What do I do about MIL this Xmas after last year's drama??

[Itsme93]

Hey all,
I've currently got the boyf of 2 years asking me what I'm going to get his parents for Xmas.
I wouldn't usually mind as I love Xmas & buying presents however last year I had a few problems....

1. I bought his parents a fancy coffee machine as they love coffee but strangely enough they never bought themselves one so I thought, great gift. A few days after Xmas, the boyf said his mother was not happy because I 'showed her up'. I asked him how? Apparently my present was too grand as she had only bought me a size 8 crop top (which I think was a recycled present as its definitely not my style and I'm a size 12 - before anyone jumps on this about accidental wrong sizing, his mum is fully aware I'm not a size 8 nor would I ever wear a crop top!) I said it was fab etc thanks so much on the day though.
2. instead of buying his sister, I bought gifts for her little girl instead. Apparently MIL was not impressed by that and that I should have got his sister something.
3. one of the gifts I got his neice was a rocking horse which the little girl loved and Xmas day wouldn't get off it. MIL was not happy that my gift overshadowed hers and said 'I wish this gift had been from me'.
4. last Xmas I bought boyf an updated ipad as his had broken, within 6 weeks he gave it to his sister because the mother said the neice would like it to play games on. I wasn't impressed and said I'd rather have it back. Boyf still gave it to the niece

I rarely see any of his family, find them quite socially inept however I am happy to get them something. I told boyf for him to sort it out this year but he wants to do it seperately and with already asking me what I'm getting them all, he's obviously got expectations which has actually p*ssed me right off.

Do I finish with him lol I really feel like he's part of the problem and I'm fed up of these expectations of me having to impress his family like I'm not good enough, as that's how I feel.... Or do I act like nothing and just do vouchers?

This is where I'm going to be a snog. Dolce gusto, where your coffee is made from nasty tasting pods and fake frothed milk isn't a fancy coffee. It's a budget coffee maker.

Forget the in laws, he gave away the expensive and thoughtful present you bought him after a couple of months.

That is so disrespectful, especially after you said you'd rather have it back.

LTB and his family.

To me one of those nespresso things is a fancy coffee maker. It makes fancy coffee.

Me an' all Villanelle

They are a shower of grabby bastards and you're a fool if you stay with this man. Just think of it - a lifetime of them grabbing whatever they can and criticising you for it at the same time.

Boots aren’t doing the 3 for 2 this year are they?

Pod coffee IS fancy.

V impressed with £16 rocking horse. You are clearly an excellent shopper, OP - thoughtful gifts on a reasonable budget. His family are mean spirited ingrates, and you should not buy them things. He can buy from both of you and then they can whinge at him. 😁
Or break up with him. He & his family sound hard work.

I think the LTB comments are a bit harsh if your relationship is otherwise good. I can also understand you throwing money at the problem last year if you could afford it and didn't know his family that well.

Turn the question around. Ask him what he wants you to get his family for Christmas.

Regardless of whether the coffee machine was or wasn't fancy you don't need to buy them separate gifts.

He buys for his family and vice versa.

Bunch of flowers and bottle of something nice (whatever they drink) as a gift if you are going for a meal - and that's it.

Or ditch him and make your life a whole lot easier.

Get rid of the boyfriend and get some one more in your league. Haven't read all the thread but just my quick input lol.

Just spoke to him again. He just said 'you are going to get my sister something this year aren't you?'
I can't help but think she was really upset I didn't get her anything?!
I just asked what he's getting her, he said he doesnt know yet. I said what about doing joint cos if I do get her something it'll be a set from super drug as I'm not goin mad after last year, his response was 'not that celebrity sht?'
I just said I don't really give a fck, they'll get what they're given and hung up.
I'm seriously annoyed now

OK, I take that back.

Lump of coal it is, then. One apiece if you're feeling generous.

What did he said when you reminded him that your mum bought you a cheap top whìch didn't fit and his sister got you a soap set (or whatever it was). And what did he say when you reminded him that they made nasty comments about the gifts you did get?

My mother used to say that gifts should be given generously and received graciously. His family seem incapable of doing either.

I'd insist he sorts joint gifts from you both after last year's fiasco.

Mind you, I'd probably have dumped him when he gave away the iPad.

@Finfintytint most be a fun place. I was thinking also poach the green ones . Fuck it just leave the toffees. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I reckon if he is that arsed about you buying for his sister you need to do joint presents and then offload the responsibility onto him. Think it’s a bit of a piss take them all having a go at you when you have been generous

Wow - he's rude and he's grasping - he really doesn't sound like a keeper

Yeah, finish with him tbh.

I can’t believe people like this actually exist ie the massively high maintenance and deranged MIL and the spineless boyfriend. Not that I don’t believe you OP.

Finish it now: not too close to Christmas to be seen as a massive meanie. Spend the money you forked out last year on beautiful thoughtful gifts for ungrateful weirdos on yourself.

YANBU and I really wouldn't do it this year if I were you. Nothing will be good enough by the sounds of it. If you must a voucher for a shop and craft set for the DN.

Repeat with a nice present for his dn. Superdrug pressies for for his mum and sister. If you must.

However they have been disrespectful and rude. If you're not a doormat. Nice gift for the dn and don't go. I'm not hugely confrontational but I wouldnt be treated or spoken to like that by anyone.

Get BF a Barbie doll - regifting made easy

(Or an action man if you want to be PC)

It's only just November! I'm thinking, if he's like this now, when you're 'early days', what's he going to be like in 5 or 10 years? His family sound similarly difficult. It all sounds far too hard work. It's up to you, obviously, but it sounds to me like you'd be better off calling it a day and enjoying Christmas on your terms.

The coffee set was lovely and would've been more expensive in the shops if they'd looked. You did really well finding a rocking horse that cheaply. As someone said, you're a good shopper. I think you probably should've bought the sister something small and her daughter something smaller really. But as I said before, your gifts were genuinely kind and thoughtful, it's him creating all the issues and stress here!

Honestly? I would ditch him. You've got no kids together I assume. He sounds like a massive dickhead and his family sound horrible. Why would you tie yourself to this forever, just imagine yourself with two kids and forever being told you need to get shiny gadgets for auntie Katie and granny and the cousins but your kids will get something from the pound shop or nothing at all?? and it will be the same every year. And you will keep going because every year you hope it will be different. Nah sack that off.

Nobody in the world buys separate gifts for in laws. That's just... weird.

Joint gifts. Bung him £50 so he can get something a bit nicer than he otherwise would have. He knows them. He will get them something they want and it will be nicer than the two smaller presents from each of you.

I'd message him and say "Christmas presents are already stressing us out. Look I'd have spent £20 on each of them. I'll give you the £60 and you can get something from us jointly that you know they'll like that's a bit nicer than you'd have afforded otherwise."