Or is OH?

[nicannie]

Hormones might be kicking in - in 21w pregnant!

Anyways, today I cut the top of a pumpkin off, to place on the top of my dogs head and take a quick Halloween photo. I thought it was cute and no harm done right? WRONG.

OH saw the photo, totally freaked out. Told me he didn't want to speak or hear from me and that he would see me when he got home. He didn't like the thought of the dog having a bit of pumpkin in his head, I get he doesn't like having any outfits or what not on the dogs but cmon? Anyways, I told him he overreacted and asked who shat in his cornflakes, which didn't go down well.

Now he's told me after his work he's coming home to collect the dogs from our house and go take them to his Mums and stay there (didn't specify for how long mind you). His mum has always wanted to keep our dogs for herself, she steps on my toes with everything whenever she can which is why this has annoyed me even more!

AIBU to have did that with the pumpkin and take the photo? Or is he BU to react the way he has and tell me he's coming home taking the dogs away from me and stay at his mums leaving me in the house on my own when he knows that will really upset me....

Now I've written this out, it seems really silly. But it has actually got me quite worked up and upset.

@Deemail you may be right, which is worrying

@NoSquirrels yeah I haven't bothered contacting him since 3 when he told me he will do as he pleases. He's literally just walked in the door, said nothing, didn't come in the living room. Let the dogs out by opening the door and went upstairs... maybe he's packing a bag 😂

@madcatladyforever I agree. I think he could have informed me better he wasn't comfortable with the dog having a bit pumpkin on his head, I even apologised but he totally blew up straight away, nothing that built it up just a text saying 'you can't be fucking serious with that pumpkin'

@HollowTalk I know... I wish his mum would tell him that! Fat chance

I'd have taken the dogs to my mums and stayed there too.

For god's sake don't apologise again. Is there anywhere you can go to now? If he's upstairs, just pick up your bag and go off to your mum's or to a friend's.

I would be very clear, tbh. If he carries on this way and tries to take the dogs to his mother's, you will be reconsidering the relationship entirely and he may not be welcome back. This is very concerning behaviour.

Placemarking because this is bizarre

@HollowTalk I feel like I shouldn't have to go anywhere though as this is my home too..

@plightofthealbatross I 100% agree with you! He has been in the house 10 minutes now maybe.. he let the dogs out the living room and didn't come in, went upstairs and he's now watching tv in the bedroom which he NEVER does and the dogs are doing their own thing between upstairs with him and down here with me

@Raphael34 I'm usually the one reading and place marking lol

Oh OP have you read enough threads on here to see that emotional abuse often starts during pregnancy, when they've 'got you' and you are vulnerable? He's controlling, you, punishing you for 'wrongdoing' and threatening to take away the things you love more than anything. (Even more than him?) Watch out, if he doesn't like you loving anything other than him, there may be major strops when baby arrives. A lot of men can't deal with not being their partner's number one focus.
I'm a bit worried for you, OP.

He almost sounds as though he's trying to pick an argument so he can flounce out. Except he hasn't even flounced!

Is he waiting for you to go in to him and throw yourself on his mercy, in tears, wailing that you will do better next time, just please don't go to your mum's and take my dogs?!?!

Because he's coming over as a real tosspot here.

What a twat! Is your sister still there? Think I’d be having to go and ask him what the hell I’d going on and why is he behaving like this. He’s not painted in anything other than red here and is certainly not someone I would be wanting to be sharing my life/having a family with. Wanker!

@Bluetrews25 I know exactly all what you're saying, and hate to but I do agree with it. Is it wrong I'm feeling sorry for myself ?

If my DH did this, it would be truly out of character.

Given that, I'd go up, look at the state of him and probably say, "Want to tell me what's going on now or have a bit of time to yourself first?"

If he persisted in lunatic statements about pumpkins and dogs and mothers, I would not respond, I'd at most say "Well, that makes no sense, clearly you are not ready to talk. I'm going down to watch telly."

When people are being bonkers there's no point arguing with the crazy. It makes everything worse.

@Zaphodsotherhead yes I think that's almost what he wants! Instead he's came home and took himself straight to the room to watch the tv upstairs... I'm watching all my soaps downstairs and just keeping an eye on my thread so I don't get bored and pulled into his childish games

There has to be more to this than a bloody bit of pumpkin on a dogs head

You'd be abnormal if you didn't feel sorry for yourself at this behaviour!

Please be alert, look after yourself and be aware of the signs of abuse. There will be tons of info online, and there might still be a sticky thread at the top of the relationships board.

Then can I advise you to be very very careful nicannie. I have a very bad feeling about this.

@MrsElijahMikaelson1 wanker is true!! Sister had gone, as soon as she left he arrived, it's almost like he was waiting for her to leave, either that or the timing was unreal. Unfortunately it is a bit late to rethink the family thing, but doesn't mean I can't do this on my own is I need to, right ..

@TowelNumber42 yeah, the fact he went straight upstairs tells me he doesn't want to speak. He's never done this before.. so I'll leave him to cool off and maybe approach the subject tomorrow ?

Don't start appeasing. Never reward a tantrum.

He has been sent to his room. Fine. Practise your tantrum management ready for toddlers. Eyes of steel. No wavering. No reward. If he decides to start communicating maturely then that will be rewarded with attention.

@Candle1000 I know it's bizarre, but I really wish there was. Even my friends in RL who I've told are so shocked they don't know what to say.. it's our of character.

Yanbu