AIBU - school lunches

[Standinguptononsense]

My ex husband and I have had a court order in place for 3 years. It states he has responsibility in the day time on monday and fridays.

For the past 18 months he has been purchasing school lunch for our eldest through parent pay. He sent me an email the other day stating "it has come to light" he has been paying for these school lunches twice as he buys them and also gives me maintenance.

I've said it is his responsibility as pee the courr order. I have also checked with the CMS who are in agreement with me in terms of they wouldnt tell / confirm to him that he is responsible.

So AIBU?

My eldest is now likely to have no lunch provided by his dad when he takes him to school Monday.

I can see why he’s your ex (sounds like a twat!)

Not wishing to drop feed but this is off the back of an email 2 weeks ago in which he aakes to be reimbursed for 2 school jumper he has purchased for his days complete with a photocopy of the receipt....

Does the maintenance he pays take into account the 2 days? Do you have 5/2 care?

We have shared care 8/6. The order is specific in terms of who is responsible when. The CMS base their amount on the order.

In that case he's trying it on, the issue will be if your son has no lunch because he's being an arse. Can you check with school on monday and pay it if necessary (although you shouldn't have to)

Is he an ex because he's abusive?

Wow ... what an utter twat

Hes always trying it on. According to the order (which the school have a copy of) he is responsible until 3pm on mondays and fridays.

I have already raised it with the school as a potential issue as we had parents consultations just before they broke up. His teacher said he wouldn't go hungry.

He definitely hasn't paid online as I can.see that so its whether he sends him with a packed lunch.

What a dick.

Email him back and explain (slowly, by the sounds of it) that the lunches are already reflected in the maintenance amount and so it's his responsibility to pay for them on his days. Keep copies in case he decides to be even more of an arse.

Yes - emotionally and financially abusive

And so it continues.

But theres no help for this.

@Venger I have done that already and kept copies.

Hes not responded to my last email. Its just one thing after another. :(

Oh OP what a fucker. I’m glad the school are supportive.

What a horrid man.

I'll find out Monday how supportive they are..

If kids were not at school would he feed them lunch? Yes. There is his answer. My ex tried this argument.

He can send a packed lunch or school dinner, either way he is responsible for feeding kids on his days

That's exactly what I said. He has them every bank holiday and TED day (fridays) and feeds them lunch!!!

It's so frustrating dealing with this shit all the time.

What happened in the end in your situation?

Fortunately this pisstake came up in mediation, He consulted his lawyer who confirmed he had to feed them on his days when they were at school.

I'm just going to stand firm on this then.

Thank you.

Are their any family court specialists who could offer advice? Thanks xxx

Conversation this morning. I'm S hes A. Starts at the bottom.

A.

I have made my points clear. I am not discussing this further with you.

S.

S.

Not sure how your points are relevant to this matter.

The CO does not cover finances.

The CMS money you receive from myself is for our children, you have been deemed by the CMS to be financial responsible, you spend the money as you see fit.

I have a number of times previously discussed the matter of funding the lads with yourself and your goal was to simply take more money from myself, this again seems to be your goal.
As I have previously informed yourself, unless you wish to have a grown up discussion on how we both provide for the lads and compile a suitable family arrangement that meets their needs, I shall request you to direct your continued financial problems to the CMS.

A.

A.

I don't need to. The court order we have in place is explicit in our parental responsibilities for our children.

The money is not for me. It's for the children.

S.

S.

The CMS haven't sent anything that supports your claims.
I have a number of times previously discussed the matter of funding the lads with yourself and your goal was to simply take more money from myself, this again seems to be your goal.
As I have previously informed yourself, unless you wish to have a grown up discussion on how we both provide for the lads and compile a suitable family arrangement that meets their needs, I shall request you to direct your continued financial problems to the CMS.

A.

A.

I have received confirmation today from the CMS regarding future maintenance payments.

I also sought clarification regarding the school jumpers and school meals. They are in agreement with me that these are your financial obligation and they would have not confirmed to you that these costs lie with me.

So who ever is feeding you this information or how "it has come to light" is incorrect.

They confirmed anything out the norm would be a local agreement between us. So for example the PGL trip for L, clubs, passports etc. They would be for us to agree between us and falls outside of their jurisdiction.

I ask that you stop simply demanding me to cover your financial responsibilities for our children, if you are struggling financially in any way then please raise this in an appropriate way and we can discuss.

S.

Hes now signed me up for pay plan- a debt specialist.

I have no debt.

How can he sign you up for anything?! What a twat

Well registered, I had an email saying thank you for signing up to our plan, please call us to go through your plan in more detail....

So he's stopped the lunches and now the school are chasing payment!!!