Men sat in women's changing rooms

[nycfrog]

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

Everything MrG said

@Baguetteaboutit

Oh yeah, because there is an industrial sized problem with lesbians encroaching on women's boundaries and objectifying them for sport at every turn - right? Right? No, that's right, they fucking don't so play your bullshit game elsewhere.

Absolutely this ^

This tiresome bollocks of trotting out the lesbian example in defence of this stuff is nothing more than weasel words from people who enjoy arguing as a sport rather than real world common sense and practicality.

Ridiculous non-issue. If you don’t want people to see your bare back don’t walk out of the changing cubicle with it uncovered

^ this. Resolves the issue whether it is a male or female partner waiting.

Hop on over to the Marks and Spencer had fallen threads everyone... All changing rooms are mixed spaces now, people just pick the one that they feel the most comfortable in. And fuck everyone else's discomfort. Inclusion, yay!

I'm taking this complaint one step further to ask why on earth every couple feels the need to shop together anyway!?

I understand that sometimes for a big ticket item (expensive dress, nice jeans etc) you may want your OH's opinion, but every shop on every busy high street in London seems rammed with 'family in tow' men and often also kids looking miserable and getting in everyone's way.

OF COURSE i'm not saying they aren't allowed to be there, but I often genuinely question why people don't say 'i'm going to go to look on my own/sit in Costa/Pret/a pub for 30 mins, text me when you are done'. It just seems so nonsensical for everyone to be traipsing about together.

(yes I am a grumpy and stressed Londoner who can't move for all the people who are just standing around on their phones looking unhappy and don't want to be there )

Bare back 😱 careful your be showing some knee next!

Honestly it doesn’t bother me. I don’t walk round the changing rooms naked, I am in my little cubicle. I care not if someone sees my back.

Honestly wha do you think is going to happen? They are sitting on chairs in the waiting section for a friend or partner, plenty of other people are normally around in a changing area. Where is the danger??

He was inside the changing room area

Ridiculous non-issue. If you don’t want people to see your bare back don’t walk out of the changing cubicle with it uncovered. Just call the assistant from the cubicle. Or walk out forwards towards the people in the seating area. Or shop online. Or get some counseling so that you are not freaked out if other people see your back.

^This. Such a non issue here

Ahh come on OP. Didn’t you know that women’s boundaries are on the wrong side of history?

Oh god yes, yesterday I was im boots trying to look at the Maybeline make up stand and there was a woman looking at lipsticks also there along with her partner or husband. He obviously had zero interest in make up at all but was stood right next to her like a limpet blocking me from being able to see anything. He didn't even bother to move when he saw my there trying to get near, maybe he was worried that in that short space of time that he left her alone she'd run off with someone else or something?

Why is it that some couples have to do absolutely everything together all the time? I don't get it.

Diagram please...

Was he in the changing room or outside the changing room? There's a big difference.

I'm taking this complaint one step further to ask why on earth every couple feels the need to shop together anyway!?

It's hardly every couple.

I avoid shopping with my partner like the plague. He likes shopping and wants to faff about looking at stuff instead of getting the one thing you went for and getting the hell out ASAP like a sane person

He was inside the changing room area

Then YANBU.

I agree they don't need to be there at all. They dont really look like they want to be there. To be honest I'd be more worried about the ones who look like they want to be there there because clearly there is something wrong with them....

I've solved this problem by never going shopping in physical shops and doing all my shopping on the internet, getting it delivered at home and then trying everything on in the comfort and privacy of my own home.

Chairs outside the changing area are a great idea. (Don't any of you take your teenage daughters clothes shopping?)

Inside the changing area - not so much.

There's really no reason to have the second rather than the first.

@Baguetteaboutit - well fucking said !

I get irrationally irritated with men in underwear departments, standing a few feet away from their OH’s looking all shifty with faux nonchalance.

My DD was trying on something in H&M the other day, curtains stopped maybe a foot from the floor, so you could see women taking clothes off, and gaps at the side. They were in a U shape with a large opening to the store. About four men standing in the opening. I felt v uncomfortable and stood outside my DD's changing room to ensure the gap in the curtains was blocked. I'd feel unsafe undressing in them (I've been assaulted before) - I don't know what stores are thinking.

Why are so many posters ridiculing the OP for having different boundaries from them? Seriously? Do you think it’s appropriate to tell a female that she has no right to decide where her boundaries lie? Is it only your line that shouldn’t be crossed? Can any of you give me a serious answer, without saying she’s just being precious, silly, etc?

I'm taking this complaint one step further to ask why on earth every couple feels the need to shop together anyway!?

Not every couple does... but I'd like to ask why they shouldn't if they want to?

I was not wandering around. The assistant came to the changing room but did not step in (probably not enough room tbh).

So,OP, you would have no problem with a woman’s female partner sitting there ready to gawp at other women? You are being inconsistent

Do you realise how homophobic this argument is? I presume you mean it to be rhetorical but it comes with an undercurrent of bigotry. If that’s not your intention, I would suggest you stop using it.

Single sex facilities are about privacy and dignity, not sexual orientation.

Heterosexual women are female and homosexual women are female.

It’s MALE people who shouldn’t be in female only spaces, not homosexual females.

Sat outside the entrance?
So not in there at all?
YABU, I'm not one who parks her DH outside the entrances of changing rooms, but if they're sat outside minding their own, bored out of their brain staring off into space waiting for their partner to finish fannying around trying on dresses, meh let em crack on lol - can think of a million things better to do than sit around outside changing rooms waiting for people!

They are there for the people that either cannot decide for themselves what suits them, or who dress for their partner’s approval

I actually appreciate my DHs opinion on things. I’m not ruled by that opinion but he can see the outfit from all angles.

I'm taking this complaint one step further to ask why on earth every couple feels the need to shop together anyway!?

I don’t like going clothes shopping on my own. I LIKE to seek the opinion of others.

My DH enjoys shopping and we regularly go to our nearest big shopping mall together. We go into shops for clothes (for both of us), things for the home and also just “window shopping”. We will each comment on things we like (thus giving ideas for Christmas & birthday presents). We will sit and have coffee. We will have a nice lunch sometimes. He wouldn’t go into a ladies changing area but most of the shops have unisex areas anyway apart from the lady only shops like Phase Eight and Hobbs where he waits outside holding my handbag and I come out to show him what Ive tried on.