Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

[Beaverdam]

We were discussing this in work the other day. I really dont care about sharing toilets with males but some of the other women are really annoyed about the idea.

Are you annoyed about this? If so, what isit that you dont like about it? Do you think that the men will perve?

Or in a store of shopping centre loos - off the back of the car park with crap lighting and no attendants? Or like the ones in the basement of my office block (open the the public) off a corridor where the drinks and junkies come in to sleep it off/shoot up?

My DH went into a mixed sex toilet when we were in a restaurant last week, and was confronted with a man on the lav with the door wide open! He said it wasn't a pretty sight.

to the poster who said the females are like a social area. What is all that about? I go in, piss, wash hands and go. I don’t hang around in my toilet at home, so why in public toilets? I don’t want to stand round hearing people piss and fart. Just why do you do it?

The poster was a man, who assumes that women spend ages in the loo because we are gossiping/makeuping, not realising that we are in fact queueing.

Queueing is another thing.

Won't men get all inpatient when they have to queue in an unisex loo?
It's a lot quicker in the men's.

The poster was me XXcstatic, and no assumption it is my actual experience of mixed toilets. I am aware women have to queue much more than men, I have spent a shocking amount of time in pubs over the years. With mixed toilets and no urinals everyone loses. I have never met a man who likes mixed toilets and would be very suspicious of any who do. Most men's toilets are grim as very little is spent on them, I have been in women's toilets ( as part of my work!) that are like palaces compared to the men's.

Awful. Awful Awful. possibly dangerous.At the very least makes women vulnerable.

Yes I am bothered. We do share at work - a small office - and both men and women are bothered.

I am also bothered in bars etc - when I've used them recently (eg in pret and a bar, apart from the privacy aspect, safety, men-in-my-space elements, etc etc, they were in a disgusting state. Vile.

It wasn't an assumption though. It's not always about a queue. Females standing around, chatting away with each other. Go back in an hour later and they haven't moved. Still there faffing, chatting and getting in the way.

Why?

I don't stand around either waiting for friends to come out. I wait outside near the entrance or wherever. But then I am not the type that I need to drag my mates to the toilet every time I want to pee. Although unisex toilets, and the ones in really dodgy areas, I understand why no-one wants to go in alone.

I wouldn't mind them if they have the sink and dryer in the cubicle.

Talking to some of the men at work, they have no illusions about why some men would like to hang around ladies toilets. Many women are quite naive about this, but the guys at work hear how some men talk about women when in male only company and are deeply sceptical about the motives of men (including men in dresses) who want unisex facilities.

Of course, the motives are very questionable.
Who wants to use facilities that are not catered for their needs, when there is a suitable place next door?

For years, trans, crossdressers, etc have discreetly using spaces without paying attention to themselves. Without wanting to erode rights. We should be questioning why men want to come into female spaces.

Because they are unisex isn't a reason. They aren't. Many just have a label stuck over the original men/woman labels. If he wants to sit down to piss or whatever, he can go into the mens.

What about when these guys start complaining that their feelz are hurt because they now have to look at the sanitary bins. If you think that won't happen think again.

And you are now left with nowhere to go.

Women know your place. It's at home. Think about it.

It might not happen (pmsl) but why are we prepared to take that chance?

How many misogynist bosses would take full advantage to push out female employees? Knowing if they remove the bin, females will have to call in sick or seek a toilet elsewhere for menstrual reasons. And boom, they are gone and replaced by males. Because you really think that if the legal rights are taken away, anyone will care that she had to leave because of a lack of bin?

It's already happening by stealth. And not really wanting to bring Brexit into it, but wasn't that also the point? To get rid of some of our rights?

I am not ok with it. I don't see why women should be put in a very vulnerable position to appease the very very small minority that want this.

Why is the safety of 50% of the population not being taken into consideration?

My nickname is Miss Demestos; I want clean toilets and not bothered who I share them with. But I do expect men not to wee on the floor!! I also like to have a washbasin in the cubicle. At times of heavy periods, that’s when l need the privacy.

When out and about in bars etc, l often slip in the Gents. I get the odd strange look, although I try to pop in discreetly. But no queues!

No, StarlightLady or as you prefer, Miss Demestos, women want privacy at ALL times, not simply when they have "heavy periods".

Stop minimising the issue!

And what utter coy shite - popping in discreetly to "the Gents" when out and about.......

Unisex loos I find intimidating. I always feel that a bloke is going to follow me immediately into my sealed cubicle and no one will know. I also like my privacy and feel safe with women around.

If you are in train station at night it’s comfort to know loos are single sex. You know that men’s and women’s are usually not right next door, and a man loitering around women’s or going in would rightly raise eyebrows. These are social norms that help keep woman least able to be out and about.

akire is right. currently, you are protected by social norms which dictate that any man attempting to enter the women’s loos is likely to be challenged amd stopped. v few men therefore try to do this currently. This means that the risk of anyone lying in wait or following you in is lowered . It happens occasionally, sadly , but without these norms it could happen A LOT more.

It’s about reducing opportunities for crimes.

Yes. For many different reasons but at the top of list might be the smell of male urine. I also want to feel relaxed inserting a tampon and be able to rustle sanitary wrapping without having a guy queuing just outside the door forced to listen to me sorting out my period stuff.

Spot on fascinated.

By the Stonewall definition of trans, any man can declare they identify as a woman - no change in lifestyle is even required anymore. They can have beards, penises, wear male clothing (after all, plenty of women wear male clothing... is how the argument goes).

Not only are 'gender neutral' toilets being foisted on us - but where we still have single sex facilities, we will be unable to challenge any males entering them.

It’s same as changing rooms it’s just another bit of extra thinking extra careful extra worry extra planning.

You want go late night shopping coming up to Xmas. You have think about where you will park that’s not going be on empty floor or to far from lifts. Using lift not the stairs or waiting for an empty lift. All million little things that women do that men don’t register. Having same sex loos and changing rooms didn’t take away risk but makes it much more “normal risk” than a raised risk.

Do you try that dress on 10min before closing time in mixed sex empty room with no staff or do you think it’s not worth risk.

I feel very strongly about the safety aspect of this : I would not want my 14 year old daughter using a public mixed sex toilet. There are too many sleazeballs around, especially in London.

Akire You are absolutely right.

Not because I think most men are peeves, I know they’re not. But because it only takes one man to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe and then you don’t want to use the bathroom so you drink less and make yourself unwell.

Also men’s bathrooms stink.

The unisex loos I've been in stink and have wee all over the floor. That's why I don't like them but understand some women will have much worse fears. It's a bad idea.

Because I want privacy, I don’t want them to hear rusting as I change my Sanpro. I don’t want to walk out and have to share washing facilities. Men are not good when it comes to weeing are they? It gets everywhere.

I don’t want men seeing me upset and crying, why can’t we woman have our own space