AIBU to want to boycott M&S?

[thatdamnwoman]

Marks & Spencer has made its changing rooms unisex because it is striving to be inclusive and it wants everyone to feel comfortable in whichever changing room they want. Which means that a woman like me, who wants to try on clothes in an area where I know I won't encounter men if I step outside the cubicle to see how a garment moves when I walk, is now excluded from M&S.

There's evidence that when facilities are made unisex the number of sexual incidents goes up:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I think most ordinary men are horrified at the thought of unisex facilities. They're worried that they might cause offence or be mistakenly accused of predatory behaviour. On the other hand the changing rooms will be a magnet for all those men who get a transgressive thrill from going where they shouldn't and being just a few inches away from where a woman's changing her clothing.

I've contacted M&S and they just say they want to be inclusive and if anything happens to anyone in the changing room they'll take appropriate action. But why should anything inappropriate have to happen?

This year we're having guests for four days over Christmas and I would normally be spending at least £200 at M&S. This year I'll shop elsewhere instead. And I won't be buying gifts or clothes or home stuff from them either.

Will anyone join me in a boycott?

YANBU to boycott any store you wish to do so. Equally others of us are not being unreasonable to co it ue to shop there and, gasp, use their changing rooms

Why would you refuse to measure a man for a bra?

Why would you need to measure a man for a bra?

OP, if you go over to the feminism board, you’ll find nigh on a thousand women have already commented on this and loads of us are already boycotting M and S, cancelling accounts, insurance, shopping, the lot

@Babdoc - OP is one of the FWR posters already boycotting M&S and urging others each to persuade another 5 people or so also to boycott M&S

Won't be boycotting. Hopefully this short term boycott which will soon be forgotten about come mid December means that it'll be easier to get my hands on all the lovely Xmas food

Do what you like. I’ll carry on shopping at M&S. Not bothered in the slightest.

I don't actually object to a man being in the cubicle next to me getting measured for a bra. But I do object to a man being in the cubicle next to me casually trying on a pair of trousers.

Lingerie changing rooms are vulnerable - you're more exposed and there's a lot of personal chat about which breast is bigger than the other, whether you're looking for a practical bra or a sexy bra, whether this bra gives you a better silhouette than the other one... I think you should only be in a lingerie changing room if you wear bras yourself.

Mind you, I think M&S are shit at fitting bras and have been shopping at Bravissimo for years, so this doesn't really affect me.

I wonder what % of people actually want unisex changing rooms? I know many blokes who would feel uncomfortable because they would be worried about making the women uncomfortable. So a sort of lose-lose situation all round.

Yes if they had the bollocks to openly state that their changing rooms were mixed sex I would be less pissed off (but still not shop there any more). It is the deceitful way that they have gone about this which is so appalling.

With so many high street stores closing for various reasons I think this is a bad move for M&S . They will lose a loyal customer base in favour of internet shopping . Not everyone wants shared facilities. Victims of abuse sexual and mental mental abuse. People who simply want same sex changing facilities. Bad move M&S

If they really cared about all peoples feelings they would put in a 3rd changing room that is unisex. Surely it only needs to be a single room because actual trans people are a minority and probably don't shop in m and s anyway.

Boycotts never last more than a few weeks.

I couldn't care less who is changing in an enclosed cubicle next to me.

One of the reasons trans women use the female toilets is that they were getting attacked/abused in the male toilets

This is total made up rubbish. It's simply not true.

I don't shop in M&S, I never have. My 75 year old mum does. She would be utterly mortified to be in a unisex changing room, in fact she would leave the store altogether. I guess that's ok though, fuck women as long as a few men are happy.

Surely it only needs to be a single room because actual trans people are a minority and probably don't shop in m and s anyway.

Yes, minority groups should be separated from the rest of us. Said no decent human ever.

Boycotts never last more than a few weeks

Speak for yourself.
I haven't shopped in H&M or Topshop since I decided to boycott.

If H&M or Topshop or M&S went back and reversed their decision tomorrow they still would never ever see my custom again because they have shown their true colours to me and demonstrated they are happy to shit all over the welfare of women.

I completely agree Haunted - and the poster who claimed this could not substantiate it. It is made up manipulative crap to coerce women to feel bad enough to let men in to our safe spaces.

That's not what I meant and you know it but the other option is fuck woman because men want access to their changing rooms? Why should woman who have been abused/raped etc have to share a changing room with men just cause they want to? What about women from certain religions? It would make a lot of them very uncomfortable. You could have 3 changing rooms, female, Male and unisex. Inclusive for everyone.

