To ask how people 'accidentally' get pregnant?

[Butterflyone12e]

I honestly do wonder how people say they fell pregnant by accident. Of course I can understand the horrific situation if sexual abuse/rape was involved but do people honestly fall accidentally pregnant?

I'm 33 years of age and have never fallen pregnant because I've not wanted to fall pregnant.

I wondered what peoples stories are. I really disagree with terminations (again unless medial or abuse).

A condom split. I took the morning after pill. I still got pregnant. It happens. I had an abortion and have never had a single regret, and I couldn't give a shit whether you approve or not. My body is not your business.

Having said that, I do think it's some kind of awful joke that when you WANT to get pregnant, it can seem so impossible, such a short window each month etc, and yet when you DON'T want to, it can happen despite your best efforts to avoid it!

I've been very lucky to get pregnant within weeks of deciding I wanted to conceive, 4 times now. But this 'luck' does mean I was presumably more likely than many women to get 'accidentally' pregnant at some point.

A lot of people just make a mistake. I have incredibly irregular cycles and to be honest felt that we were going to have a really hard time getting pregnant so we gradually just stopped worrying about contraception as I don’t get on well with hormones, or a copper coil, and we’d been caught in the heat of the moment without a condom several times and it had never been a problem. It wasn’t planned and we kind of just didn’t really expect it to happen. But we were thrilled so it was more TTC through neglect than an accident.

In my case it was a mixture of gin and a red hot man ,one camping trip and one long hot summer ...not only that it happened twice! We are all very happy, me ,him and our two err "accidents"!

I know another woman who uses her monthly cycle to determine her safe and unsafe days. She can't understand why women don't understand their bodies and do the same and think they are stupid or didn't listen properly when people using her method fail. She thinks there's no need for artificial contraceptives.

She has very regular periods, doesn't use a thermometer but uses her condition of body/skin to determine where she is in her cycle and so far has only had the pregnancies when they've planned them. I think a lot of people are waiting for their method to fail as she has a very smug, superior tone when she's harping on about people not understanding their bodies and not being in touch with their inner self.

She has quite a few judgemental, intolerant views which are offensive, thankfully she has pulled back from some of her responsibilities so is less able to spread her crap.

This is why DH had a vasectomy. I'd had enough of hormonal contraceptives and I was worried that my copper coil might slip.

I'm pro-choice but somehow the thought of having to have an abortion if I got pregnant was too much. I take Tamoxifen, which causes birth defects.

Different forms of contraceptive seems to work better for different people.

Some medicine/herbal tea/food, illness reduce the effectiveness of the pill, so someone doesn't realise that a detox tea/too much grapefruit/mild stomach bug means they aren't as well protected as they thought. Some women believe in the pull out method or that they are too old. Some men sabotage condoms so the women believes she's been practicing safe sex. Some women are simply in the contraception failure percentage.

I hope you’re a troll to be honest OP, otherwise you’re spouting some of the worst kind of misogynistic bullshit that can come out of another woman’s mouth. At best you’re victim of a patriarchal society and at worst you actually believe wholeheartedly what your saying and have reached your conclusions independently.

You know what my feelings, as a woman, are when I hear of contraception failures or terminations? Gratefulness it’s not me who’s been caught out or unlucky because I have a basic understanding that there is no 100% foolproof way to prevent pregnancy other than complete abstinence and I don’t think women who have sex for recreation are horrible people.

Why, exactly, do you think so little of other women? Or do you just think you’re better than everyone else?

Do you honestly think someone is going to give you an honest explanation? You sound incredibly judgemental. And nobody gives a shit about your opion about terminations. It’s not your body so kind your own business.

