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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is OH?

138 replies

nicannie · 31/10/2019 16:56

Hormones might be kicking in - in 21w pregnant!

Anyways, today I cut the top of a pumpkin off, to place on the top of my dogs head and take a quick Halloween photo. I thought it was cute and no harm done right? WRONG.

OH saw the photo, totally freaked out. Told me he didn't want to speak or hear from me and that he would see me when he got home. He didn't like the thought of the dog having a bit of pumpkin in his head, I get he doesn't like having any outfits or what not on the dogs but cmon? Anyways, I told him he overreacted and asked who shat in his cornflakes, which didn't go down well.

Now he's told me after his work he's coming home to collect the dogs from our house and go take them to his Mums and stay there (didn't specify for how long mind you). His mum has always wanted to keep our dogs for herself, she steps on my toes with everything whenever she can which is why this has annoyed me even more!

AIBU to have did that with the pumpkin and take the photo? Or is he BU to react the way he has and tell me he's coming home taking the dogs away from me and stay at his mums leaving me in the house on my own when he knows that will really upset me....

Now I've written this out, it seems really silly. But it has actually got me quite worked up and upset.

OP posts:
WhiteVixen · 31/10/2019 17:42

I think we clearly need to see the photo because it sounds adorable but essentially, he is completely overreacting and being a bit of a twat about it. Taking the dogs and going to his mother’s?! Such a ridiculous response.

Selmababies · 31/10/2019 17:42

Does he have somewhere he wants to go out to this evening?
I suspect he won't be staying in at his mums house all evening/night?

ffswhatnext · 31/10/2019 17:43

I’m always popping random things on my cats heads. Been doing it so long one of them comes to me to put whatever I’m holding on his head. Daft sod loves it, struts around proudly, gets annoyed when it falls off, rinse and repeat until he looses attention. (Not posting pics as I don’t like anonymous accounts linking).

There’s more to it.

Candle1000 · 31/10/2019 17:44

I reckon he’s using this as a convenient excuse to fuck off to his mums. Has his behaviour been strange/odd/suspicious lately?

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 31/10/2019 17:46

What the hell? Why does his mum want your dogs? Are they yours, his or did you get them together? How long have you been together?

MsChatterbox · 31/10/2019 17:46

Yanbu. I feel sorry for you that you will have to deal with lots more things like this but related to baby. Hopefully you guys can work through this and he can improve communication etc!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 31/10/2019 17:46

Are they your dogs/his/both? I think this is about something else and just an excuse to fuck off.

WooomanMoomin · 31/10/2019 17:47

I also think that it’s an excuse to rehome the dogs. Don’t let him take them. He can fuck off to his mums, but the dogs stay.

Bubblysqueak · 31/10/2019 17:49

Surely if the dog was unhappy about it he would have shaken it off? Massive over reaction. There is no way I would be letting him take the dog anywhere.

shouldhavecalleditoatabix · 31/10/2019 17:49

@Lunafortheloveogod I chuckled at this imagining you trying to pop a tiny dog in a pumpkin for a cute pic 😂

Sheld0r · 31/10/2019 17:51

You're lucky your pooch will stay still for the photo! There's no way mine would. There must be more to it that this. It's a pumpkin! Complete over-reaction. I agree, we must see this photo to be absolutely sure YANBU though Grin

Smilebehappy123 · 31/10/2019 17:52

I'm laughing reading this what an utter bell end he is

JasonPollack · 31/10/2019 17:53

What that's nuts? Don't let him in. He can go to his mams on his own and you can keep your dogs. Put the chain on.

mrcow · 31/10/2019 17:56

AIBU that I’ve just gone and googled pictures of dogs with pumpkins on their heads? Grin

Your partner is overreacting massively!

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 31/10/2019 17:58

I've got a great photo of the cat with a beer can balanced on his head.

Got to be more to it....

woodymiller · 31/10/2019 18:00

Well any sane mil would tell him to get over himself, stop stressing out his pregnant DW & kick his arse all the way back to your home but this is Mumsnet and sane mils are like hens' teeth. Agree with PPs, he's been waiting for a reason to re-home the dogs and yes it's a red flag. YADNBU

Original poster
nicannie · 31/10/2019 18:11

@FavouriteSoul I think maybe he's had a bad day? And he just blew up at me?? Possibly....

