Help please guys re family court

[looondonn]

Sorry to post here I just want as much help as possible

Have other threads on here re leaving an abusive man with my 7 week old daughter after he tried to kill me

Now live with my family in N Ireland

He has gone to family court and filed for me to attend a sitting in London in a few weeks

My daughter and I live away from there as we had to flee the abuse

Police investigation is on going can some one please help me with this

My solicitor was under the impression if he wanted to do anything he would have to apply to the family court in N Ireland
I do not want this evil man having unsupervised acesss as he has hurt me many times in front of her and put us both in hospital

What may happen next guys
Please please help
Please

Thanks all

If I sound harsh it's because I'm worried about you, OP. You seem to be all over the place and to deal with this you're going to have to almost clinically detach, get an overview, and start to deal with the threat he poses, and any threats he may make against you and your relatives, in a methodical manner. You can't afford to be emotional as you need a clear head at all times.

You first posted on Monday and it's now Friday which is plenty of time for the court/jurisdiction issue to have been resolved by your solicitor taking the appropriate action and relieving you of any need to talk to an English solicitor who, unfortunately, also seems not to be clued up on what needs to be done.

This is also a source of worry as you will need a solicitor who's totally on the ball to refute his claim for joint custody if it should come before the Northern Ireland courts.

You are absolutely right
I agree

Just can't help being really really petrified

Your help has been very much appreciated

You wouldn't be human if you weren't scared, but any fears you have must be put to one side and you've got to put on a warrior woman outfit to protect your dd.

Metaphorically speaking, you're going to have to wait until you see the whites of his eyes to shoot and that can be scary as you'll have your finger on the trigger with no guarantee that your aim will be true - but you'll stand more chance of hitting the target if you don't tremble.

Yes
Damn right 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

Op I really feel for you but you need to fill in the paperwork as MrsBertBibby and DonKeyshot have explained.
There is nothing more important right now.
Fill out the paperwork tonight do it a bit at a time over the weekend and post it first thing Monday to the Court Address on your documents Registered Signed for First Class.

DO NOT go to England because you will then have to go to England time and time again. Every time he wants to drag you into court.
You may think you do not have the power to stop this but believe me you do.

Op .. I don’t have any great advice except never worry about changing solicitors who is experienced in these matters.

My abusive ex took me to court. He lied about no dv, safety concerns drink or drugs on court papers . I said this to Cafcass . She said she knew he hadn’t had supervised contact for no reason .

She also had info from Ss and the police before she even spoke to me.

Oh dear lord !!

Thank you !!
I will get in contact with another solicitor also as it would have helped massively to hear back from my solicitor sooner !! Especially as I have had so many questions (which many of you very kindly helped me with )

I will get through this
That much I know
Xxxxx

Will let you know what I hear this week

Thanks all xxx

OP why on earth haven't you had this thread moved as per advice up thread?

£300 per hour for my solicitor
Potentially looking at a bill for at least 3k in order to help me
She is very good thankfully

Just feel so angry with this whole system
I have done nothing wrong

How do I move this thread Mumsnet?
Is there a section to move it to?
I know others suggested this I just been feeling really overwhelmed

Read the dm I sent you re how to go about moving this thread and where to move it to, or read my instructions re how to request mumsnet to move it on p.6.

What is the £3,000 for and how much of it is the cost of seeing off his application because the English court does not have jurisdiction in the matter?

Thank you for the reply
I tried to report the thread also

So it seems the estimate so far for at least 10 hours of work
Going through paperwork
Calls
Travel to court
Represent at case

All for a 30 minute hearing to hopefully get it all dismissed

Should I try to do this myself?
I said to solicitor I do not wish to go but will consider being placed in different room so I do not need to see him

Go easy on me please as I am not ok right now and very confused

All the advice here has been great and helped massively
I think solicitor is wonderful just bloody expensive and I have not got any savings or extra Invome as the c**t doesn't support my child
😢😢😢

Meeting with them next week

Travel to court??!! Represent at case??!! Wtf!

This is ridiculous. And there is absolutely NO WAY you should contemplate attending this hearing.

The most you'll be offered is a screen so you don't have to see his face, but that won't protect you on your way in and out of the court building and there's a far greater danger in that if you go the court it may decide it has jurisdiction and you'll be going backwards and forwards until the matter is concluded.

