celebelly

This reminds me of the lovely story that went viral about an air stewardess that rocked a baby to sleep, while the mum was struggling to settle her toddler.

So lovely and helpful.

OP give your head a wobble....seriously.

Your DH also went nuts because they lifted the baby?

Where was he?

So lovely and helpful.

I doubt anyone would disagree...bet she asked first though!

It was obviously with the best of intentions but it was incredibly rude of them not to ask first.

Ok, you really need to stop doubting yourself - the cow unbuckled your child, put it on her shoulder and you didn’t dare say anything?... ‘Wtf do you think you are doing?’ - would have been a tame response. This person wasnt helping, she was blatantly showing you ‘how it’s done’, patronising you and ignoring boundaries any normal person would have. Very inappropriate behaviour.

Flashbac well yes actually, but I'm not asking about those.

DontMakeMeShushYou I love that you are so matter of fact about everything. I envy your simplistic and factual outlook to things.

I don't think my child is made of glass, but as I have pointed out, allergies run in my family and are therefore a concern.

I wasn't struggling, my baby was being a baby and I needed the shop assistant to be a shop assistant and do her job so I could comfort my child.