Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

[Beaverdam]

We were discussing this in work the other day. I really dont care about sharing toilets with males but some of the other women are really annoyed about the idea.

Are you annoyed about this? If so, what isit that you dont like about it? Do you think that the men will perve?

From a mans point of view, I hate them. The only experience I have of mixed toilets is in pubs.

Men want urinals, chasing the urinal cake up and down the trough is the best part of being a man, it's worth dying a few years sooner than women just to be able to do that.

All men want to do is piss/ shit/ vomit ,then possibly wash their hands ( and most of them don't). They might miss the pot when they piss but they don't block it with all sorts of things that ain't meant to be in there, my work has in the past involved me fishing all sorts of stuff out and women's bogs are always the worst and they always have way more puke than the men's.

Men want to be in and out ASAP, hang around in there too long and you will get funny looks from your mates, for women it's seems more a social thing and they fanny about in there for ages.

I don't understand what the point is of mixed toilets, who wants them?

No worries @Ninkaninus, I also didn't mean to make it sound like you were causing women to suffer because of your views because I can see you're not. I should have worded what I said differently. More trying to argue for something I'm very passionate about (as you can probably tell )

Not the first time on MN I've been told to fuck off, I'm sure it wont be the last either

And of course men have shit stains on the loos. They aren’t challanged at home. Too embarrassing to tell them man to literally clean his shit. Instead the woman goes and quietly does it.

You should be embarrassed if you leave shit in the toilet unless you are a young child or physically incapable of doing it. So what if they get their feelings or whatever, not my problem. Not only be told to clean it that time, if it happened a second time they wouldn’t be coming back.

And until all these pathetic men grow up and realise we aren’t here to serve them, regardless of a safety issue. I don’t want to share with them.

So seeing how women have to alter our behaviour. Those of you who clean up their shit, have a word with yourself and tell him to do it himself or fuck off elsewhere. That there is a complete lack of respect for you. Even if you don’t care colleagues have to share their space, do it for yourself and don’t delude yourself it’s easier. Yea for him.

Not worried at all really but having experienced one when doing uni visits with DS, I can admit that it felt strange and slightly unnerving to hear a strange man coughing in the next cubicle.
I'm sure that I'd get used to it but I can understand why some women wouldn't. TBH I might probably feel a bit vulnerable if other people weren't around and the toilet was isolated.

yes. I am bothered.

Privacy is not the same thing as secrecy.

I don’t see men as a threat to me at all but appreciate I’m lucky in that sense

As a woman, considering your increased risk from men, particularly high in mixed sex soaces like changing rooms and toilets, you actually are at risk from some men.

You are not lucky. You belong to a class that is at higher risk from another class than your own.

So it makes sense to remain solely in your same class (sex/group) when vulnerable, such as toileting, on hospital wards, or undressing anywhere.

What so you say to the young girls who are now getting physical health problems, dangerous ones as a reuslt of self-excluding from schools mixed sex ridiculous provisions. Do you say, oh im just so lucky because I don't 'feel' at risk.

How does that help all those directly harmed by these facilities and stupid decision-making by fantasyland idiots.

The reality is, women and dc are being assaulted.

Who wants them? 15-20% of the population based on programs that have asked who wants them.

Imagine though how interesting politics would be if we went with the party with the least votes. Although what would be the point in asking people if you ignore and do as you want anyway?

And how has this gone through?
As women we had to fight for rights.
Disabled people had to fight for their rights.
Gay rights again fought for.
Equal opportunities etc.

But I never saw any demonstrations for unisex toilets or anything else. I never saw petitions asking for unisex toilets. I was never asked a damn thing about it. Why don’t I as the 80 - 85% count? What about my feelings? Am I no longer a part of society?

This is what we should be saying. Not I don’t care

To those who don’t care - You really don’t care about being part of society?

I was raised that NO is NO when it comes to my body. When we start making exceptions to this, we are heading somewhere I don’t want to be. That is a society I do not want in my life or that of future generations. And tbh if I was limited in what I could do for the future, ending this batshitness now would be more priority than the environment. What’s the point in saving the planet if people are living in constant fear? We don’t accept a live of fear now. Why wish that on anyone?

I had this in my last office and EVERYBODY hated them, men and women.

Men were embarrassed and hated having the sanitary products about and women hated the wee on the seats and the smell.

People would linger outside until all the stalls were empty and some would lock the external door .

It was a total PITA.

I would feel very vulnerable. Normal men don’t frighten me, but I think it’s an invitation for the pervy ones to set up shop, so to speak, and use the opportunity to get their jollies.