If you are not using any form of contraceptive protection (this includes those using the withdrawal method, natural family planning method & ovulation tracking) or if the method you used noticeably failed (split condom/missed pill/vomiting when on the pill) and you do not get MAP, it is not 'unplanned' when you get pregnant. In some cases the MAP fails but if it is not used, it's reasonable to presume a pregnancy is a possibility. I don't believe in 'not trying not preventing'. Those couples are actively trying to get pregnant because they aren't trying to prevent against pregnancy. 🤷‍♀️

QuizzlyBear

But it says so clearly in the literature you receive with the pill that if you’ve vomited or had diarrhoea your pill may be rendered ineffective and you need to use condoms for a week. Did you just never bother to read anything about the medication you were taking? Or you knew and decided to chance it anyway? People do need to take a little bit of responsibility.

Me. I had a surprise pregnancy in my late 30’s, as I thought I had ovulated a few days beforehand, so didn’t use contraception. Whoops. Not a disaster, as DH and I were thinking of having another baby the following year, but it was a massive shock when I did a test!

I don't think my pregnancy can be classed as an accident (accidentally had unprotected sex for 6 years and then accidentally paid a clinic a lot of money for IVF and here we are!) and I have never been pregnant by 'accident' but I can understand how it happens.

There are lots of 'accidents', such as contraception failure as nothing is 100% foolproof. People do also say 'accident' (as opposed to intentional) to mean 'mistake' if that is where your confusion lies - having unprotected sex may have been more mistake than accident, but the pregnancy is accidental rather than intentional.

After all, we are all only human and mistakes/accidents happen.

Apologies if this has already been posted - haven't read the whole thread.
There was an interesting article on the BBC news app yesterday how some women have become pregnant despite taking the Morning After Pill.
It doesn't matter how quickly after unprotected sex they take it - up to 2 out of every 100 will become pregnant depending on where they are in their cycle.
If you have unprotected sex after ovulation, you are still fertile and the MAP is useless as it only delays ovulation.
At this point they need the coil fitted instead.
This is information that isn't routinely told to women who use the MAP. I wonder how many accidental pregnancies have happened as a result.
(Don't know how to post the link but you can Google it).

yes its true there is so much contraception about now and yet people are still getting pregnant when they dont need too.

had unprotected sex with DH once
I was charting my very regular cycle. My ovulation date was off. We had sex
Because I thought it would be fine not to use a condom that one time.

TBF, these (which were all on the first page) are not so much examples of 'accidental' pregnancy but rather 'unplanned' due to irresponsible/ignorance/naivety.

After all, we are all only human and mistakes/accidents happen.

This. Why do people need to justify this. I've had a termination...it wasn't a contraception failure, I just made a mistake. I don't feel ashamed.

‘‘Some medicine/herbal tea/food, illness reduce the effectiveness of the pill, so someone doesn't realise that a detox tea/too much grapefruit/mild stomach bug means they aren't as well protected as they thought’’

I’m just going to expand on this and clarify some issues because I think it’s important anyone reading this has the correct information.

Medicines: Some medicines do decrease the efficacy of hormonal contraceptives. Most commonly those taken for epilepsy and some antibiotics used to treat more serious infections. Standard broad spectrum antibiotics (such as penicillins) DO NOT have an effect on contraception.

Herbal tea: Does not directly interact with oral contraceptives BUT they can have a laxative effect (especially the stupid detox/weight loss ones) which can cause them not to be absorbed properly. The herbal supplement St Johns Wort also interacts with some oral contraceptives.

Food: Food does not cause oral contraceptives to be less effective. However a drastic change in diet can cause vomiting/diarrhoea which can effect the absorption of contraceptives.

Illness: vomiting/diarrhoea can stop oral contraceptives being absorbed properly.

Whilst I’m here:

The Morning after pill will not work if you have you already ovulated BUT unless you have a clockwork-like cycle you won’t know when that is so it is better to take it than not.

There is nothing to stop you taking the MAP then getting an IUD fitted (within 5 days) just to be sure. New guidelines means the pharmacist must discuss this option with you.

I accidentally fell pregnant because when I started a new Anti Epilepsy medication it was not known how that medication reduced the effectiveness of the pill and the pill reduced the effectiveness of the anti Epilepsy meds. Situation made worse as was transferring from Epilim which is now never to be used in women of child bearing age due to very high risk of birth defects and was taking both at the time....good news we beat the odds and had a healthy DC. So yes it can happen.

