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Original poster

Ds’s friend stayed for sleepover and no ones come to collect him

384 replies

YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 13:16

Ds’s friend (both 10) stayed for a sleepover last night after they went trick or treating together. They’ve been friends since nursery so we know him very well and know the parents fairly well. We don’t socialise with them but the boys often have sleepovers at each other’s house. Sometimes we will do the school run for each other. We always chat in the playground.

Friends df works night shifts so we agreed to have him stay as his dm is away with work. He said he will be back to pick him up today between 10.30/11 as he needs to drop him off at his grandparents before lunch.

It’s after 1pm now and he’s not here. It’s very unlike him. They’ve never been this late before. If ever they were running late they’d always call and let us know.

I’ve tried the df’s mobile several times and left a message. I’ve also tried the dm but hers is just going to vml. I don’t what else to do, if anything.

Obviously, I’ve given the boys lunch and they’re very happy playing video games. Should I be doing something else?

OP posts:
kilburnfrenchie · 01/11/2019 13:46

Unless having them is a real pbm I would stay put and wait for them to call. Not head off on a 45 min round trip....

itswinetime · 01/11/2019 13:47

It makes no sense to me to drive all the way to the boys house wake the dad up only to have to have him still follow you back?

Either take all the kids or just wait it out he will wake up soon or the mum will check her phone. It won't just be you trying to get In touch the grandparents will to someone will get through soon

Pinkkahori · 01/11/2019 13:47

I wouldn't leave someone else's 10 year old that hasn't left before. Take them along.

SmileCheese · 01/11/2019 13:47

Why wouldn’t you take them with you

Surely you wouldn't take the 10 year old as if god forbid something terrible has happened or dad doesn't answer the door it's just going to stress him out and make him anxious.

Its much better he is left playing with a friend whilst the OP goes and checks. She could then pretend she'd nipped to the shops or something so the poor boy doesn't worry that something terrible has happened to his dad.

wigornian · 01/11/2019 13:47

Don’t leave them! He’s not your son but is your responsibility. Take them all in the car and leave a note on your front door.

Original poster
YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 13:47

MrsElijahMikaelson1

I did think that, but in case he isn‘t there, that may worry his ds. He has now asked me a couple of times if his df is on his way as he knows he was being picked up by 11. I just told him his df is running late and I’ll let him know when he’s on his way. He doesn’t seem that worried now, but he may if we go knocking on his door and no ones there

OP posts:
CastleCrasher · 01/11/2019 13:47

Df could well be asleep, but where is dm today? Work with phone turned off or in locker, or would you expect to be able to get through to her usually?

Batcrazy101 · 01/11/2019 13:48

Why wouldn’t you take them with you and if his Df is there you can leave him?

Because if dad doesn't answer you don't want to scare the son.

I am sure everything will be absolutely fine but there is always the small chance it wont be.

KnickerBockerAndrew · 01/11/2019 13:48

I wouldn't leave them for that long, what if the DF comes back in that time?

Alb1 · 01/11/2019 13:48

Can he remember were his grandparents live? You could call round there with the boys, they may be very worried if he’s not shown and they don’t have your number. And if you leave the boys alone and he turns up flustered as he’s overslept to find them home alone it may make the situation quite awkward.

Bluerussian · 01/11/2019 13:48

It might disturb the boy if his father isn't there, at the moment he doesn't think anything is wrong. I hope it isn't, op, and that it's something quite simple like car breaking down.

funnylittlefloozie · 01/11/2019 13:49

Grandparents may be in the phone book. Try calling 118 118 and seeing if they are listed.

OpheliaBee · 01/11/2019 13:50

They’re plenty old enough to be left alone for a short while but it seems a bit of a faff to drive all the way over there and back without him if his dad will then have to come and get him anyway. I’d probably just leave it until mid/late afternoon when he’ll probably wake up in a panic. Is there any other way you might be able to reach grandparents? Facebook maybe? As a night shift worker, I’d probably buy you an enormous gift of you’d kept my DS and let me sleep it off!

Pinkkahori · 01/11/2019 13:50

If something has happened and someone turns up at the OPs door with no adult present that would surely be worse.

Johnsonsfiat · 01/11/2019 13:50

Give it a bit longer. It's a bit of a panicky response at this stage. Maybe go over in a couple of hours.

HelloDulling · 01/11/2019 13:51

I’d just hang on for a bit. When your partner gets home one of you can go over there if he’s still not appeared.

LifeSpectator · 01/11/2019 13:51

seems a bit mad to drive over there without his son, if he's woken you could pass each other and he'll arive at yours with no one in, except two kids who shouldnt open door, and if he hasnt you wake him he has to then trail you to get his son, so i'd scrap that plan, see if the 10year old knows the grandparents name they may have a land line you can search directory for, or do you know the dms work place maybe someone can contact her.

spiderlight · 01/11/2019 13:52

I agree - don't leave them. He's probably fast asleep. Keep ringing, try to get hold of grandparents, and sit tight in case he turns up.

itswinetime · 01/11/2019 13:52

I would stay put honestly...if you leave and the dad wakes bombs it out of the house and you cross paths.

Try and find a land line. Try and see if anyone else can go round and check you stay with the boys and be prepared for frantic phone calls when either parents next see their phones

Raphael34 · 01/11/2019 13:52

*placemarking. I’m actually a little worried for him :/

SurfingGiantess · 01/11/2019 13:52

I'd also wait a few more hours as he's likely just asleep. If you have noone to mind the kids I'd wait until you do or else bring them in an hour or two. It's probably the fact his wife isn't home that he's just forgotten his alarm and she's not there to collect him so it's probably just out of the norm and he wasn't thinking. Or slept through his alarm. In the meantime you could txt the mum for the gp phone number. They're probably also wondering where they are.

Batcrazy101 · 01/11/2019 13:53

OP i think they will be ok with you leaving their son in a safe environment when they realize they were not contactable for 3 hours after they said they would be there for DS and you were concerned for their safety

Original poster
YabaDabaBoo · 01/11/2019 13:54

I will sit tight. Dh finishes work at 4pm today so if I haven’t heard anything by then, I will send him over there on his way home.

I don’t know exactly where the dm is, just that she’s out the country for work. That’s all the details I was given. When I asked the boy, he said she’s in Europe and back in two days.

As I said, I have tried the dm’s phone but it’s just going through to vml. I have sent her a text.

OP posts:
OhDeari · 01/11/2019 13:54

I'm sure he just fell asleep

Zebraaa · 01/11/2019 13:55

Can’t believe how dramatic people are on here! Just like thinking the guest was dead in bed on that other thread.
He’s a night shift worker! If he forgot to set an alarm (mistakes happen!) he probably won’t wake up till 4/5pm, like a lot of night shift workers.