Or is OH?

[nicannie]

Hormones might be kicking in - in 21w pregnant!

Anyways, today I cut the top of a pumpkin off, to place on the top of my dogs head and take a quick Halloween photo. I thought it was cute and no harm done right? WRONG.

OH saw the photo, totally freaked out. Told me he didn't want to speak or hear from me and that he would see me when he got home. He didn't like the thought of the dog having a bit of pumpkin in his head, I get he doesn't like having any outfits or what not on the dogs but cmon? Anyways, I told him he overreacted and asked who shat in his cornflakes, which didn't go down well.

Now he's told me after his work he's coming home to collect the dogs from our house and go take them to his Mums and stay there (didn't specify for how long mind you). His mum has always wanted to keep our dogs for herself, she steps on my toes with everything whenever she can which is why this has annoyed me even more!

AIBU to have did that with the pumpkin and take the photo? Or is he BU to react the way he has and tell me he's coming home taking the dogs away from me and stay at his mums leaving me in the house on my own when he knows that will really upset me....

Now I've written this out, it seems really silly. But it has actually got me quite worked up and upset.

Thanks @Bluetrews25 - I'll be alert for sure !

@TowelNumber42 agreed. I'm going to leave him upstairs sulking.... I'm quite happy downstairs watching tv with the dog having a cuppa... if he wants to chat he can come down

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Wow can no one spot a halfterm post anymore? This is an entire wind up. Has to be.

Is he usually this much of a twat?

@Andysbestadventure thanks for your support. Where I am half term isn't still happening currently - I don't do wind up posts but believe what you want! Unfortunately this is my disaster of a life and OH so believe it's a joke cos I can see how it reads as a joke

@Witchinaditch fortunately nope... that's why it's shocked me so much to be fair

How was he overnight?

@JonSlow thank you for asking. I had an early bath and went in to bed, I said he could relocate himself downstairs if he wished, which he did (petty!). I fell asleep way early, pre 9pm (I'm pregnant so I'm excusing myself lol). Then I thought if he's really trying to annoy me he will sleep in the spare room, but long behold the alarm went off at 6am for him this morning and he was in the bed.

He got ready for work, fed and let the dogs out as usual, then brought them up to bed to be with me until I get up.... that's me just up! Oh and he also put the bins out, which I thought he would maybe have forgotten about

I've decided I won't be messaging him to let him know I'm up and how I'm feeling like I usually do. I'll wait and see if he contacts me and if he doesn't I'll see what he's got to say when he gets home. It appears to me as though he has said those things yesterday, regretted it, came home, too stubborn to admit it and now just avoiding me.

See what he says, but i would be telling him that you did not stuff the dogs head inside a pumpkin, you placed a food item on top of his head, and his reaction was wholly inappropriate. Any bad day that he had been having does not excuse him taking it out on you and he would do well to remember that. You dont need to jump down his throat but he does need telling that you wont tolerate that behaviour.

@Phillipa12 thank you, I think that's good advice on how to approach it in a calm manner and like you say, not jump down his throat

He's pathetic! God help him if you put your baby in a pumpkin next year like most of Facebook do !

I'm mostly worried at how sheerly OTT his reaction was - even though he never carried through with what he said he'd do (taking the dogs and heading off to his mum's).

It was the ferocity of the reaction without, seemingly, any lead up events. It wasn't as though you'd parted company in bad temper in the morning or anything, was it, OP? You messaged him about the dog out of the blue he went off on one...

I'd be very interested in that man's phone history (I'd would never advocate snooping though). He ignored his pregnant wife all night and stomped off to work without a word? There is something going on somewhere.

Send him the link to this thread and let him read the responses...

Do not send him the link!

Why do people suggest this on every thread where the OH is acting the arse? Stupid suggestion. If he's not mad about the pumpkin he'll be mad about his partner telling those witches on Mumsnet all about him. Get a grip.

Lighthearted ‘stupid’ suggestion @AskMeHow, but thanks

@20viona agreed - it's now in my list of things now to do 😂

Crikey! Guess you won't be dressing the baby up as a pumpkin next year then......Massive over reaction!!

@Zaphodsotherhead no bad temper or bad partings in the morning at all. We had been chatting through the day about various things back and forth. He messaged me about the dog out of the blue as seen the photo upload on IG !

He spends hardly any time on his phone if I'm being honest. If I ever asked to see it he would be one of those ones who hands me it and tells me to check probably. I guess we argued, he didn't ignore me as I ignored his last message when he said he would do what he wanted at 3pm. He had a busy day so probably worked later (we run our own business) and then I guess went to his mums for tea which isn't unusual and turned up when he did! He said bye etc when he left for work, but there wasn't much more than that (not that I'd want a full chat at 6am mind you!) - maybe there is something going on elsewhere and I'm being a fool. But usually when something bothers him he is very upfront to just openly say, he isn't a dishonest person and certainly doesn't tip toe when he has issues with things

@Sunflowersok haha I wish I could but yeah I take it as a light hearted joke! I'll go with pretending I can't go the conclusion he's being unreasonable when we do speak about it!

After all this, I feel really shit for turning here to discuss this when in the grand scheme of things it seems so small and petty. I feel like all I'm doing now it have in my head he's up to something which wouldn't have crossed my mind and I'm 99.9% sure he isn't and thinking I'll be a single parent when I know that isn't what he would want either, he didn't want a broken home for his baby, his family are really old school, been together since 16, married at 20, had him a bit later on in life. But hormones might be playing a part in the fact I'm now questioning a relationship I'd never have questioned previous to now

I'm sure it's nobody's intention to make you feel shit, Nicannie. And you are probably right that it's something of nothing and it will all have blown over by tonight.

But a lot of us have been in very difficult relationships and we have seen how things can go very very wrong very fast. Maybe we are all seeing your problem through our own lenses?

You need to talk to him and find out what was behind his 'out of character' response, and take it from there.

Yep OP it’s definitely MN fault that you are questioning your otherwise normally wonderful relationship.

He threatened to take away something you presumably care deeply about because he was being cruel and because he was exerting his power, but as you said he is a wonderful man normally.

Good luck.

@Zaphodsotherhead oh no sorry I didn't mean people here made me feel shit, I just meant in general I feel like I've turned to here and now it's almost opened my eyes to other possible things going on maybe.

100%, I hope to get to the bottom of it all one way or another through a calm conversation later probably when he's home from work

@Mollymoo01 that's not what I meant. All I meant was if I didn't turn here I'd have let it blow over and thought nothing of it but now I've brought it here it's opened my eyes to many other things potentially and made me more aware. I've never once said what he did yesterday wasn't cruel, because it was and I did use that word to him that he was being cruel to me unwarranted