AIBU to want to boycott M&S?

[thatdamnwoman]

Marks & Spencer has made its changing rooms unisex because it is striving to be inclusive and it wants everyone to feel comfortable in whichever changing room they want. Which means that a woman like me, who wants to try on clothes in an area where I know I won't encounter men if I step outside the cubicle to see how a garment moves when I walk, is now excluded from M&S.

There's evidence that when facilities are made unisex the number of sexual incidents goes up:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I think most ordinary men are horrified at the thought of unisex facilities. They're worried that they might cause offence or be mistakenly accused of predatory behaviour. On the other hand the changing rooms will be a magnet for all those men who get a transgressive thrill from going where they shouldn't and being just a few inches away from where a woman's changing her clothing.

I've contacted M&S and they just say they want to be inclusive and if anything happens to anyone in the changing room they'll take appropriate action. But why should anything inappropriate have to happen?

This year we're having guests for four days over Christmas and I would normally be spending at least £200 at M&S. This year I'll shop elsewhere instead. And I won't be buying gifts or clothes or home stuff from them either.

Will anyone join me in a boycott?

Privacy is not just about being seen or spied on. It's also about being heard or listened to. It's about the possibility of a man, any man, in the next cubicle in the lingerie fitting room who can hear every word of a conversation I'm having with the assistant about cup size, fullness, lace, bra styles.

I'm not comfortable with that. And I'm a reasonably self-assured middle -aged woman. It's not difficult to imagine women who for reasons of youth, age, religion, or trauma would find that distressing or even impossible.

No I think
I’ll join you.

They have stated that the will continue to have lingerie fitting rooms which are ladies only. Additionally all fitting rooms have a door and the lingerie ones have a door and a curtain (so the bra fitter can be in there but you are still on your own to change).
Whilst I completely disagree with it I won’t stp shopping there if they have something I want.
I think they should just go back to the old days where they had a decent refund policy and no fitting rooms so you just bought what you wanted and took back anything which didn’t fit!!

Yes I joined the other women boycotting the second I heard this announced this morning.

Have already informed friends and family that I won't accept any Christmas gifts purchased from M&S either.

I’m very annoyed with them, they have lost me as a customer.

I was so annoyed last week that I wanted to stick a fuck you, I’m not spending here sticker on the door.

Can someone produce them? I’d love to make the point every time I would have spent money in store.

I find it very disappointing indeed that M&S won't listen to women.

They are having a really bad time on the High Street for so many reasons and this is one of them - it goes wider. You can't rely on them for good basics and when they have something you want, you find it is sold out in all the common sizes before you even see it.

And where are all the arse-covering cotton knickers? Just a few dreary ones.

Picklypickles

YANBU. I've always gone to M&S for bra-fitting services and kids clothes, I wont be from now on. Hopefully I can find a decent local lingerie shop.

I won’t use them for these services either.

It's very easy to boycott M&S, their range of clothes had me boycotting from the mid 90s.

The food is just expensive, no better than an average supermarket IMO.

Oh, and I always come out of changing rooms when I'm trying clothes on, to get a better view, another persons opinion, a hand with a zip....I don't know anyone who doesn't.

They have stated that the will continue to have lingerie fitting rooms which are ladies only

Where have they stated this? What do they mean by 'ladies only'?

I have emailed M&S and spoken to my local store. It is very clear from both responses that they allow men into the lingerie fitting rooms. They will try to persuade them to use the menswear changing rooms but if they are 'insistent' they will allow them into the lingerie fitting room for the purpose of trying on women's underwear.

Why would you refuse to measure a man for a bra?

Because most men who want women to measure them for bras are doing so for fetishistic reasons.

Women are allowed to not consent to being part of men's sexual fetishes as a part of their job.

Well not all of us have a lot of choice when it comes to lingerie shops and fitting services, no Bravissimo's anywhere near me :-(

I have posted my response to M&S on the other thread, taking clothing back and speaking to the manger.

I was told by her the bra fitting area would only be open to women, when asked how they propose to stop men demanding to use those cubicles due to the new policy, no answer was forthcoming. i also asked if signage would be put up explaining the use of changing rooms, again no answer

Shot themselves in the foot with this, good call in the run up to Christmas.

We have been boycotting M&S ever since 3 male staff members kicked my DP's bathroom cubicle door in while he was using their facilities.

He was out shopping with his DBF (best friend), both were using the facilities. DP was using the cubicle and his DBF was in the main bathroom area at the sinks when they entered and kicked the door in demanding he leave the shop. He had been a loyal customer for years and was shocked.

He filmed everything once out the cubicle. The manager (found out later he wasnt) first accused him of theft, which was absurd considering they walked into the shop straight to the facilities first before shopping, then he back tracked and actually accused them of conducting possible unsavory business in the toilet

DP has the absurd accusations on film along with their inability to justify or explain, the staff refusing to get a manager when DP asked, and was marched out the shop in front of other customers being accused of all sorts then shoulder barged by the staff member who falsely claimed to be a manager.

DP thinks the staff member realised he messed up big time so was trying to provoke him into a physical altercation to deflect. DP didnt bite tho, left and made a formal complaint to the CEO.

The explanation from M&S was even more baffling than the actual event!

M&S will go under if they pursue this policy much further. They have alienated their customer base and three generations of women in my family alone are boycotting their shops over this offensive and female exclusionary nonsense. Mixed sex loos will finish them and I do not doubt that these are coming to your local M&S soon.

And for all of those stating that if there is a lockable cubicle then where's the issue I completely agree. Where IS the issue for men in dresses to get changed in the men's changing rooms if these cubicles are so safe? Hmm?

One of the reasons trans women use the female toilets is that they were getting attacked/abused in the male toilets.

Evidence please...

How silly.

I thought this was going to be about Israel, but it's another bloody thread about trans women.

Steve Rowe, and the Chairman, are fully aware of this debacle btw, and not stopping it. Who and what are they afraid of?

Both their offices are churning out the standard cut and paste replies about 'comfortable' feelings of men mattering most.

Phil - it's a thread about M&S making their changing rooms mixed sex. Which neither men nor women want to happen.

I've started. Parked in a M&S food carpark, one where you pay but the money is taken off if you buy in store. I would normally think of a few things I needed, go in and then buy a whole lot more things I did not need.

Nah, walked off and picked up a few bits in Lidl next day.

Thing is. It does not matter whether they have lockable doors, or whatever, or whether I am unreasonable in not wanting my privacy eroded. My interest, when choosing where to shop, is to find somewhere I feel comfortable. I doubt M&S consulted women. I am pretty certain M&S consulted Stonewall either directly or someone who is sympathetic to Stonewall's lobbying aims.

I do not feel comfortable using organisations that are not concerned about the comfort and safety of women and children, especially vulnerable women and children. Nah, if they don't consult us, it is clear they don't want our custom.

Their clothes are grim, but I did buy tights, boots (the one thing I will miss), occasional knickers, and food. DH spends more as he buys most of his work wardrobe there, plus some typical dad leisure wear. I think he gets it, and is prepared to join me. Luckily I think DD gets that firms who try to be woke are just uncool, so even less reason to check it out for her hospital placement clothing.

i also asked if signage would be put up explaining the use of changing rooms, again no answer

Because they know if they make it explicit with a 'mixed sex' or more likely 'gender neutral' sign then women will avoid it in droves. They might not say anything but they will avoid it.

So they do it by stealth, hoping we women won't notice and if we do, we won't make a fuss. Cos we're not that important and are used to putting ourselves second and making everyone else feel better.

Too late M&S. The cat is out of the bag.