To not put sweets out for trick or treaters but take DS?

[haveamooch]

I always take DS trick or treating with his cousins. However, it has occurred to me that I'm being quite cheeky by not leaving any sweets for anyone at my own house.

The reason I don't is because my DH doesn't like Halloween at all and refuses to participate in any way, but will tolerate me taking DS.

AIBU, given that my DH won't have sweets put out for other people, or should I just go against him completely and do it anyway? Not really sure I'd be happy to do that since it's his house too

And just to clarify, we only ever visit houses that are decorated for Halloween/clearly look open to trick or treating.

U want everyone else to give your child treats but you will not participate by giving treats to anyone else’s child? Do you really need to ask? 🤔 ...... YABU!

DH doesnt come with us trick or treating so he stays at home and hands out sweets to the kids that knock our door. we always have milky ways in for the little ones. we dont get that many here tho so my reward for taking the dc's is to sit with the bucket and pick out my favourites

I would leave a bucket of sweets outside with a note telling kids to choose one. It should not effect your dh as he does not need to answer the door.

It should not effect your dh as he does not need to answer the door.

It’s not going to effect him for the next 12 months in fairness.

So you’re happy to receive sweets from neighbours but don’t want to do the same back for other kids in the neighbourhood?
You and your husband are mean - you don’t need us to tell you that!

It gets inundated here and I always think it's nice for a child to get something. I usually give out four or five hundred packs of sweets(things like chuppa chips, star mix or this year's favoutie-popping candy) I buy them in poundland and look for the best deals) when my DS was younger and I took him out I always used to think ot was a shame he came back with one fruitella sweet and a quality street and a crushed jelly baby. Our neighbourhood seethe with trick or treating little kids and I think it's really lean they expect to collect a hoard but give nothing in return. I think you should do your quick rounds then do your bit of returning the favour of giving out something too.
People in my neighbourhood which has always had huge neighbourhood spirit seem now to be expressing the full turn of the circle and saying they are stopping taking part anymore as everyone wants everything but there is a lack of reciprocal goodwill.
Like lots of things to do with community and goodwill get missed in so many local celebrations which is such a shame.

I don't think it's cheeky at all. We never used to decorate when dd was small because I knew we'd be out trick or treating so there would be nobody to answer the door. Now that she's older, she doesn't go out any more so we stay home, stick the pumpkins outside and dish out sweets to all of the younger kids. When those kids are older, hopefully they'll do the same.

Sorry but that's a ridiculous attitude, it's got nothing to do with him what you want to leave on your own doorstep, he doesn't have to answer the door or hand out any sweets or leave anything on the doorstep.

Being inside the house does not give him some kind of weird doorstep prerogative and why the fuck would he even care?!

When your kids are young enough to need you with them you trick or treat and make memories and don't leave candy. Then when they are older you sit and hand out candy. That's what I do... we have 8 good years of trick or treating (America) and the last two the kids go with their dad and I stay home with wine and a bowl of candy and chat to the neighbours for a few hours. It is quite fun too in its own way.

When I took my kids trick or treating my husband had to work late and wasn't going to be home. So I took my own bucket of sweets to hand out to other trick or treaters that I saw out and about. The kids loved it.

I hate Halloween, none of mine went truck or treating (begging with menace). However we do give / have given them a treat and do give out some sweets (seems contradictory but help in school so don't want to seem mean... Only for infants with adult though).
I had a couple of elderly relatives that I feel died a little sooner than they would have after been harassed by teens banging loudly on their door - no proof)
One odd thing I have noticed and kind of warmed me a little... The little ones this year all picked out one tiny sweet.. I cajoled them to at least take a second all very good manors.
Now I'm a Halloween grinch that's left with a three quarter full bowl of ket.
Can't take them to school it's against their food police state rules... So will probably munching till Easter.

Now I'm a Halloween grinch that's left with a three quarter full bowl of ket

You’ve got a bowl full of ketamine? You are the stranger we were all warned about.

It's not cheeky.. you are either trick or treating or you are hosting.....You don't do both?

I think it's fine. I wouldn't leave a bowl out personally. We've always got treats in for Halloween and did so for many years pre-child, so it will balance out somewhere!

@FlamingoAndJohn 👏👏😂