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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

She should have let me have it surely?

518 replies

AaaaaaarghhhWhereAreMyKeys · 04/11/2019 22:42

In charity shop today with a GOOD friend (friend went in before me as I needed to go to another shop). When I got back 2 mins later she’d found a gorgeous coat, lovely colour, in great condition, my size not hers.

I said how lovely it was but was it the right size for her? She said she liked it anyway, fair enough, kind-of. After we left, I repeated that I thought it was lovely and if she changed her mind and didn’t want it after all I’d buy it from her. She still said she wanted to keep it.

Greedy cow has only gone and listed it on eBay!!! It’ll probably sell for much more than she paid for it. She doesn’t particularly need the money. I have a young DC and not currently working. There’s no way I could afford a coat like that at the moment at full-price, let alone whatever price she gets for it on eBay.

She’s been a good friend for a long time and we’ve been through a lot but I honestly think that was so unkind. Am so upset with her.

What do we think Mumsnet? Aibu?

OP posts:

GenderfreeJoe · 05/11/2019 11:40

She spotted and bought it to make a profit on eBay, it would have been kind of her to let you have it, but she's under no moral obligation to do so.

LolaDabestest · 05/11/2019 11:44

I wouldn't have even thought twice about it, this person is honestly not a friend.

yellowallpaper · 05/11/2019 11:49

What a bitch. Sorry she's not a friend.

NoSauce · 05/11/2019 11:55

What a bitch? WTF.

The OP knows that the friend buys stuff from charity shops to sell on Ebay? Why on earth should she have it knowing this?

dontalltalkatonce · 05/11/2019 12:15

Wow, with friends like, who needs enemies? She went shopping to find clothes to sell on for her business. You, 'You're too fat for that coat so I'll take it.' 'Nah, I'm buying it to flog it'. You, 'I'm going to go on MN and tell everyone you're a bitch and go on Ebay and slag you off to your buyer. Anyone who doesn't agree with me that you're a bitch is jealous and wrong.'

Definitely end the friendship over this. You sound utterly awful.

Chloe84 · 05/11/2019 12:16

@siacolouredthesmallone

The one comment about spelling sandwiched

It was two!

Maybe your humour is too erudite for me, I haven’t even read Wolf Hall.

But I like that you admitted your hypocrisy, I’m a self-aware hypocrite too (at times).

Pinkandbluecandyfloss · 05/11/2019 12:18

That's mean. She's not a real friend. I had a 'friend' like that once. She was another mum from school. I asked a question about something for sale on a facebook selling page. I had every intention of buying it, just wanted to check one detail. Then she came along and said she'd take it. I unfriended her & ignore her at school since then. Cheeky cow! She hasn't got hardly any friends and now I know why. Some people just don't know how to behave nicely.

BloggersBlog · 05/11/2019 12:19

At least OP you now know that when you tag along with her you purely are there for company, it isnt a shopping trip. She is at work and tbh should do it alone if misunderstandings and upsets like this are to be avoided.
Her priority is to make money, not to help a mate in this circumstance.

Chloe84 · 05/11/2019 12:21

@Pinkandbluecandyfloss

Surely it’s first come first served?! She was quicker to buy than you, you can’t hold that against her, maybe she really wanted it too?!

ThatMuppetShow · 05/11/2019 12:21

YAB massively U

Your comments about her financial situation are completely out of order - unless you are her accountant, you have no idea. She saw a bargain, bought it - didn't grabbed it out of your hands did she! - and is selling it.
Completely fair enough, and you have no idea how she needs the money.

If she can sell it well, why should she offer it to you for next to nothing? You would be offended to pay the real price anyway, it's much healthier to keep money out of friendship.

You are especially BU to think your friend should come to charity shops with you, wait for you, not pick anything until you have decided that you don't want them. It's ridiculous.

MargotB7 · 05/11/2019 12:34

She wasn't being friend and I wouldn't be shopping with her again.

She didn't have to let you have it but most people would have let you.

Let her go looking for eBay stock on her own She doesn't sound fun.

Buddyelf · 05/11/2019 12:37

So your friend spies a coat she likes, she thinks I'll buy this. You then spy the coat, insinuate she's too fat for it but you aren't, then get annoyed when she doesn't immediately hand it over to you? Is that right?
She's now decided to sell it on eBay which she has every right to do because its hers and shes a 'greedy cow'. OK
OP you have no claim to the coat, you are not entitled to it in anyway regardless of your size or income. She found it first and bought it. End of.

Sagradafamiliar · 05/11/2019 12:43

Ok then Lockheart, but I was responding to you repeatedly asking what was stopping charity shops from setting prices a lot higher and asking other posters to enlighten you. But ok.

Lockheart · 05/11/2019 13:01

Yes @Sagradafamiliar but I was responding to other posters who refused to consider why charity shops didn't price that way and who were being obtuse.

Irisloulou · 05/11/2019 13:02

Bloody mean, I’d not shop with her again.

Sockworkshop · 05/11/2019 13:17

OP YABU
Im sorry but you sound horribly entitled .
There is no "should" about it.
Havent you read all the posts on here about people who think they can take stuff that they like?

As for the person giving away the rollers !

Stop all the victim stuff , if you cant afford a coat then get a job.

NoSauce · 05/11/2019 13:24

Baffled at the people calling the friend. It’s the OP with the cheek here. She knows her friend buys clothes to sell on Ebay, why should she expect to have the coat handed over to her.

WHY??

PumpkinPieAlibi · 05/11/2019 13:24

IceCreamandCandyFloss

I can’t see what she’s done wrong either. She bought a coat, the charity shop benefitted and now she’s making a little extra money on eBay. Lots of people do it. Your finances and work status are your issue, not hers.

I agree with this. It's very, very entitled to assume that you should profit from something that you have not contributed to solely on the basis of being in a financially tighter position (which in itself is presumptuous as you just don't know the state of her finances).

LovePoppy · 05/11/2019 13:25

@Pinkandbluecandyfloss

That’s a completely different situation. In that case you were first and your friend took it out from under you. In this case friend was first and OP was trying to take it out from under her

LovePoppy · 05/11/2019 13:27

Do all the people calling out the friend just give up their own things if a friend wants it?