Also not a single form of contraception is 100% effective

There is nothing to stop you taking the MAP then getting an IUD fitted (within 5 days) just to be sure. New guidelines means the pharmacist must discuss this option with you

I mentioned earlier my experience with the MAP - I was pleased to see you would still prescribe. I was refused it because I was on the pill. Absolutely refused.

Current waiting list for a IUD here is around 6 months - where do you get an emergency one fitted if necessary?

But it says so clearly in the literature you receive with the pill that if you’ve vomited or had diarrhoea your pill may be rendered ineffective and you need to use condoms for a week. Did you just never bother to read anything about the medication you were taking? Or you knew and decided to chance it anyway? People do need to take a little bit of responsibility.

Thanks @priceofprogress for your interest. I'm not sure why you think I don't consider this to be 100% my fault. I do. Your tone is startlingly bitchy however for someone who is responding to my two-line recount of how I fell accidentally pregnant. You ok hun?

Since you asked, I read the literature when I started taking the pill, 14 years before this accident. In theory I knew this was a risk but in my stomach bug vomit haze I simply didn't consider the pill and when I recovered it didn't occur to me either. After all, I'd taken it every day!

Since I've loved, cared for and raised a beautiful son for the last 13 years I think I've certainly 'taken responsibility' for this oversight.

MrMumble
As you say mistakes happen. You absolutely shouldn't feel ashamed.

What I think quite a few people are saying is that whereas some people will say "unplanned pregnancy, fair enough human error / mistake with contraception" there's quite a lot of people who go for the "what a surprise/out of the blue/ totally didn't see this happening" whilst also not using contraception properly and then deciding it's because they're super fertile (a phrase I've only ever head on MN usually).
So you get threads like:
So DP and I think we might have a surprise pregnancy! Could I be pregnant? We use the withdrawal method but I'm 3 days late and here's all my symptoms
Then a few pages later
thats our BFP! I can't believe it. It's our own little miracle. We just just be super fertile

Aka two adults had unprotected sex because they were too stupid to use contraception but now want to spin it as some sort of miracle.

Or as a former friend of mine used to find, she was always super fertile within 6 months of a new relationship starting. It's really amazing how one person can fall pregnant on the pill 3 times (and yet still continue to use the pill as a contraceptive measure when they apparently don't want children).

‘I mentioned earlier my experience with the MAP - I was pleased to see you would still prescribe. I was refused it because I was on the pill. Absolutely refused.’

This should not have happened. I always tell patients if they don’t need it because they may not want to pay for it or they may not want the side effects if it’s not necessary. If they want to take it just to be sure I never refuse (unless it’s clinically unsuitable).

100% what LolaSmiles just said. Massive difference between unplanned and irresponsible.
If you don't use contraception correctly (and pull out/cycle method is not contraception) then its not unplanned or a surprise if you fall pregnant.

I often wondered the same, I spent my late teens & twenties being terrified of getting pregnant, come my thirties & actually wanting to get pregnant found the window each month where I could get pregnant incredibly small. I know there are contraceptive failures & some women are incredibly fertile but I wasn't one of them.

Well for me it was an accidental pregnancy because I’d not long since had surgery to remove my right Fallopian tube and ovary and had been told I’d likely never conceive through traditional means and IVF might even not be successful due to heavy scarring on my uterus from years of undiagnosed endometriosis. I can’t have most forms of pill due to a history of blood clotting issues in the family, can’t have a coil because my endometriosis grows scar tissue around them (it was my mirena getting ‘absorbed’ into my uterus that finally lead to the endometriosis diagnosis) and I was due to discuss the implant or injections with my GP - two days before my appointment I took a pregnancy test because I’d had a lot of unusual symptoms I hadn’t experienced before - it was a very faint positive. Found out at my first scan it was twins too and my specialist at the hospital who had managed my endometriosis diagnosis/treatment offered the hypothesis that my remaining ovary released two eggs to compensate for the loss of the other and DH and I had sex unprotected at just the right time for both to be fertilised.

The best accident I’ve ever had