To be told it wouldn't be good to go for an afternoon meal with my 6 week old

[Coconutbug]

Its my friends birthday next week and she wants to go out for a Sunday roast. The place she has chosen has a children menu.
She has just text me to ask if I'm coming because they need to put down a deposit.
I haven't seen any of this group of friends since before baby was born through one reason or another. None of them have children.
I have a 6 week old exclusively breast fed baby and I said yes I can come but will need to bring baby and pram.
Her response I'd love to see you and meet baby but I don't think that will be good because it's an upmarket place.

Granted it is quite fancy but if it has a children's menu it doesn't make me think twice about taking a baby.

AIBU???

The entitlement is clearly that you should be able to take your kid where ever irrelevant of whether friends wish a child free event. That's the stench of entitlement that posters are referring to.

You mean 180. If you go 360 you end up facing the same direction as you were before.

I'm always quite surprised how many people don't know that 360 is a complete circle...

Are you Bluntness quite surprised at everything!

I thought it was quite funny, oh well you pedants.

Its really not entitlement to be expected that you will be with your new baby. It would be odd to be expected to separated from your new baby.

Actually yes quite a lot surprises me on here. 🤣

I'm shite a maths, even failed my o level, but even I know there's 360 degrees in a circle, so if you do a 360 then you do a full circle and come back to your original position. If you do 180 then you end up in the opposite position.

It's a really really common mistake people make though.

I don't get why it's funny to say she'll do a 360 when you mean a 180. But if you think it's funny, ok.

Its really not entitlement to be expected that you will be with your new baby. It would be odd to be expected to separated from your new baby.

Its entitlement to believe that because you have a baby, everyone else plans should always be around you.

'It would be odd to be expected to separated from your new baby.'

Bloody hell

I must have been well odd then.

It just seems weird to me. Like oh no our friend might talk about her baby or being a mum!!! So? Another friend might talk about her recent trip to Thailand, should we maybe not invite her either? And what if our other friend won't stop going on about her recent promotion at work??? Maybe we should set an agenda of things we're allowed to talk about??

Talking about changing group dynamics but if you can't just relax and have a laugh with your mates cos there's a baby there, then you probably have some weird friendship dynamics going on already tbh

Don't you think the new baby may take the limelight away from your friend and her birthday celebration. Remember, not everyone loves your or anyone elses baby.YABU.

She's not a dick, a bell end or any of the other insults people are throwing her way.

This!!

There was a point during the difficulties we had conceiving DS that being around a new mum with a 6 week old and all my friends cooing and fussing over them both would've absolutely broken me.

Nobody knows why she doesn't want a baby there but the reasons are moot anyway - her birthday her prerogative to want adults only.

@PurpleDaisies it’s not about the meal becoming all about the baby. I see it as a chance for everyone to get together again and the new baby is part of that at the moment.

I can honestly say it wouldn’t occur to me to try and exclude a baby. I’d be happy for my friend and have a ‘more the merrier’ approach. One of my closet friends had her first child about 4 years before the rest of us and we would never have excluded her from a lunch. We were all really excited to meet her too.

It seems really OTT of a grown woman to not invite a baby because she thinks it might steal the thunder on her birthday.

One of my closet friends had her first child about 4 years before the rest of us and we would never have excluded her from a lunch. We were all really excited to meet her too.

Why wouldn’t you organise a specific “meet the baby” get together rather than commandeering someone’s birthday for it? Then the people who are up for that can attend and those who don’t can skip it.

@annelovesgilbert I don’t know why they haven’t met the OPs baby yet but if they are close friends I’m sure they would want to.

You think I care what you think Bluntness

Grow up fgs

Ellie ffs what a pile of shite

I have no words to those who attempted to define this as discrimination and compared it to racism, just abhorrent.

As for you OP, you can't like this friend much as you've not even once asked people to stop the nasty words being spoken about her and defend her, despite you claiming you also understand her point. Some friend you are..

If you had some decency, perhaps ask this thread to be deleted, your friend has been unfairly called disgusting names and she has not even done anything wrong.

I'm failing to understand your stance, surely you knew life would change when you had children? Unfortunately, you cannot attend everything and no one is obligated to socialise with your children either. Some times having your children present is more than welcome, and others not so much. There will be times where your children can attend, yet you still will not be able to go, and times where they cannot and if you cannot accommodate alternative arrangements, it is certainly fine to decline, you would not be wrong in doing so.

This entire thing has become more than it ever was and it is just shocking to have read some of the arrogant and ignorant posts here.

Imagine if your friend wrote a thread about you over such a non-issue and they allowed you to be verbally abused online over it.

NEVER in public like they do these days

Those damn modern women “whipping it out” and nourishing their infants. Shameless hussies. Let’s hope it never catches on...

There are two definitions of discrimination ... the legal definition which directly references racism, and the dictionary definition which often doesn't. Whoever compared this situation to racism is clearly wrong; however, it is fair to state that it is a form of discrimination according to the dictionary definition.

I still can’t believe there are nutters on here using the word discrimination. It’s highly offensive to those who have actually faced discrimination.

Let me help you out seeing as you can't be bothered to google it.
www.collinsdictionary.com/amp/english/discrimination
Discrimination is the practice of treating one person or group of people less fairly or less well than other people or groups.
No specifics about race, sex etc.
Discrimination is not always about race, sex, etc. except in a legal context.

It's not discrimination .

She was invited. Her baby was not.

She, understandably, is choosing not to go.

And she wasnt treated less favourably. No one is bringing kids. It just so happens she is the only that has them.

@ferrier I posted the government definition a few pages back, I did google it. It’s still not discrimination.

She was invited, the logistics meant she couldn’t go. She was disappointed but understood. Not discrimination.

Coconutbug dont take it to heart, your friends probably dont get it?your the only one at the moment with a baby,dont think you will miss much apart from a nice Sunday Roast lol,remember this though when they have babies!!!!
Enjoy every minute with your Babba