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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is OH?

138 replies

nicannie · 31/10/2019 16:56

Hormones might be kicking in - in 21w pregnant!

Anyways, today I cut the top of a pumpkin off, to place on the top of my dogs head and take a quick Halloween photo. I thought it was cute and no harm done right? WRONG.

OH saw the photo, totally freaked out. Told me he didn't want to speak or hear from me and that he would see me when he got home. He didn't like the thought of the dog having a bit of pumpkin in his head, I get he doesn't like having any outfits or what not on the dogs but cmon? Anyways, I told him he overreacted and asked who shat in his cornflakes, which didn't go down well.

Now he's told me after his work he's coming home to collect the dogs from our house and go take them to his Mums and stay there (didn't specify for how long mind you). His mum has always wanted to keep our dogs for herself, she steps on my toes with everything whenever she can which is why this has annoyed me even more!

AIBU to have did that with the pumpkin and take the photo? Or is he BU to react the way he has and tell me he's coming home taking the dogs away from me and stay at his mums leaving me in the house on my own when he knows that will really upset me....

Now I've written this out, it seems really silly. But it has actually got me quite worked up and upset.

OP posts:
FavouriteSoul · 31/10/2019 16:59

He's overreacting slightly...
Is there something underlying that's pissed him off more than this pumpkin dog photo and he's using it as an excuse?

Mollpop · 31/10/2019 17:06

If you just placed it on the dog's head (rather than trying to strap it on in some way) then I guess it's not too bad.

Leeds2 · 31/10/2019 17:09

He's being ridiculous.

Ponoka7 · 31/10/2019 17:09

I'd say he's using it as an excuse to rehome the dogs.

What is your relationship like in general?

Are the dogs particularly his? Surely you share residency now you are having an actual baby?

CanuckBC · 31/10/2019 17:10

So, you took a cute pic of the dog with a pumpkin piece on its head and your other half has lost the plot! Is this a normal reaction of his?

Can you post the pic for us?

Whose dogs originally? Yours? His? Got together?

I would send a text that the dogs are not going anywhere. If he chooses to go to his moms he is welcome to it.

TheGongGoesBong · 31/10/2019 17:11

Are you talking about the little but with the stalk on it? If you are and you only placed it in top of the dog's head, I think he is massively overreacting. Does the dog have a pumpkin allergy or something? Makes no sense.

SanFranBear · 31/10/2019 17:11

You're 5 months pregnant and he's staying away because you put a bit of pumpkin on a dogs head? FFS, that's insane.. YAN even remotely U!

MerryDeath · 31/10/2019 17:11

?! there must be more to it...

Reallynowdear · 31/10/2019 17:12

Who's dogs are they?

If they belong to you jointly, do not let him take them anywhere.

Phillipa12 · 31/10/2019 17:13

If the dogs are both of yours tell him he can fuck off to his mums but the dogs are staying put, massive over reaction from him.......

Zaphodsotherhead · 31/10/2019 17:13

she steps on my toes with everything whenever she can which is why this has annoyed me even more!

Hmm. Is your DH in thrall to his mother, perhaps? Does he tend to put her first, go running to her at every little difficulty and come whenever she crooks her finger at him?

Because that won't change. Not ever. Don't let him take the dog, nobody in the WORLD would accuse you of cruelty or abuse or anything other than maybe taking a slightly daft photo.

He's a prick. And I'd take bets he's a mummy's boy too.

ISmellBabies · 31/10/2019 17:17

He can't take your dogs away! Lock the door and leave a key in it tell him he's not coming in until he's calmed down. Also leave the miserable prick.

CleanAndPaidFor · 31/10/2019 17:17

I'm sorry OP. Your OH sounds like a monumental arsehole. Tell him you don't want him home. He can run to Mummy, but the dogs stay with you.

MrsMozartMkII · 31/10/2019 17:17

Well that's bonkers...

Was the dog distressed in any way? Are you in any sort of habit of giving the dogs a bad time? And, are they his dogs or do they belong to both of you?

roseapothecary · 31/10/2019 17:17

Dont let him take the dogs. It sounds like he has been waiting to do this and is jumping on the photo as an excuse.
Have you got anywhere you can go with the dogs? Or anyone that can come over to give you moral support?

AuntieDolly · 31/10/2019 17:17

Does he always talk to you like that? Who does he think he is? I'd be tempted to say if he takes the dogs to his mothers don't bother coming back!

Lunafortheloveogod · 31/10/2019 17:22

Dogs can eat pumpkin, it’s not toxic or harmful (besides allergies)

Does he actually like/want the dogs? Or could this be his new out for giving them away?

If the dog didn’t want pumpkin in it’s head it’d have moved. Mine wouldn’t hold still for it.. nor would the tiny one stay in a pumpkin.

Send him to his mums himself, the dogs will be fine in their own home.

maybe someone actually shat in his cornflakes

Soubriquet · 31/10/2019 17:31

He is being major unreasonable

You put a bit of pumpkin on their head you didn’t shove it up their arse...though maybe you ought to put the whole thing up your husbands.

I reckon he’s looking for an excuse to leave you and this is it

HelloGeeniee · 31/10/2019 17:31

How ridiculous. My cats have been wearing bats wings for the last hour. No harm done lol

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 31/10/2019 17:32

This is obviously not about the pumpkin. It sounds like he has jumped on the first excuse he could to justify abandoning you. How has he been about your pregnancy generally?

It's easy to say that you shouldn't let him take the dogs, but you can't really stop him without risking harm to yourself or your baby. No harm inletting him know exactly what you think of his behaviour though. It sounds like your relationship is in terminal trouble anyway. Is there anyone who can come over to support you?

mrsmuddlepies · 31/10/2019 17:36

It wasn't tactful of you to respond to him with an aggressive comment about shitting in his cornflakes. Perhaps a big smile and an apology for upsetting him might clear the air. Unless, you don't want to clear the air?

Bellringer · 31/10/2019 17:37

Bit of a 🚩I think

steff13 · 31/10/2019 17:37

Why does his mom want your dogs? That's so weird. You can't just have someone else's dogs. I hope she doesn't feel the same about your baby.

I'd text him, tell him he's not taking the dogs, but he's welcome to go to his mother's and stay there.

user1480880826 · 31/10/2019 17:40

He’s a lunatic. Is he always such an arsehole?

Soubriquet · 31/10/2019 17:40

@mrsmuddlepies

Why should she apologise?

He’s the wanker here!

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