I wrote to Marks and Spencer last night about their decision to allow transmen into the changing rooms that they feel most comfortable in, i.e. the women's changing room.

For every genuine man with gender dysphoria who is desperately trying to fit in, how many others will be predatory chancers, using the opportunity to get into the women's changing room to harass, scare or just spy on women. Or worse.

Their response included the ludicrous suggestion that if a woman feels that a trans man behaves inappropriately they will be asked to leave or action will be taken. Maybe I'm missing something here but if a man is behaving inappropriately, surely the woman has, by this time been exposed to that behaviour, whatever it may be. A bit late at that point. And what about the assistant responsible for the changing room, there is potential for some nasty situations.

I wonder if their stance will change after the first assault on a woman on their premises.

Yes, minority groups should be separated from the rest of us. Said no decent human ever.

Men are not a minority group and men are being told that if they feel more 'comfortable' in the women's changing rooms then in they go. What kind of man do you think will take advantage of an offer like this? Clue - it will not be the decent, respectful ones.

Yes, minority groups should be separated from the rest of us. Said no decent human ever.

Indeed. Vulnerable women, those who are elderly, those from minority religions, those with learning disabilities, those who have been victims of sexual violence should indeed not be separated from society because a handful of male people, who are no less likely to be predators than any other male people, don't like using the male facilities, where there is no evidence they are at any increased risk, that have been set aside for males like them.

You could have 3 changing rooms, female, Male and unisex. Inclusive for everyone.

Agree. Why is it so hard for people to understand this?

So not many then as the vast majority of men aren’t predators.🙄

accused them of conducting possible unsavory business in the toilet

Rather ironic Baubles, when they are setting up changing rooms all over the country as a giant WankFest.

And I can promise you now you'll get nowhere by complaining - I had a fall on the way to the toilets - the staff member wouldn't let me go to the loo so I wet myself. THEN she let me go, grabbed my bag as I went in (I know - but I'd really given myself a crack and was dizzy) on the grounds that she would "look after it for me". The I came out she was hidden around a corner - I couldn't find her - and I'm certain had been through my bag.

I complained to the head office - told them to check their cameras. The woman who replied said that she had been told that the security film didn't;t show anything like I'd described (ie my fall, this woman taking over me, me pissing myself, being escorted to the toilets etc). I asked whether she'd seen it herself - and guess what? No she hadn't - the store manager had assured her that I was telling porkies and I had really upset the staff member involved (I'd seen her badge name). I asked for copies of the tape (gave date, time, department etc) And then another surprising thing - the tape had been overwritten and couldn't be viewed again.

I was sent a £25 voucher which I gave to our church raffle as I had no intentions of setting foot in that place again (though I broke that resolve twice because I've been in for the toilet.)

Even before this debacle I wasn't shopping there.

No, you are definitely not being unreasonable.

I will not be giving M&S a penny of my money until they reverse this policy and make their female spaces safe for women and girls again. Sex segregation exists for many extremely important reasons. Many of which have been set out in great detail on the relevant threads discussing this policy (see Feminism/Women’s rights topics).

I live 5 minutes away from a big M&S store and I have had five separate occasions this week where I would have gone there to buy multiple things I needed - It is my go-to shop in almost every instance. I have driven clear across town on each of those five occasions to avoid buying from them and supporting this contemptible action,

I, my OH, and three other individuals of our extended family will no longer be doing any shopping with them, nor purchasing any affiliate products or services from them. I personally am going to boycott them until they clearly and definitively state, publicly, that this policy has been abandoned, and I will also continue boycotting them after that (if indeed they do come to their senses) for three times the length of time that they kept up their support of this insanity.

Those of you who wish to know why this matters so much, please do read the threads on M&S.

Boycotts never last more than a few weeks.

Damage to brand image lasts ages. Think Ratners. I stopped shopping at Benetton decades ago as I did not like their increasingly controversial posters. M&S no longer feels like a cosy reliable British institution, with food a special treat. It has revealed itself to be run by a male boys club who don't care about women's views or concerns, especially if the woke bros at Stonewall tell them that it is ok to ignore women in pursuit of "equality".

I am so not bothered by this. The M&S Outlet I shop at has mixed changing cubicles - and you know it NEVER occured to me before this was publicised. These are solid wall cubicles, with a solid locking door.