Men sat in women's changing rooms

[nycfrog]

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

@pigsDOfly surely at the point you're wanting to use the mirrors, you've got the clothes on that you want to check? So why does it matter if there's a man, woman or a fucking donkey in that area, you're surely covered?

Well there should be more seating for them. john lewis usually provides a small space

I get irrationally irritated with men in underwear departments, standing a few feet away from their OH’s looking all shifty with faux nonchalance

Probably because of statements like this. They’re terrified of even being in the shop in the first place just in case the mere presence of a penis offends

Lol, exactly. I mean FFS
As a complete aside, I'm now reminded of the Father Ted lingerie department scene where they're all looking shifty as they've ended up "getting lost" and are trying to bust out without being seen

Really it’s the layout of the changing room, which you’d see going in, and logically you couldn’t have been that long for a sudden burst of couples to appear behind you in the time it takes to get undressed n throw a dress over your head.

Also it’s a back.. unless there’s a drip feed about how the zip starts way down past your arse you’ve shown men more at the pool. They’re most likely bored on their phones not looking to stare at someone’s spine for thrills... in a lingerie shop it’d be stranger but I’ve never been in one with seats.

It’s 100% more the shops fault than the male in questions fault, he wanted somewhere to sit.
I’m not comfortable with it at all, my partner will go elsewhere while I’m in fitting rooms and I’d hate to feel exposed with someone sat facing the changing area but the shops should be smarter than sitting their seating area there.

I used to take DH along to the sale with me - well it's more likely he took me to make sure I bought some nice clothes. The changing rooms were always crowded and leaving the cubicle to look for him or different sizes etc wasn't an option. He was excellent at going off to get something that was bigger, smaller, better colour, would go with the thing I'd just tried on. Other women sometimes thought he either worked in the shop or was my personal shopper.
So you DGAF about other women’s boundaries.

I wouldn't be bothered about a random bloke seeing my bare back

Because they are different to your own.

. I was more concerned the time I tried on a dress in a shop and managed to tuck the hem in my knickers and only discovered it when I was standing in the store looking in the mirror as there wasn't one in the change room. The store assistant was standing directly behind me, must have seen what had happened and said nothing

But when another woman doesn’t help you enforce your boundaries....

Bitch

See the issue?

So OP, you have no trouble with a woman's female partner sitting there ready to gawp at other women?

Why on these sort of threads does someone always come up with that same stupid bloody question?

Good grief - what's with the number of posters doing the pompous "I like my hubby velcroed to me wherever I am and if you don't like him in your changing room - tough".
Since when did the rights of women to establish boundaries become negotiable? Fine to disagree with someone's boundaries but not fine to deliberately violate the boundaries.

@Baguetteaboutit is right, what blatant homophobia..

However replace lesbians with men and it suddenly makes perfect sense...

Oh yeah, because there is an industrial sized problem with lesbians men encroaching on women's boundaries and objectifying them for sport at every turn - right?

@Makemeaname. It's not just about being 'covered'. When I'm trying on clothes and looking in a mirror, turning this way and that to see how things fit, I don't want some man standing there watching me while I do it.

what's with the number of posters doing the pompous "I like my hubby velcroed to me wherever I am and if you don't like him in your changing room - tough".

Where's that been said?

I've seen 1 poster say her DH brought clothes into the changing room and 1 poster say that she goes into the male changing room - everyone else is reacting to the posters saying couples shouldn't go shopping together, at all. In those cases of course the answer is "tough". They're not taking their partners into the changing room. They're taking them into the shop. Or do your boundaries entail.banning men from shops, full stop?

No-one wants to ban men from shops ffs just for them to stop loitering and looking shifty in female centric spaces. Surely thats not too much to ask.

Don't understand the issue, the changing rooms have curtains. Many shops have unisex changing rooms and some are in the store

I swear I type this out so many times a week I should just have a copy and paste note ready somewhere...

The one and only time I used a mixed sex ‘changing village’ at a swimming pool a man put his head under my cubicle partition.

I accept that you (and many other women) do not ‘understand the issue’ but please don’t speak over those of us who do. We aren’t making this stuff up. Single sex facilities are still very much wanted by lots of women.

Why wouldn't women take their partners shopping? Some couples make a day of it. Shopping, bite to eat, couple of drinks, perhaps some site seeing.

*I get irrationally irritated with men in underwear departments, standing a few feet away from their OH’s looking all shifty with faux nonchalance

Probably because of statements like this. They’re terrified of even being in the shop in the first place just in case the mere presence of a penis offends*

😂

I get irrationally irritated with men in underwear departments, standing a few feet away from their OH’s looking all shifty with faux nonchalance.

That reminds me of an episode of Father Ted.

Are you OK with if they stand closer the their OH's and don't look remotely shifty?

Why wouldn't women take their partners shopping? Some couples make a day of it. Shopping, bite to eat, couple of drinks, perhaps some site seeing

What, in the changing rooms!?!?

No-one wants to ban men from shops ffs just for them to stop loitering and looking shifty in female centric spaces. Surely thats not too much to ask.

They're there with a partner or maybe on their own buying something for a partner - why is that loitering and looking shifty?

Do you never buy anything from the men's department? Are you loitering and looking shifty when you go into the male centric department?

Honestly, how ridiculous. Maybe we should segregate shops. Men can't go into women's shops and vice versa. Not only is the issue toilets and changing rooms but now it's areas of shops that sell items for women.

How about the DH buying sanpro for his wife? Can't get a more female centric place can you? Should that be banned too?

That reminds me of an episode of Father Ted

@ConFusion360 not just me then see my previous post lol

confusion

I love that episode

My dh always looks like he would rather be somewhere else when i pootle into the lingerie department...quite often he bolts in the opposite direction

Timely thread, I was actually having a conversation with another woman yesterday and we both agreed it gives us the absolute rage.

Men should NOT go past the entrance to women's changing rooms. The only exception I'd make is if the woman is disabled and her carer is male, they would go in the disabled changing room. I assume that they would get a sales assistant to fetch alternative clothing should it be required rather than the man going in and out.

I've recently had experience of being in a changing room where a man just swanned in and sat down. I wanted to tell him to get his entitled arse out pronto but instead had a quiet word with the assistant and told them I was very uncomfortable about a man being in there.

If other women see it as a non-issue fair enough but your rights to have your man present to view your garments rather than walk out of the changing room do not trump those of women that do feel vulnerable when in a state of undress with a flimsy curtain between them and a man. Think of others and not just your need to have your partner with you when shopping, in other words, stop being selfish!

How about the DH buying sanpro for his wife? Can't get a more female centric place can you

What sainsburys? Or do you mean that particular aisle

Or do you mean that particular aisle

That particular aisle.

A pp said that men shouldn't be in fe.alecentric areas, loitering and looking shifty. Just wondering how far she wants that taken.

Men should NOT go past the entrance to women's changing rooms

OK, I take on board the rest of your post, some are uncomfortable around men, fair enough - this though?
Men can't even walk past the entrance now?!
How far back a distance is acceptable?