Do you ever wonder why people don't have children

[Moominfan]

I'll just get my hard hat ready. I never ever say or indicate this out-loud hence why I'm posting on a online Internet forum. But if I come across someone of a certain age, I wonder what the reasons are. I was adamant at one in my life I'd never have kids and I know someone people never change their minds. Not everyone wants children, never happened for them ect. List goes on. It just crosses my mind and wonder if anyone else ever shared this thought.

Did@Sugarandspiceandallthat really use the phrase ‘making memories’? 😂 hashtag pathetic.

She certainly did. She also told us about her tight sexy body. 😂. Shame she doesn’t appear to want to join in today. I was finding her entertaining.

She #madememories for me.

My finger isn’t really on the pulse these days. Making memories is just going out and doing stuff isn’t is?

Lots of people saying they wonder why people do have children. It’s a funny line but I don’t think it’s actually true.

I can assure you it is true. I question this every day when I’m on MN. So many stressed and unhappy mothers posting who have either been left holding the baby, literally, or are with useless, selfish men who think their only commitment to having children is ejaculation. Truly, I question every day, where on earth is the joy and fulfilment that mother’s tell us were missing out on?

You can wonder to yourself as much as you like, but its wrong to speculate and would be incredibly bad manners to ask.

Mothers. The rogue apostrophe that spellcheck inserted can fuck off.

People say you can never really understand how draining tiring worrying and difficult it is having children until you have them,but I think you can get a good idea, and that's why some of us choose not to.

Nope not really.

I assume that:

• They can't have any

• Haven't found a suitable partner

• Don't want any

I'd never ask though.

Having children is such a huge deal, such an irreversible, life changing decision that unless a person is absolutely certain they want it, they shouldn't do it.
It's absolutely astonishing that the default stance is to have children, and to choose not to is the controversial choice.
It's a huge, expensive decision that cannot be undone - Having children should be an "opt-in" choice, not an "opt-out" one.

If you didn’t want them at one stage then it cannot be that much of a stretch of the imagination.

Yes, I wonder.

I often wonder about things which are none of my business.

Doesn't mean I would dream of asking them, neither am I wondering from a judgmental perspective. I often wonder why people make the decisions they do in all aspects of life.

I'm more mystified by women who seem to need to have a child with every loser with whom they hook up.

I drove past a couple today with young DC in a buggy. They were literally roaring obscenities to each other while the little ones sat there helplessly. I did have a wonder about why they had kids.

DSDs mum, DPs ex, is now pregnant with number 3, all to different dads. She’s already up to her eyeballs in debt, has an Iva, minimum wage topped up with benefits.

Dad 1 - affair with married man, he ended it when she was pregnant and moved abroad. No maintenance and doesn’t see / acknowledge the boy.

Dad 2 - now my DP, 40/60 custody and pays maintenance for his child only. He wasn’t married when he met her.

Dad 3 - another married one who can’t acknowledge her or the child for religious reasons.

I have wondered if getting pregnant to married men (twice) is an attempt at trapping them and getting them to leave their wives (didn’t work the 1st time and hasn’t worked this time). Either that or she just had some kind of hole in her life that she’s trying to fill with children. I do wonder why she is having 3 children though, more than I wonder why some people don’t have children.

Nope - I’m really not that interested in the lives of other people!

No. I have no interest. The reasons are limited anyway.
Can’t or didn’t want.

It has never occurred to me to wonder. I do have friends who are child free by either choice or circumstance though (some I know why because they’ve shared; some I have no idea), so it’s not something I’d think was unusual.

@Mackerz sounds very familiar

SIL had 3 children by 3 different men within 3 years.
She's always talking about being skint, is on benefits (fraudulently - claiming to live separately from BIL to get more), is often complaining about her body (which has been significantly impacted by 3 pregnancies so close together) and moans at length about not having enough time.

She also judges me very harshly for not having children.

Dad 2 - now my DP, 40/60 custody and pays maintenance for his child only. He wasn’t married when he met her.

Hold up. Is he dad and an uncle in one?😮 That can't be easy situation

I think we all know someone who gets pregnant without a single thought about its impact.
Tbh I think the stigma around abortions doesn't help either, but that's for a different discussion...

@safety

No, he’s a Dad to his daughter, my DSD.

His ex (DSD’s mum) has another boy, older than DSD who isn’t my DPs son and a third child on the way, who also isn’t DPs child.

Not really.

I don't have an issue with being asked if I know the person well - it's rude coming from a stranger. I don't go around asking people why they decided to have unprotected sex!

I don't have kids because I didn't want them, I'm infertile anyway and would have needed significant medical assistance to get pregnant. I like my life as it is. I love kids - and am lucky to have lots of nieces, nephews and godchildren in my life - I just didn't feel that I wanted to have my own.

I'm almost 20 years on from my decision not to have kids and am now perimenopausal, so at almost 41 I'm pretty much out of time anyway! I've always taken the view that I'd rather regret not having had kids, than regret having had them.

@PenguinBollard

3 children is a luxury these days. Unless you are high earners then 3 children will make you skint!

@Mackerz sorry! I mixed up yours and Penguin's post in my head
Created a little JK show here