Ds’s friend stayed for sleepover and no ones come to collect him

[YabaDabaBoo]

Ds’s friend (both 10) stayed for a sleepover last night after they went trick or treating together. They’ve been friends since nursery so we know him very well and know the parents fairly well. We don’t socialise with them but the boys often have sleepovers at each other’s house. Sometimes we will do the school run for each other. We always chat in the playground.

Friends df works night shifts so we agreed to have him stay as his dm is away with work. He said he will be back to pick him up today between 10.30/11 as he needs to drop him off at his grandparents before lunch.

It’s after 1pm now and he’s not here. It’s very unlike him. They’ve never been this late before. If ever they were running late they’d always call and let us know.

I’ve tried the df’s mobile several times and left a message. I’ve also tried the dm but hers is just going to vml. I don’t what else to do, if anything.

Obviously, I’ve given the boys lunch and they’re very happy playing video games. Should I be doing something else?

As others have said I bet the dad has gone to sleep and forgotten to set an alarm. My DH works nights and he's always up by now so hopefully the dad contacts you soon.

Have you got any other links or mutual friends with the parents on Facebook even if the parents themselves arent. Just thinking someone else may know where grandparents are.

I'm sure the dad has just fallen asleep but you're doing the right thing in trying to work out what's wrong asap so that the child doesnt get upset or worried more than he may already be.

I would take the kids there. Give the house a good knock and then just say “oh well maybe he’s at the shops sorting dinner” to the kid if there’s no answer.

The kid might even know where there’s a spare key of it really comes to it.

The only thing that can make the kid more worried is if you get too worried. But if you make popping over there just seem blasé (maybe on the way to a shop yourself or something too) it can be ok.

You can simply say 'your dad must have fallen asleep after his night shift with his phone. Do you know your grandparents' address? I can drop you over, they'll be wondering where you are. I'll message your dad that you're there."

Why would that make him worry. Your not suggesting anything sinister at all.

I think you should fake and errand too and say 'we'll pop by your house on the way back and see if we've beaten him home'. If there's no answer then head back to yours saying you must have missed him along the way.
The child is 10. His dad is 3 or 4 hours late. He must know something is off.

Don't leave someone else's 10byear old unattended,every child and parent is different.
Continue planning for your night out. I'm sure it will be resolved by then.
Do you know anyone else nearby who could knock on the dad's door?
Do you know where mum is/works to try and contact her?

I think your plan is a good one. I’m sorry this has happened on this day- I really hope your plans this evening aren’t ruined Xx

mankyfourthtoe
I went with what you suggested and played it off as dad said he may need a couple hours of extra sleep so I would drop him at grandparents. They live about 1/2 hr drive away, he knows the name of the town, but not the road they live on. The only thing he can tell me is that they have a red front door.

I have left text messages on both parents phones, as well as the missed calls.

The only other thing I can do is phone his dm’s work office and see if there’s any way they can get in touch with her. I will wait until dh goes over on his way home. If still nothing, I will phone her office as I know the name of the company she works at.

I think the grandparents must be worried and are likely calling him as well to find out what's going on if they were expecting their grandson around lunchtime. I would hang on until 4pm then ask your husband to pop over and knock at the door. You really need to have this boy away by 5pm when your own children will be getting babysat by their grandparents so you and your husband can go to your night out

Could you not phone her office now rather than waiting?

I think I would pop over with all the kids and carry on the he must have fallen asleep line, I'm sure that's what happened anyway! Itll give him a good story to guilt trip tell at a.futire point!

I wouldn't pretend you're spoken to his dad though. No point making up stories (plus the dad would probably have mentioned the grandparents' address after all, so not realistic).

Weird! Can you brief your DH to go home via the boy's house so that he can rouse Dad and save some time or do the locations not really work out?

If you know the mum’s office, I’d phone now.

What if something serious has happened to the dad but you haven’t told anyone he hasn’t turned up?

If he’s gone missing or is hurt or ill, you are seriously delaying any help getting to him.

I would phone the office now. If you wait they may have gone home early etc. etc.

hope you hear something soon OP

I'm pretty confused by this whole thread - the kid is old enough to understand time, he knows his dad is way late, anything other than talking sensibly to him - "he's probably fallen asleep after the night shift, do you want to hang around here for longer, or should we go bang on the door?"

Equally confused by how it would impact the night out, even he's still not surfaced at 5pm it's just another kid for your GP's to "babysit", it's not as if he's actually a huge inconvenience.

If it is anything really serious and not just overslept, then any sort of pretence about having talked to the dad or anything is really harsh for the kid, and you are going to want to help your son's friend out.

Ah, crap I see you've said it to him about his dad asking. Sorry took me a while to post due to redoing stupid auto posts.

Call him mum's office now. No delay necessary.

Oh no such bad luck it’s happened on a day when you’re due to have a night out! I’m sure he’s fallen asleep and at least they’ll owe you big time for this later! Do you know their landline number - that could wake him if you ring it a few times!

I am trying to be breezy but I think the boy knows something’s up. I mean, it’s getting to 4 hours late now and he’s 10.

Dh just phoned and said he’s going to try and leave work even earlier and swing by his house on the way back.

I’m not going to lie, I am a little worried now.

hope he has woken up now.

I know you've mentioned they're not piss takers but part of me is wondering if the parents took the opportunity to have a night away together and are ignoring your calls today as they're spending the day together wherever they stayed? Seems weird that neither are picking up theirs phones.

It's such rotten luck this would happen when you've got a night out with DH. I think it's most likely the dad has fallen asleep, but I hope he wakes up and calls you soon!

Where does the father work? First thing I'd be doing is phoning his work to check he actually made his shift last night.

Then I'd be tracking down the grandparents.
A 10 year old should be able to easily show you on google maps where they live.

I’m not going to lie, I am a little worried now

I would be worried too.

I don’t understand why you haven’t rung the mum’s office?