@Mollpop there was no strap nothing, just the top of it cut of with the little stalk and I held his head under his chin and gently placed it on just to keep him still for the photo. That was all

@Leeds2 thank god it ain't just me

@Ponoka7 I see where your coming from. But one of the dogs was bought as a present from him to me, and the other we bought together. He wouldn't ever want to rehome them - he absolutely dotes on them no joke. As do I..

OP posts:
Original poster
nicannie · 31/10/2019 18:15

@CanuckBC this isn't a normal reaction from him at all..... I have quite a famous IG page for the dogs so I'm worried if I post the photo it gives away who I am? Is that stupid? Got together also. I tried that and he replied 'I can do what I want' - typical

@TheGongGoesBong yeah so I cut the top quarter say if a tiny pumpkin and scraped it all out so it was mega thin and light and had it on his head, nothing big or round or like squished on etc. No allergy, makes it worse I did it last year the EXACT same thing and he didn't say a bad word to me, hence I really did not expect this reaction

@SanFranBear glad u agree, my mum said the exact same as she's just been round !

OP posts:
Original poster
nicannie · 31/10/2019 18:16

@MerryDeath there honestly isn't, I wish there was

@Reallynowdear both joint ownership, as in both KC registered owners to the dogs

@Phillipa12 I tried that but he basically said he c and I what he likes and I don't even have the energy to argue, he is doing it as he knows it will annoy me I think. Slightly controlling now I think about it ?

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 31/10/2019 18:19

Eh? So if he doesn't like an outfit or hat you put on the baby is he going to take them to his mum's too?

Original poster
nicannie · 31/10/2019 18:22

@Zaphodsotherhead he is a major mummy's boy!! But also when his mum is in the wrong in his eyes he is the first to come out and say it, they also have their fall outs to be fair. Ur last comment, I just wrote that before reading, he is a mummy's boy! But he doesn't usually run to her for a lot, she isn't in control of stuff in his life so to speak.

@ISmellBabies the scores out bit 😂😂

@CleanAndPaidFor so I told him to run to mummy and that he can go stay at hers, but the dogs are staying here and that's when he's like no I will do what I want and they are coming with me

OP posts:
Reallynowdear · 31/10/2019 18:23

God, he sounds awful.

He's using the dogs to punish you for something, but surely it can't be because you put a piece of fruit on a dogs head fgs.

Is he always like this?

PinkDaffodil2 · 31/10/2019 18:28

There must be more going on than just the adorable sounding dog pumpkin hat. Do you think he’s struggling with becoming a father? What is he going to be like if he disagrees with you about when parenting - hide from you and whisk baby off to his Mum’s?

Original poster
nicannie · 31/10/2019 18:29

@MrsMozartMkII dog in no way stressed. Absolutely not, the dogs are like my most loved things in my life. He knows that too. The dogs are attached to my side, sleep beside me when I'm at home. Follow me in all rooms. They genuinely are attached to me so no problems on that front. Everyone jokes about how spoiled they are and that they think they are human children! Ps they bring to both of us.

@roseapothecary I feel like I don't want to go anywhere with the dogs as at the end of the day this is our home. And the dogs are settled here. They have their garden, their beds etc etc. My mum has came round to give me some support and calm me down, and my sister is here now as well. OH still hasn't arrived home, he will have went to his mums after work probably 😂

@AuntieDolly no he doesn't actually. It's came quite as a surprise. As id never have agreed to start a family of this was going to be the way I was spoken too if you catch my drift? I certainly won't be apologising and ur right, he will be told if he goes to his mums he can just not come back!

@Lunafortheloveogod can see where your coming from but definitely not. The dogs are his side kicks. He takes them to work every single day when I amnt working from home. He dotes on them, as do they on him. I tried to tell him this is the dogs home and they stay here and he basically said he will do as he pleases....

OP posts:
Slappadabass · 31/10/2019 18:30

He's overreacting, he's been way way way over the top. My dogs currently dressed up, he doesn't give two shits, it's a bit of fun.
God help you when you have your baby, Is he going to storm off to his mum's with the baby everytime you do something he doesn't agree with.
He's been pathetic and childish.

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