Have you returned the C7 Acknowledgement of Service?

Hello

Yes I agree
But I also don't want to get in trouble or give this man ammunition against me

So far have got good advice on here but when I ring solicitor when I speak to agencies to support me many of them say well it could be that I need to attend

I will need to ask that solicitor can hopefully get a video link
I don't know how else to do that
Solicitor told me not to send any forms back
At 300 per hour I hope I am being guided in the right way

Please go easy on me as I do not have many to talk to about this
And yes I will get this thread deleted

Ffs don't get this thread deleted until we've sorted this issue.

At £300 an hour (which is not expensive by London standards) I would hope you are being guided in the right way but it seems to me that the solicitors you have been consulting have little experience of jurisdiction issues, most probably because they're used to appearing in the N. Ireland courts on matters related to the Province.

There is no need for your solicitor to appear on your behalf in an English family court. The C7 needs to be returned urgently as per MrsBertBibby's advice so that the court can organise a video link if necessary.

I would hope it wouldn't be necessary as the C7 should be returned with a covering letter setting out the facts of the matter such as the date you returned to live with your family in N.Ireland, that you did so because of the applicant's violence towards you and that, in view of the above, you respectfully submit that an English court has no jurisdiction in this matter.

If the court wishes to hear further it will arrange a video or telephone link at which your solicitor can, if necessary, argue your case although, again, I would have thought this won't be necessary as the court should accept your submission and dismiss the applicant's case.

Frankly, I think you'd be best advised to hang on to your £3 grand and make your own submission by returning the C7 with a covering letter as advised above.

I would hope that will be the end of it, but if not the court will advise re video or telephone link. As the hour is getting late I dashed off the above for the sake of your beauty sleep and now see that after 'respectfully submit that an English court has no jurisdiction in this matter' the addition of 'but, nevertheless. my legal representative can be made available to the court by telephone or video link as and if required'.

I assume the hearing is next week and urge you to get this in hand asap. On receipt of a letter such as the one drafted above, the court will not proceed to the hear the applicant's case until it has satisfied itself on the matter of jurisdiction.

Ok thanks so so much

I think they have been taking their time with this as he accused me of abusing him and for child abduction
Both obv untrue

So just to reiterate
Hopefully
I hope that I myself will be able to return the form and outline all the reasons and then as a result this will be dismissed and then the abuser if he wants can then move this to the correct jurisdiction???

The fear of this all is causing me such flipping confusion
Sorry to appear to be so dim

The advice I got in here is amazing and I got similar advice on the phone with free agencies who support DV victims
The solicitors advice has not been that clear YET

I just don't want to pay thousands in it is the case that this can be resolved be a) me sending the form b) explaining clearly everything and c) for the abuser to then apply to the correct court???

Sorry guys for being dim here :(

In other words, for the price of a stamp plus the cost of sending the documents recorded next day delivery (if you have this service in N.Ireland) you can at the very least buy time and at best have his case dismissed.

You are an absolute angel by the way

Thank you

I know I have said it before but this has helped so so much

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Get this clear in your head: if the English court dismisses his application for want of jurisdiction, he can't 'move this (the case) to the correct jurisdiction'. In effect he will have to start over with a new application, made as if the earlier one didn't exist, to a N. Ireland court.

As your case is that the English court has no jurisdiction as you/your child are domiciled in N.Ireland and have been for the last x months, or year and x months, there's no need to address any of the claims he has made in his application .

Give me 24 hours and I will draft a letter for you which should not be deviated from - i.e it's to be sent as is without any additions which could serve to muddy the water such as allegations of abuse etc as it seems to me that these are clouding the issue. However, I will need to dm you to get exact dates etc but I don't and won't require your name/address or other detail that could be identifying.

Fantastic thank you

How can I DM you
Sorry total idiot here

Thank you all for your kindness

Was worried all day about solicitors fees
Can barely afford to buy my child Xmas presents let alone pay all these fees

Love to all who helped me in the last 30 months of utter hell 🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Click on My Mumsnet top right, click on Inbox and click on new message.

Will pay these good deeds forward ASAP ❤️❤️❤️

On my phone