To ask how many hours your DP spends playing videos games

[Cchick]

Just what the title says really.

My partner spends maybe 15-20 hours a week on average (sometimes he can spend 12 full hours!) and I was wondering how many your partners spend. I mean he's playing the games with other people, so is this normal in other households too?

FYI, we don't have any children yet and we aren't married yet. I'm just very worried that if we do marry and have kids, the family would come second to gaming. Everyone says to look out for red flags and I'm wondering if this is one?

Long story short, how many hours do your partners spend gaming and has it reduced since marrying and having children?

TIA!

My ex would spend about 3 hours on an evening and probably 10 hours on a weekend.

None, because he's a middle aged man. When he was younger he would play for a couple of hours, a couple of evenings a week when I'd gone to bed. Never encroached on our time together or family stuff.

DH works 4am till 11am 6 days a week. So hes normally home during the boys nap time. He uses this time to game, I normally sit in the living room with him, look through mumsnet, do some surveys to make some extra cash, and scroll through Ebay to see what I'm spending that cash on.
We just use it as our down time.
But this is only if hes into a particular game (he was recently) but if not he can go months without gaming, it comes and goes but doesn't bother me.
He asks if he can play, if I said no he wouldn't. He won't play today because he needs to be on standby in case the boys wake up early as I'm spending some time on myself. He'll enjoy a game to relax but would be fine not to play.
I know people who put fifa above all and everything and I simply wouldn't put up with that attitude.
But also agree that its not the hobby, gaming, cycling, running, whatever, should not come before the family in terms of time and money.

Zero but as you can tell from my username that DH and I run - a lot! We schedule our runs to fit around work and family life though for example I’m off out now for an hour and when I get back DH will go before we take the kids to their swimming lessons.

Don’t see any problem with having a hobby. I don’t ‘get’ gaming but equally it is dark and raining heavily and people might think I’m mad for going out for a run! Just need to ensure it doesn’t encroach on the time you want as a family.

None. I wouldn't mind if he did though, as long as he had other hobbies too and was otherwise helpful, engaged in family life and helpful. He used to play video games when he lived with his friend before we moved in together, but hasn't been bothered at all since.

@redappleandaquamarinebow1987 I’ve seen supposed final evolution leaks on Twitter but I don’t know if I believe it yet.

I would not date a gamer full stop. The addiction comes before anything else and can totally take over lives.
I don't believe you can change someone who does this.
I'm concerned my son does it too much.

None before children, none after. He works, plays sport, watches sport, coaches sports, spends time with us as a family, half share of housework etc. I couldn't be with a gamer.

I’ve just re-read your opening post OP, your DP does seem to spend a lot of time gaming and, whatever the hobby, surely it is unhealthy to spend 12 hours solid doing the same thing? I do think he sounds addicted to gaming.

@ NotACleverName saw that too just wish there would be an official confirmation. Felt a bit 😒 about the legendaries tbh I just expected something more majestic then wolves lol. Based on the UK and called Sword and Shield would have been perfect for a unicorn (Sword), a dragon (Shield) and then a lion for both versions but oh well. Still looks like it will be good

Mine has a set night a week for gaming but even then it's only about 4 hours. He will sneak on occasionally during the week if I'm not home but it's really not a problem to me. It's something he enjoys and means I can watch what I like on telly!

None - he is an adult.

YES WE GET IT YOU GUYS ARE VERY SUPERIOR THANK YOU

Anyone else want to think they’re the first to say this?
I assume you all sit of an evening around the fire reading Austen and Dickens no?

None. He’s an adult not a kid. I don’t know any men who do

he's playing the games with other people, so is this normal in other households too?

A lot of the people he's playing against will be kids, as they tend to have more free time.

I think lots of people have an all or nothing approach to gaming because it's very easy to get addicted - as with any addictive thing, provided it's not hurting anyone or interfering with real life, I can't see the problem.

If he's underachieving IRL and using the games as a way to feel a sense of achievement, then that might be a problem, but if he's just playing games instead of watching TV in his down time, I wouldn't see that as a red flag in itself.

My Husband and are Married and are currently TTC, he works long shifts so I understand it’s his way to wind down etc but he can spend 4 hours at a time on the games , 4 times a week sometimes . I get a bit fed up (have never mentioned it to him in serious but have said before in passing ‘you’re always on those games’ and he says ‘it’s the same as you watching your YouTube videos’ . But I will be on and off YouTube but only do it if he’s playing his games As I’m just by myself or doing housework . It upsets me as I’ll be sort of hinting about DTD but he is just glued to the screen !

@Ithinkwerealonenowtiffany can you explain why computer games are for children and not adults? Does that also apply to board games? Sports games?

Errrm I'd say anywhere from 15-28hrs a week atm, it really depends, we still do things together as a family etc. It used to be more

It hasn't taken over our lives, and he works 40-50hrs a week. I also enjoy games but I don't play as much, and only when the kids are in bed!

I would not marry a man child.

Rarely now for both myself and DP, maybe 20 hrs a month.

Less than an hour a month .
Plays games on it with dd but that’s it.
He’s never been a gamer though

‘None, he is an adult’ is the ‘cancel the cheque’ of this thread. I hope the posters who are repeating it understand that they are making themselves look really ridiculous.

So just to summarise: an adult spending their time talking to strangers online, sneering at others’ life choices and using a carefully constructed sociolect to exclude outsiders = acceptable adult behaviour. An adult spending their time strategising and problem-solving, and keeping in touch with friends = unacceptable manchildishness. I’m glad to have that clarified for me.

Problem gaming is a problem, just like problem drinking and problem gambling are a problem. I can only assume that the judgemental PP are largely basing their understanding of gaming on observations of teenagers with poor impulse control (and perhaps enabled by some poor parenting).

It’s November, and soon the annual rash of ‘DH hasn’t come home from the Christmas party and I can’t get hold of him’ threads will start, which means it’s also time for me to give thanks for my kind, clever, supportive husband who barely drinks and uses gaming as a way to stay in touch with his oldest friends.

Before we had our DS he could easily spend 20+ hours a week. I didn't like this, it doesn't seem healthy to me. I game too but never to that extent.

Since DS was born it is much less. Maybe 2 hours a week, but sometimes not at all.

None says its for children.

It doesn't matter what the hobby is really. The problem is how much time is devoted to it and also how that time is prioritized over time with you.

It sounds like it's too much and at the expense of you. To me it would be a red flag to having children with him.

People do perceive gaming as worse than other hobbies due to it being more addictive and anti social that other hobbies.
Q

So just to summarise: an adult spending their time talking to strangers online, sneering at others’ life choices and using a carefully constructed sociolect to exclude outsiders = acceptable adult behaviour. An adult spending their time strategising and problem-solving, and keeping in touch with friends = unacceptable manchildishness. I’m glad to have that clarified for me.

@ThanksItHasPockets well exactly - unfortunately such posters are not actually reading any of this, just posting ‘none he’s an adult’ and congratulating themselves on their Oscar Wilde levels of wit

I’d rather be an immature gamer than bitter like that