AIBU to want to boycott M&S?

[thatdamnwoman]

Marks & Spencer has made its changing rooms unisex because it is striving to be inclusive and it wants everyone to feel comfortable in whichever changing room they want. Which means that a woman like me, who wants to try on clothes in an area where I know I won't encounter men if I step outside the cubicle to see how a garment moves when I walk, is now excluded from M&S.

There's evidence that when facilities are made unisex the number of sexual incidents goes up:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I think most ordinary men are horrified at the thought of unisex facilities. They're worried that they might cause offence or be mistakenly accused of predatory behaviour. On the other hand the changing rooms will be a magnet for all those men who get a transgressive thrill from going where they shouldn't and being just a few inches away from where a woman's changing her clothing.

I've contacted M&S and they just say they want to be inclusive and if anything happens to anyone in the changing room they'll take appropriate action. But why should anything inappropriate have to happen?

This year we're having guests for four days over Christmas and I would normally be spending at least £200 at M&S. This year I'll shop elsewhere instead. And I won't be buying gifts or clothes or home stuff from them either.

Will anyone join me in a boycott?

Why ever the need to seperate by sex first day I wonder, same with sport? If it really make no difference why did we ever have such a thing as sex segregation

YANBU. I've always gone to M&S for bra-fitting services and kids clothes, I wont be from now on. Hopefully I can find a decent local lingerie shop.

OP, if you go over to the feminism board, you’ll find nigh on a thousand women have already commented on this and loads of us are already boycotting M and S, cancelling accounts, insurance, shopping, the lot.
M and S were already struggling, and this suicide attempt by their “woke” marketing department will hasten their demise. Their core demographic is middle aged women- who do NOT want to share changing rooms with men.

There's so few staff around, that they'd be useless in the case of inappropriate behaviour. Totally with you on this. Shot themselves in the foot and alienated customers.

I don’t really mind for myself. I agree it’s a bit of a shame for people who do.

Yawn. This has already been done to death.

Personally I'll continue to buy their sultana cookies

Yanbu. I wouldn't feel comfortable about my teen dds in unisex changing rooms. They tend to go in with friends and all parade around having fun trying clothes on. Admittedly not in M&S but how long until the other stores follow suit.

YANBU. I would not feel safe in mixed sex changing rooms. I find it extraordinary that in 2019 woman have to put up with this. Does Harvey Weinstein need to be lurking in them for 20+ years to get something to change? Or shouldn't I just be allowed a preference as a woman?

There will still be a separate changing room for lingerie.. I asked in my local store. They also said feel free to try whatever you want on in there.

I am more surprised that anyone actually still shops in M and S... I stopped about twenty years ago, because of the horrendous decline in quality, and haven't missed it. Rather a shame, actually, as I could then have the satisfaction of boycotting them over this.

I think several generations of women who fought so hard for our rights must be spinning in their graves at how the current generation seems determined to erode them in the name of "inclusivity".

Let's be honest - female-presenting men who essentially lived their lives as women anyway will have always used female changing rooms without issues or questions. So this move is about opening up our spaces to those who "identify" as women yet make no attempt to "pass" as one: whilst I accept that not all those who fit into this category are doing it for predatory reasons, recent examples from eg women's prisons show us that predation of this nature is not unknown, and to buy in to its furtherance through this kind of ridiculous policy can only prove harmful - both to biological women and men who live their lives presenting as women (no matter their genitalia, as by and large, they've never been checked at the door to single sex facilities), who are also at risk from this kind of predator.

As a man, I continue to say this till I'm blue in the face - this decision by M&S is corporate suicide and just madness to appease people who are stomping on the rights of women.

M&S's core market do not want to be getting changed in front of / in the proximity of men.

The people M&S are trying to reach, don't even shop there.

When will this madness end..

I think they'll be processing loads more returns when people would rather buy 2 or three different sizes and return them because they dont want to try them on.
I certainly won't be using the changing rooms if that's the case. Especially when the curtains don't close properly anyway.
Bad move I think that'll cost them dearly.

@AryaStarkWolf That's a shit argument we used to segregate by race too.