I've just had a forgotten flashback to a night out. I was just coming out of a large room type, toilet that led directly into the bar area, a chap was trying to chat me up and then I realised he was subtly backing me towards the cubicle door. When it became so obvious that he was trying to get me back into that toilet I forcefully had to tell him where to go. I dread to think what would have happened if I'd been drunker or less forceful than I was.

The whole room type cubicle leading on to a corridor, that many women on here are saying would make them feel better, is potentially more dangerous than the open cubicle. No one would hear what was going on etc.

I would also be very concerned about my DDs having to use a public toilets if men are allowed in as well. I’m really not paranoid about it, but just realize we don’t need to make women more vulnerable then they already are.

I very much doubt whether up to twenty per cent of people want them. I imagine that they answered a skewed question along the lines of “would you mind”... Younger women who have so far escaped harassment, or who are childless might answer that they don’t mind. Women who have never needed to take an elderly Mum to the Ladies, or prop the door ajar as they have a toddler and a baby.
Plus all the creepy men quite happy to get into the Ladies.
I have never met anyone who actively wants mixed sex loos.

Yes I am bothered about them because often you go into a toilet, it's not supervised and you are in a confined space that is not overlooked. I would feel uncomfortable if I was in a toilet with other men, especially if it was a club/pub where people are drinking and less inhibited.

I have been reading this thread since last night. What occurs to me is a lack of empathy on the part of those saying they don’t have a problem with it. I am not talking about a shared loo shared by a few colleagues. I am talking about public loos.

As a very heavy period sufferer, I don’t want to be in a loo with men around while I might have to come out with blood on my hands - because you know, there is no paper and I don’t have anything because I have been caught out. I just don’t want to do this, I like my privacy, and why should I have to?

If I am in a single sex loo, I am more comfortable even if I have to wash blood off my hand (usually try to keep one clean to open door). Added bonus, I can ask for some loo paper to be flung over/under the door. Can’t do that with floor to ceiling doors and if I stand up to lean around the door to ask, I would be a much bigger mess. Anyone with flooding issues knows exactly what I mean.

So should I not leave the house then so I don’t encounter this. It is hard enough to leave the house as it is on those days.

What about when I take my elderly mum to a loo and there is no disabled loos. I need the door open to help her. What about her dignity and privacy? Or when dealing with small children if there is more than one and you cannot fit in a cubicle. There are plenty of other examples but they seem to be ignored by those who don’t seem to look beyond their own needs. But ok, you do you:

If someone with a penis feels unsafe in the male loo, I am all for a separate space for them. I feel that there is not enough definitive research that shows that them using my space is as safe as being for those with vaginas and children only. I think separate sex spaces are needed until this longitudinal research becomes available and probably some unisex spaces as well. This should not be a quick trigger decision to appease a very few.

Why is there a need for mixed sex toilets?

Instead of encroaching on women's privacy and comfort why can't penis holders use the toilets designed for penis holders? Why cant stores instill a private toilet (and changing cubicle) especially for those who possibly cannot use the facilities installed for their sex?

Why should women always have to make way for men and constantly have their needs ignored? There is more than one way to kill a cat, as they say. Leave women out of men's agendas!

If a bloke has a problem using a blokes toilet the problem is his. Why should women be undermined and expected to hand their private space over to him?

Yes, it's a not overlooked, confined space with cubicles that can be locked from the inside, so someone could drag you in one and lock the door from the inside.

I don't feel safe knowing that anyone can just go in.

Because of hurty feelz. Entitlement?

I’m actually waiting for someone to come along and post -

I don’t see the problem. We have them in our town. Depending on which part of town you have ones that are in a bit of a quiet area, but it’s ok because they are all just there and self contained. The other ones, they are ace. All they done is bing some urinals in the ladies, ripped out a couple of loose to do so and put sanitary bins in the men’s. There’s CCTV over looking the entrance to the closed space.

I was just wondering when men will demand urinals in this shared space - just to make sure every woman, teen girl and child get a good look at their magnificent penises

Yes, why should women have to budge aside to accommodate again.

There is no need for mixed sex facilities atall.

No need. It just compromises everyone but worryingly compromises womens safety, what need is there for that exactly? No none

What need is there? None. Ever. Without exception.

I didn't think I'd mind.
Then I arrived at a foreign airport, needed the loo and entered the first ladies I saw. There were 2 maintenance men, causing no harm, mending a mirror. There hadn't been a sign saying they were there ( I speak the language and would have understood if I saw one)
There were no other women in there, and I just couldn't go further in and go into a cubicle. I kind of apologized. So did they, and I went looking for a different loo.
It was just the thought of being in there, with 2 men just outside the door. I have really surprised myself having that instinctive reaction but there it is.

As a society, we can't even adequately provide provision for people with disabilities - who do actually need these facilities.

So yes, why do we need mixed-sex facilities?