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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas Dinner issue...

231 replies

katycb · 02/11/2019 21:21

So I'm hosting Xmas for us (family of 5 all kids under 7) and my parents/ in laws this year. I have invited my sister who is a strict vegan so was obviously going to make sure she had a decent vegan option. I understand that she doesn't like seeing meat as a centre piece so I offered to plate up separately so this wasn't an issue to which she said she would still feel uncomfortable, I then offered to cook a veggie meal to avoid this so she would have lots of choice and even if some stuff has dairy in it she shouldn't be distressed looking at it .. Apparently this isn't enough and she will only come if everything is Vegan... A part of me thinks that I want to compromise so that all my family can be there the other part thinks that I have already been really fair and there are 9 others to think about...she had then offered to come but not for the meal and I really don't know what to do. So aibu to just cook what we would normally have with a vegan option and plate up separately and say that's the compromise or should I cook a vegan meal for 10..

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 02/11/2019 21:22

fuck making every one eat vegan if your normally eat meaters

SatansReject · 02/11/2019 21:23

Cook a vegan option but no way should everyone be forced to eat vegan. If she chooses not to attend that’s her choice.

Actionhasmagic · 02/11/2019 21:24

I would be disappointed with a vegan Xmas lunch - I like sausages in blankets though !

drankthekoolaid · 02/11/2019 21:24

I'm a vegan.

She's been ridiculous.

I'd expect to be catered for but not for everyone to eat vegan! Be nice if they did but I'm the guest and I'd never be so rude!

SunniDay · 02/11/2019 21:24

Agree that she should come after the meal. She needs to meet you half way.

Weenurse · 02/11/2019 21:24

You have offered to compromise, she did not agree.
Go with her coming at a different time of the day and not for the meal.

NoSauce · 02/11/2019 21:24

What???

Of course you shouldn’t offer meat eaters a vegan Christmas Dinner. Turkey for those that want it and vegan whatever for your sister.

Is she really being so ridiculous?

Gardai · 02/11/2019 21:25

How much do you love your sister ?
If less than very much I’d tell her to fuck off.

DidntLikeRugbyAnyway · 02/11/2019 21:26

Tell her that your Christmas meal doesn’t fucking revolve around her.

Cook her a vegan meal, but everyone else should get a Christmas dinner.

Blubluboo · 02/11/2019 21:26

Does your sister ever go to restaurants that aren't vegan only? She is being unreasonable!

SmileEachDay · 02/11/2019 21:26

If she doesn’t want to come, she doesn’t need to come.

Being a vegan doesn’t make you queen.

FredaFox · 02/11/2019 21:26

Absolutely cater for her and plate everyone up in the kitchen but it's outrageous for her to expect 10 other non vegan people to have a vegan Christmas family lunch

katycb · 02/11/2019 21:26

Thanks everyone..I have absolutely no issue with her choices..we buy loads of locally sources meat and dairy and try to improve our carbon footprint in lots of ways...I just love cheese too much!

OP posts:
RB68 · 02/11/2019 21:27

Do the she comes later thing

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 02/11/2019 21:27

No way! You're being more than reasonable by offering a vegan option for your sister. It's not fair on everyone else to force them to eat vegan if they like to eat meat. I would not come for dinner if it was vegan.

FredaFox · 02/11/2019 21:27

How old is she? Is she coming alone or bringing partner/ kids?

Ineedanamechange79 · 02/11/2019 21:28

Tell her to fuck off. That's is completely ludicrous expecting everything to be vegan to suit her.

PixieDustt · 02/11/2019 21:28

What! Certainly not. If it offends her that much tell her to sit in the garden.

Friendofsadgirl · 02/11/2019 21:28

Just let her come after dinner.
I'm vegetarian and I'm not keen on the meat centrepiece on the table but I would accept that the majority should have dinner their way as long as I get a veggie option.
However, I cannot look at dead fish and have been known to excuse myself from going to a sushi restaurant as I can't face eating there. I wouldn't expect everyone else to eat what I wanted.

rainbowconfetti · 02/11/2019 21:28

'I'm sorry you can't make it'

DidntLikeRugbyAnyway · 02/11/2019 21:30

I would be so so disappointed with a vegan Christmas dinner, as would the DC. I remember being forced to eat nut roast as a child by my veggie parents, it was awful. And I like veggie food.

katycb · 02/11/2019 21:30

Mid 20s no kids..thanks everyone I just wanted the check I wasn't being mean..didn't think I was but you know that's what aibu is for!

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 02/11/2019 21:30

I would agree to her suggestion that she comes after the meal. Would also remind her to leave before you put the evening buffet on the table.

maybejustmaybe · 02/11/2019 21:30

You’re not being unreasonable. You don’t make her eat meat. So she shouldn’t make you eat vegan. Simples

misspiggy19 · 02/11/2019 21:31

I would not come for dinner if it was vegan.

^Nor would I

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