@Picklypickles I'm slightly gutted, as I love their children's clothes as well.

Not so fussed about their bras (none of them fit me!)

Really hope M&S reconsider their policy, and maybe introduce a 3rd space for anyone trans/non-bonary/who doesn't care. Trans people should have a space that is more inclusive to them but this shouldn't come at the expense of women.

You get changed in a cubicle though, not outside? and bra fitting is in a cubicle as well? i’ve never seen anybody trying on underwear outside so the cubicle and would find that very odd. what is the problem?

Tbh I find it embarrassing just browsing around the underwear dept. There are alway, always men lurking around.
I have absolutely no idea why any man would be milling around watching women shop for underwear and think it's acceptable.
Its also very clear if they are shopping for a present for their wife/girlfriend themselves because they are looking at the underwear and then buying some. There are always some standing about watching the women.
I buy online these days and return.

The reason for separate places originally was because women were (are) at risk from a small minority of male sexual predators.

So rather than tackling the actual issue at that point, rape culture, patriarchy etc. Society thought it best to just limit the opportunity of sexual predators to commit offences.

The issue is not that there is too much acces to women and so let’s seperate them, it’s that (some) men perceive it as their right to physically dominate women, why on earth aren’t we focusing energy on addressing that?!!

I used to buy undies and trousers from there. Not anymore. I’m not having a bra fitting in a changing room to which men have access. I don’t want to discuss my breasts in earshot of a man, and I don’t much fancy being caught on some pervert’s hidden spy cam.

I also bought DS’ school uniform from there. Ah well, there are plenty of other retailers available, although finding one who respects single-sex spaces is getting harder.

I don’t care if their not even floor to ceiling doors lock, it’s not good enough. Women haven’t asked for this and most of us don’t want it. Making a tiny percentage of the population more comfortable, or as it’s also known, giving predators unfettered access to women and girls in a state of undress, is putting off large swathes of their female customers. I can’t imagine what my late nan would’ve made of this.

That's a shit argument we used to segregate by race too.

Is it? So there's no biological differences between male and female and all this time it was just sexism? or.......? So when male and female sports are combined (because there is no reason not to, right?) there will be an equal number of biologically female champions as male? yes? because after all sex segregation is exactly like race segregation? Good on, yeah my argument is shit

Personally it won't bother me . I rarely try things on (except shoes and coats and I just do this on the shop floor)

So if I go into the changing room, lock the door , put on Item I Plan To Buy , go out to swish about .................

I would walk about in public wearing it anyway so what's the difference ?

I will stay with M&S , I like their Vegan shoes .

Seeing as statistically more sex crimes occur in unisex changing cubicles bedrooms, I'll not be fucking using them.

Has anyone considered going into the male designated changing rooms? I presume they will be full of men who just want to try on clothes. I would never have a bra fitting at M&S again, tried to tell me I was a size I knew I was not and I ended up with a bra with underfilled cups that was so tight I couldn't breathe and had a big red mark all round me.

I think if they make the effort to put proper cubicles in (i.e. with solid, lockable doors) rather than curtains, there is no problem. The supermarkets near me ALL have unisex changing rooms with these kinds of cubicles and nobody has ever kicked off. It's only an issue now because it's changing. If it had always been that way, nobody would say a thing.

I don't think that many women will actually be put off by it, to be honest. Most fitting rooms have a member of staff there anyway, so it's not as if anything can go on with either a male harassing a female or the other way round.

@myself2020 You get changed in a cubicle though, not outside? and bra fitting is in a cubicle as well? i’ve never seen anybody trying on underwear outside so the cubicle and would find that very odd. what is the problem?

The problem is camera phones. Let's face it, no one would be arguing against this if there were floor to ceiling cubicles with a door and a lock. But it's all too easy to slip the lens of a mobile under or over the top of a cubicle. All to easy to pull open a flimsy curtain.

I do not believe anyone who can't see this issue is actually of sound mind.

Well the last time I had a bra fitting in M&S when I was heavily pregnant the fitter was in and out of the changing room looking for different bras several times, obviously whilst I was in various states of undress.