To not put sweets out for trick or treaters but take DS?

[haveamooch]

I always take DS trick or treating with his cousins. However, it has occurred to me that I'm being quite cheeky by not leaving any sweets for anyone at my own house.

The reason I don't is because my DH doesn't like Halloween at all and refuses to participate in any way, but will tolerate me taking DS.

AIBU, given that my DH won't have sweets put out for other people, or should I just go against him completely and do it anyway? Not really sure I'd be happy to do that since it's his house too

And just to clarify, we only ever visit houses that are decorated for Halloween/clearly look open to trick or treating.

Don't know where you lot are living but we've had a very pleasant night.
Took ds out to a close half a dozen houses, and came back.

We've had around 50-60 children from tots through to teens. I think every one said thank you without being prompted; even the little lad who came running up as I was taking the pumpkin in after we'd run out was very polite.

We've had years where non of them have gone out and we've only given so i don't see it an issue for you not to give.

That might be a problem if Halloween were in the summer skinnychip but in October most people do an hours worth of freezing your ass off in a costume made of the thinnest material going Halloween-ing and then spend a few hours Manning the door.

For a few years I used to go to my friends house near the city when dd was little. I took a couple of tubs of sweets to distribute as she had dozens and dozens of callers. We have only ever had one lot of trick or treaters at our house.

Dd for the last 3 years has gone trick or treating in a popular area in our village. I feel bad not giving. I have sweets in but no callers. Nothing I can do.

In your position, where you do have callers, it would be nice to have sweets. It’s only one day a year. I don’t understand how your dh can justify being such a grinch when he witnesses his dc so happy going trick or treating. Generosity and wanting to share that love are fab traits.

I am generous in other ways btw.

If you want to go trick or treating and get sweets , then you should give sweets out too. It’s nice to give others and not just take. Not a good message to teach your kids.

Does he know who Father Xmas is? or is he banned n all? lol. I do get why , its just a sugar salesman dream, and tones of plastic shit in the sea, but kids love it, so if i dont waste as much plastic and dont feed em sweets every day, they can have halloween.

However many sweets you buy it won't be enough. It is the law. last year after my massive sack of fangtastics ran out I had to resort to cereal bars, and after they all ran out, fruit. Imagine the faces on the kids to whom I offered the apple bowl . I'm surprised they didn't firebomb my house in revenge!

Our dcs are long grown up but we still put a pumpkin in the window and dish out treats - making sure to buy enough to have some left over for us! Dh was at them the other day - 🐷 - had to send him out for more.

I give out sweets because I want to, never considered it being a tit-for-tat affair. That's a pretty miserable way to be imo.

It makes my night to see the tinies in their costumes, and ALL the children have been very polite. My giving out a few sweets makes them happy.

FFS how mean-minded.

My kids are in their 20s so we don't do hallowe'en anymore.

I didn't think to buy sweets, but I've just emptied the contents of the coin jar ready for any kids that come.

And no, you don't bring your kids round and then not reciprocate.

And your DH is being an arse.

Won't people knock / ring as soon as the bowl is empty?

It might be a little cheeky but I wouldn't worry (too much).

Round our way people generally have quite good manners. The little triangle of roads we live on has always been 'known' as having several houses whose occupants enjoy halloween and put up decorations etc, so the DC do the rounds.
But the rule always seems to be: you only knock at houses with obvious decorations.
I used to fret a bit about the timing of our own walk-round, but for the last few years DS has either gone with a friend or been old enough to go alone. This year he;s actually decided he's too old to go but has still been enjoying himself giving out the sweets.

Ok so I wish I left some sweets out whilst I went trick or treating with DS. We got back around half 6 but there’s been hardly anyone at our door since then! Now I’ve got a big basket of goodies tempting me.

Lots of houses participated this year. I left a large bowl of sweets as we were in the area popping back to refill.
If I was out if the area with the house was empty it would probably advertise the house was empty.
If your DH is in I'd leave sweets.
It is nice to give back.

Just curious why you’re asking. You say your DH won’t answer the door, presumably you aren’t home to hand them out as you’re taking your DS, and you say your neighbours don’t have small children. So why are you wondering?

Tbh, I'm mainly confused as to why you feel you need your DH's permission to put sweets out? I mean, really?

Is your dh religious and against halloween or thinks it begging? I take it you've never done sweets before dc?

Give to the foodbank if i was you.

We always give at Halloween, have done for over a decade, but dc have yet to go TT themselves. When they do, we won't leave sweets, we will give some if back before bedtime but i like the idea of donating to the foodbank instead.

@Skinnychip

I once asked DDs friend what their trick was and they didn't have one. Does anyone do tricks or is it a given thst no one would choose to have a trick?

I'm not sure what you mean with 'have' a trick? Do you mean someone would voluntarily want the trick to be played on them?

I mean, I guess it might be fairly benign but I was lead to believe that throwing eggs or toilet papering a house (car, letterbox) are fairly commonly chose forms of 'mischief' on Halloween...

(tbh, trick or treat does seem a bit impolite but I guess it's tradition...)

Like i said we don't really do halloween but i thought it was trick OR treat so there might be a joke or trick of some kind if anyone was brave/stupid enough to choose that...?

Or is there another meaning for trick or treat? Otherwise its treat or treat?

Op I think its a tad cheeky to take and not give. That's not exactly in the spirit of halloween.

In Scotland kids traditionally tell a joke, or rhyme for their halloween. Do English kids do the same?

Skinnychip

Ah.... I don't do Halloween either but I read up about it a few years ago (and 'interviewed' DH). Trick or treat is basically a (presumably fairly mild) threat.

Give us a treat or we'll 'give' you a trick. => prank you / do some sort of mischief.🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh for some reason i wrongly thought it originated in scotland and you had a rhyme or joke to do if a person said trick rather than treat. Ooops 🙈🙈

That’s guising Blackbear19. They tell a joke or a story or do a dance. And they make a “Guy”- an effigy they take round with and say “penny for the Guy” and you give them money (towards cost/effort of making the Guy). It’s to do with Guy Fawkes Night. The Guy is supposed to be burned on a bonfire on bonfire night.

I think because Halloween and Bonfire night are so close, guising and trick or treating have sort of merged. Instead of making a Guy, the effort is now in making/wearing a costume and instead of money they get sweets.

Penny for the guy is nothing to do with Halloween not seen kids do it in years. It wasn't even that common when I was a child '80s.
Trick or treat is the American version of Guising.

It was pretty common in my part of Scotland when I was a child in the 80s Blackbear

www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/trick-or-treat.html
This says trick or treat is the American version of European guising (which goes back to 14th century), it was brought over by European immigrants to the US and developed in it’s own direction. Penny for the Guy drew from the older tradition of guising too, bit like Christmas draws on older pagan traditions.

We always leave an empty bowl out with a 'Please Take One' sign and an empty sweet wrapper at the bottom.

Seems keeping with the season.