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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ds’s friend stayed for sleepover and no ones come to collect him

384 replies

YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 13:16

Ds’s friend (both 10) stayed for a sleepover last night after they went trick or treating together. They’ve been friends since nursery so we know him very well and know the parents fairly well. We don’t socialise with them but the boys often have sleepovers at each other’s house. Sometimes we will do the school run for each other. We always chat in the playground.

Friends df works night shifts so we agreed to have him stay as his dm is away with work. He said he will be back to pick him up today between 10.30/11 as he needs to drop him off at his grandparents before lunch.

It’s after 1pm now and he’s not here. It’s very unlike him. They’ve never been this late before. If ever they were running late they’d always call and let us know.

I’ve tried the df’s mobile several times and left a message. I’ve also tried the dm but hers is just going to vml. I don’t what else to do, if anything.

Obviously, I’ve given the boys lunch and they’re very happy playing video games. Should I be doing something else?

OP posts:
YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 13:58

Neither of the parents are on Facebook, as far as I know, but I’ll check the grandparents names and see if I come up with anything

OP posts:
AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 01/11/2019 13:58

He’s almost certainly asleep but in the absence of quickly being able to pop over there I would hang tight for a bit, don’t worry the kid.

inwood · 01/11/2019 13:59

Sounds a bit of an overdramtic response. Certainly not one I would leave two ten years alone for, when one hasn't been left before.

I'd wait before doing anything.

Girlsmummy30 · 01/11/2019 14:00

Does the little boy know where his grandparents live? Mabey take him straight there instead

sauvignonblancplz · 01/11/2019 14:01

The boy must know where the grandparents live , go there now.

Pinkkahori · 01/11/2019 14:02

Does he know where his grandparents live? I have a 10 year old and she definitely does, even the ones who lives in a different town from us.

SchadenfiendeUnmortified · 01/11/2019 14:03

If the Grandparents were expecting them before 11.00, I'm surprised that they haven't tried ringing or calling the home by now. Surely that would wake up a sleeping dad, if someone ws banging on the door.

itswinetime · 01/11/2019 14:04

I'd be hesitant about question the friend much more...the more odd questions you ask like what are you grandparents names where to the leave the more he will start to no something is up and worry... I know it's hard but sit tight keep reassuring him and act like everything is normal that's the best thing you can do for the boy and his parents.

Bunnybigears · 01/11/2019 14:05

Have you asked the boy where his grandparents live? I would just tell the boy there has been a change of plan and he is staying with you a bit longer. Then send DH to call in the Dad on the way home from work.

GunpowderGelatine · 01/11/2019 14:06

Does he know his grandparents address??
If you do go later in and dad's not answering but you think he's in maybe call 101 for a welfare check?

Purpleartichoke · 01/11/2019 14:12

This happened to me once while babysitting. It was pre-cell phones so contact wasn’t as easy. The Mom had been in an accident and was in the hospital. It got sorted eventually, but as a teenage babysitter, it was quite terrifying.

I would just tell the guest he is staying longer because dad had a work issue and then stay out until your partner gets home. I agree, taking the kid with you to his house may cause distress.

YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 14:14

As others have mentioned, I’m worried if I start questioning him about where his grandparents live, he will think something is wrong.

Honestly, any other time it would be ok and we would be fine to keep the boys for longer. Today is just the worst possible timing for this.

My parents are coming over around 5pm and babysitting for us as DH and I are having a very rare night out. That’s why he’s finishing work at 4pm. We have tickets for a theatre show at 7.30pm.

OP posts:
ifonly4 · 01/11/2019 14:15

If your DH doesn't get a reply and you suss out at that time there's no way of contacting grandparents, then I'd phone the police or phone Mum's work (if you can do before 5.30pm) - yes, she's away with work but she deserves to know if there's a problem and can also contact grandparents to reassure them/ask them to have him overnight.

InvisibleWomenMustBeRead · 01/11/2019 14:17

I'd be worried too Op, especially if they are not CFs and the boy knew he should have been picked up by 11am. I'm not sure what you can do, however, other than wait for your DH to get home from work and one of you head round there. Presumably the grandparents will be worried too if they were expecting him a few hours ago - id expect they will have gone round to see if everything is ok.

PuppyMonkey · 01/11/2019 14:18

I know it sounds daft but have you tried texting as well as calling and leaving voicemails? Sometimes I miss my phone ringing but the way my text alert sounds is enough for me to hear it? Also text mum too, she might see it come up on her phone home screen?

And do you know their landline number?

Invisimamma · 01/11/2019 14:18

Why not just take him to his grandparents?

coconuttelegraph · 01/11/2019 14:19

Can you fit all the children in your car? I'd drive them all over, leave a note on the door in case the Dad comes while you are out, he's probably asleep but a doorbell is quite likley to wake him up.

Is there's only one route between the tow houses you'd see him if you crossed paths on the way

Bellaxx8 · 01/11/2019 14:20

I would just drive over there with the boys in the car and let them know you have plans

HarrietsHat · 01/11/2019 14:20

I think you need to carry on as planned and get ready to go out tonight, get your DH to call at the house after work if there has been no sign of the boy's dad and if he isn't there then that is the time to get the boy to take you to the grandparents' house. In the meantime, keep ringing. I understand why you are worried, and I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation but in your shoes I would be anxious.

itswinetime · 01/11/2019 14:21

Ask dh to go there after work. Or if you have any mutual friends can you ask them to pop by?

Are you sure they don't have a land line by phone book.

I really think he will probably wake about 15.30-1600 in a mad panic but if not that's when I would think of asking the boy questions about his grandparents till then I don't think there is much else you can do.

OhDeari · 01/11/2019 14:21

Best bet would be to ask boy for directions to grandparents house.

StudentHelp · 01/11/2019 14:21

Hope everything is okay, OP

PaddyF0dder · 01/11/2019 14:23

Bookmarking.

mankyfourthtoe · 01/11/2019 14:23

"Dad said I could drop you at gp house if he's still asleep, but he forgot to say where they live, do you know?"

Zebraaa · 01/11/2019 14:24

With your latest update, that you have plans, I would drive over and knock the door to wake dad up.

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