I am your Mother-in-law ask me anything - Halloween Special edition.🎃

[Milfromhades]

I don't know why my DiLs consider Halloween the perfect time for me to put an AMA in AIBU, but as you know, I am always happy to help.

You may wonder how I got into AIBU while you were out, well I had my own set of keys cut, I knew you wouldn't mind. I must say the place was absolutely filthy and I have had to give it a good scrubbing (I tidied up your knicker drawer while I was at it), don't worry I don't expect any thanks! Now it is looking a little better and I have time to put my feet up with a cuppa and answer some of your questions. I have opened that naice box of chocolates I found in the bottom of your wardrobe, waste not, want not I always say.

I consider myself an expert on most subjects so do feel free to ask me anything you like. Here are a few FAQS to get you started:

Should I go to MiL for Christmas? Of course, I have already got the sprouts on and nearly finished knitting you a hideous jumper with one arm slightly too short. It should be most jolly.

We have already named dd 1 after MiL, should I name dd2 after my own mother? There's no need to choose a family name for your second, I would go with a flower name, something classic like Rose (coincidentally my own middle name).

Are you in favour of Brexit? Yes, I am sorry for my friends who have retired to Spain, but I'm afraid it's a necessary first step towards restoring the Empire in time for our dear Queen's centenary year. I am not so naive as to think it will all be smooth sailing though, and I am certainly not adverse to a bit of "prepping". I have built up quite a stockpile myself. Luckily your FiL is partial to spam.

What do you think of trick-or-treating and should I decorate the house for Halloween? Quite frankly no-one would notice the difference if you turned your house into a ghastly hovel festooned with cobwebs so I shouldn't waste your time. As for trick-or-treating I used to think it a vulgar American practice not that much different to demanding money with menaces, but then I found out that, in fact it is all based on the ancient Scottish tradition of Guising so that is absolutely fine.

Now I look forward to answering any other questions you may have for me so ask away.

Where do you park your broom?

Born got there first.

If you're really my mother in law, wow! Have you been to adult education classes to be able to spell and be so eloquent?

@BornInAThunderstorm my broom is in constant use, unlike yours, so I seldom need to park it.

Have you been to adult education classes to be able to spell and be so eloquent
Got to keep the standards up for AIBU, I don't bother when it's just you.

Why do you call me by a nickname I hate even though you have had this pointed out on many occasions?
Also why do you only send things for my sons birthday but nothing for my little girls birthday?

Can you come back from the dead and tell me what to buy FIL for Christmas?

Why do you call me by a nickname I hate even though you have had this pointed out on many occasions?
I just feel it suits you, Tubster.

I thought all witches liked cats? What's your problem with them?

Why do you binge eat 10 packs of pastries and crisps until you are sick and then say I should be checked for diabetes because I 'look overweight'?

Why do you say you want to come and see DS but actually you ignore him and all you do is talk to me about people and things I don't give a shit about?

Can you come back from the dead and tell me what to buy FIL for Christmas?
I always buy him socks, he doesn't really like them but it's a tradition.

I thought all witches liked cats? What's your problem with them?
I find them a bit stalkerish.

Why do you sniff like that when I serve you a Sunday dinner?

You are the start of the zombie apocalypse arent you?

Why do you listen and follow the advice from the postman , the fishman , the hairdresser , when we have told you the same thing months before ?

Why do you binge eat 10 packs of pastries and crisps until you are sick and then say I should be checked for diabetes because I 'look overweight'?
I'm just trying to save you from yourself dear, not everyone has my metabolism.

Why do you ask for present ideas for the DC, I tell you something they would really like and so don't buy it myself. Then you buy something totally different.

Why do you sniff like that when I serve you a Sunday dinner? It's a sniff of appreciation dear, I know you can't help it.

Goddddd I love these threads!!!

Why do you listen and follow the advice from the postman , the fishman , the hairdresser , when we have told you the same thing months before ?

Why do you keep sending letters addressed to me as Mrs. {enter your DS’s surname and yours} when you know I kept my name?

Why do you only bother with the other sons kids and not ours?

I know neither of their partners are much of a mother and both have had social services involved but it would be nice if you showed half as much interest in ours without us having to make the first move.

Why did you have to go and bloody die before you could meet my beautiful babies? :’(

Why do you listen and follow the advice from the postman , the fishman , the hairdresser , when we have told you the same thing months before ? I like to get a second opinion from someone I respect.