I am your Mother-in-law ask me anything - Halloween Special edition.🎃

[Milfromhades]

I don't know why my DiLs consider Halloween the perfect time for me to put an AMA in AIBU, but as you know, I am always happy to help.

You may wonder how I got into AIBU while you were out, well I had my own set of keys cut, I knew you wouldn't mind. I must say the place was absolutely filthy and I have had to give it a good scrubbing (I tidied up your knicker drawer while I was at it), don't worry I don't expect any thanks! Now it is looking a little better and I have time to put my feet up with a cuppa and answer some of your questions. I have opened that naice box of chocolates I found in the bottom of your wardrobe, waste not, want not I always say.

I consider myself an expert on most subjects so do feel free to ask me anything you like. Here are a few FAQS to get you started:

Should I go to MiL for Christmas? Of course, I have already got the sprouts on and nearly finished knitting you a hideous jumper with one arm slightly too short. It should be most jolly.

We have already named dd 1 after MiL, should I name dd2 after my own mother? There's no need to choose a family name for your second, I would go with a flower name, something classic like Rose (coincidentally my own middle name).

Are you in favour of Brexit? Yes, I am sorry for my friends who have retired to Spain, but I'm afraid it's a necessary first step towards restoring the Empire in time for our dear Queen's centenary year. I am not so naive as to think it will all be smooth sailing though, and I am certainly not adverse to a bit of "prepping". I have built up quite a stockpile myself. Luckily your FiL is partial to spam.

What do you think of trick-or-treating and should I decorate the house for Halloween? Quite frankly no-one would notice the difference if you turned your house into a ghastly hovel festooned with cobwebs so I shouldn't waste your time. As for trick-or-treating I used to think it a vulgar American practice not that much different to demanding money with menaces, but then I found out that, in fact it is all based on the ancient Scottish tradition of Guising so that is absolutely fine.

Now I look forward to answering any other questions you may have for me so ask away.

Why do you always speak Danish in front of me when you know I don't understand, it is hard enough learning German which I need to learn without you being so rude as to keep me and your grandchildren from being able to understand you.

Why do you insist on spelling my DD name wrong in every card even though it's a perfectly simple spelling name and one year you actually crossed out one of your preferred DGC 's name and put my DD name (spelt incorrectly of course)

Why do you tell everyone we look so alike when your own husband points out that you are short and fat while I am not? Why oh why would you want to believe that your son is sexually attracted to a clone of you?
I still think we look quite alike, especially in my photoshopped pictures of our recent holiday.

Why do you always speak Danish in front of me when you know I don't understand, it is hard enough learning German which I need to learn without you being so rude as to keep me and your grandchildren from being able to understand you.
Hov, hov ... Klap lige hesten as we say in Denmark.

Why do you insist on spelling my DD name wrong in every card even though it's a perfectly simple spelling name and one year you actually crossed out one of your preferred DGC 's name and put my DD name (spelt incorrectly of course)
I think my spelling is nicer.

Why can't you understand that your way to make gravy isn't the right way to make gravy. There are many ways to make gravy, each one as valid as yours. I just happened to choose one of the other ways.
Stick with your Bisto if you must, but I won't admit it's correct.

Wow it's like Mrs Mills back when it was funny. Bravo MILfromHades.

Why do you insist on "popping by" when you know I absolutely hate this and DH has had several polite chats with you suggesting a quick text first? Why do you let yourself into our house during the day when we're out? Where is the line, would you say?

Are you and FIL in the spare room, door closed, lights off and curtains drawn, because you detest Halloween?

Why do you insist on "popping by" when you know I absolutely hate this and DH has had several polite chats with you suggesting a quick text first? Why do you let yourself into our house during the day when we're out? Where is the line, would you say?
It wouldn't be a surprise inspection if I let you know first though? I feel DS appreciates my efforts to keep your standards high which is why his chats have been so polite and not put me off at all.

Not a question, but since this is a Halloween MIL thread then I just want to say that may MIL has a pet owl that she takes out on a leash every day for a walk/fly.

I think my MIL may actually be a witch!!

(She's actually really nice, and her biggest fault is that she is a total feeder.)

Why have you booked an activity for you and my DD ON HER BIRTHDAY without asking me?!

Are you and FIL in the spare room, door closed, lights off and curtains drawn, because you detest Halloween?
No indeed I am most fond of Halloween it's just DC we find somewhat annoying. Your FiL is having a nap while I do this AMA

Bertrand, I don't think that this thread is all bad. I reckon quite a few DILs can get their anger out of the way.
Their MILs probably drive them mad but the DIL doesn't want to start a thread. So just a couple of lines here maybe helps to calm things down a bit.
To my MIL, I wish you could have stayed here longer and met my DGS, I miss you.

Very funny

Not a question, but since this is a Halloween MIL thread then I just want to say that may MIL has a pet owl that she takes out on a leash every day for a walk/fly.
Not everyone can have a MiL like myself you will have to make the best of it.

Please come back from Hades; everyone misses you.

Why have you booked an activity for you and my DD ON HER BIRTHDAY without asking me?!
You are always nagging about reducing plastic tat so I thought she might like an experience present instead.

You're very funny and it's lighthearted BUT I'm not happy with your answer mil!
My DD 's name is Holly. Not difficult is it ? She's 15 ffs but you still write Holley?! Why? I can understand Hollie (just about ) but you've known her 15 years but every year 'Dear Holley ' just why? Hhmmm? Answer me that hypothetical mil !

Why don't you eat any carbs?

And bertrand have you been stolen by the ghoulies and replaced by a tattle tale?

It's ok. We know you are joking really. Have a

My DD 's name is Holly. Not difficult is it ? She's 15 ffs but you still write Holley?! Why? I can understand Hollie (just about ) but you've known her 15 years but every year 'Dear Holley ' just why?
You know if you had called her after myself we wouldn't be having this problem.

And bertrand have you been stolen by the ghoulies and replaced by a tattle tale?
Don't worry dears you know I love a good feud.

Why do you keep letting BIL2 upset you and treat you like shit when you're nothing but lovely to him, his partner and their son? You know he's not worth it (plus BIL1 & DH are a million times better ).

why do you always think that your daughter told you something useful when it was actually me -