AIBU - school lunches

[Standinguptononsense]

My ex husband and I have had a court order in place for 3 years. It states he has responsibility in the day time on monday and fridays.

For the past 18 months he has been purchasing school lunch for our eldest through parent pay. He sent me an email the other day stating "it has come to light" he has been paying for these school lunches twice as he buys them and also gives me maintenance.

I've said it is his responsibility as pee the courr order. I have also checked with the CMS who are in agreement with me in terms of they wouldnt tell / confirm to him that he is responsible.

So AIBU?

My eldest is now likely to have no lunch provided by his dad when he takes him to school Monday.

He is being unreasonable - if only for his appalling usage of "myself/yourself" in his ridiculous email. People tend to do that in the hope they sound business-like, when in reality they just sound like pompous, ill-educated twats.

🤣🤣🤣 that's absolutely spot on.

This was one of his replies today when discussing the split of the xmas hols...

I shall not be discussing anything further with yourself when plain lies are continuously being sent, correct this statement.

"I havent had any TED days."

You’re better than me OP. I’ve always just paid all the lunches as life is too short to be dealing with dickhead ex. Still you are absolutely right to take a stand and right in your analysis of the situation.

He sounds like a total knob (nob?) in his messages too!

callme
Exactly what I thought with the yourself /myself business! Told me he was a twat from that point onwards!

Himself is a twat. This sounds so horribly stressful, you're amazing to cope with this -my anxiety would be through the roof.
You're right to stand firm though, otherwise where does it end!

That's my point- where does it end. If offers no contribution to anything else and uses it as a way to not pay for large items. It sets a precedent going forward which I am not comfortable with. Problem is hes not moved on so has nothing better to do.

In the message above the "I didn't have any Ted days" hed even highlighted in red....

This is another ex.

As determined by the CMS, you are the main care of our children and
therefore in receipt of child maintenance from myself. As you are aware
this provides you with certain financial responsibilities for their welfare.

I have previously communicated to yourself the lads school jumpers have
been lost and therefore they were ill equipment for the changing weather
conditions for school. I have purchased two new jumpers for their
replacement and I trust you will reimburse the expense.

Note. These were his jumpers he had lost

I would reply saying that they were his jumpers to replace as they are the ones dld at HIS house.

I hope that you hear from the court.

I thought the CM was to look after the kids when in your care (food, roof and utilities), not for extras like trips and meals at school

Sorry my fone changed for to did

That was my understanding too. That's I said. Just wish court would come back to me.

Just ignore the jumper issue entirely.
I disagree with PP on the financial contribution being sufficient that your ex shouldn't have to pay for meals when the kids are in his care. Child maintenance is to offset the expenses of the parent with care, not to remove all other conceivable financial responsibility from the other parent.

@Ohamireally that was my thought

Right so I've had an email saying the debt has been paid and DS1 lunches have been booked going forward.

He has sent this to the school and me.

Good afternoon,

Ref - DS1

Firstly I apologies over the delay is getting the issue of DS1s school meals resolved. After speaking with the CMS this morning, I have made payment for DS1s outstanding meals and all Mon & Fri meals going forward until the end of this term.

If there is anything still unresolved or any questions regarding the matter please contact myself.

Kind regards

So fingers crossed that last of it

That's interesting. So the CMS does have its uses.
Why he felt the need to offer that information to the school god knows. All that angst and faffing about and stress for nothing.
He'll move on to Christmas as his next stressy project so keep us updated OP so we can help!
My best and least stressful response to anything my ex says or does is absolute silence. I know that's the response likely to wind him up the most too so I get something out of it

Christmas is a whole separate thread 🤣🤣 100 emails and he still cant agree. I've left him to it for now.

Result! I’m so pleased for you.

Maybe he will start to realise he cant bully me anymore.

Thanks for all your support ladies :)

Good result

Whohoo :)

What are TED days?

And if they are leaving from his on a Friday and Monday how does he expect you to provide a lunch? It's his choice for them to have a hot meal. He could send food with him?

TED are teacher training days.

Yes exactly!!

His pompous use of "yourself" makes my blood boil.

My particular favourite is when he asks me to "reframe" from doing....🤣🤣

Oh OP, I just caught up with your thread. Well BLOODY done for standing your ground! I'd have caved and paid and kicked myself.

"Reframe" hilarious what a twat keep them coming OP!

One of my colleagues refers to being made "an escape goat"