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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not put sweets out for trick or treaters but take DS?

190 replies

haveamooch · 31/10/2019 15:18

I always take DS trick or treating with his cousins. However, it has occurred to me that I'm being quite cheeky by not leaving any sweets for anyone at my own house.

The reason I don't is because my DH doesn't like Halloween at all and refuses to participate in any way, but will tolerate me taking DS.

AIBU, given that my DH won't have sweets put out for other people, or should I just go against him completely and do it anyway? Not really sure I'd be happy to do that since it's his house too Confused

And just to clarify, we only ever visit houses that are decorated for Halloween/clearly look open to trick or treating.

OP posts:
ILiveInSalemsLot · 31/10/2019 17:16

We don’t go trick or treating but happily give out sweets. Every time we have to say ‘just take 1 or 2 please so there’s enough for others’ as the kids take handfuls. Bitter experience.
No way would a bowl of sweets last beyond the first couple of people here.

Mummyshark2018 · 31/10/2019 17:26

I'm taking dc trick or treating with her friends. I'm not leaving anything out and won't be answering the door if we're in. Reason being we've never- touch wood had any come to the door as we live on a main road and we have a puppy that will go nuts every time the door bell goes.

AnxietyDream · 31/10/2019 17:31

Halloween isn't about giving and taking

I'm with this. We've been giving for years for the fun of it, it's not a trade, and it's a bit sad people think it has to be.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 31/10/2019 17:40

We do Halloween every year and at the moment have no children. DC1 is due next month and won't be trick or treating for a while but we'll still do it. For that reason I'd say it's fine, plenty of people will just be giving with no expectations.

DontCallMeShitley · 31/10/2019 17:44

I also know someone who trustingly left a nice bowl out and someone stole the bowl, in a village where they thought it would be OK. Round here you can leave anything outside unless you want it taken away.

First wave of little ones have just gone by here, they only go to friends houses.

Namechangeoflife · 31/10/2019 17:45

how Are single parents meant to manage if they have dc who want to go but no one to answer the door?

Justajot · 31/10/2019 17:50

I think that it will all even out over the years. When your kids are older and don't go trick or treating then you can answer the door and give out sweets.

HeyNotInMyName · 31/10/2019 18:01

No issue imo.
Some people like Halloween, others don’t.
I have never taken my dcs trick or treat but normally have sweets in the house for that (mainly because I prefer to have something ‘just in case’ as people still turn up even if there are no Halloween stuff in the window etc...).

If I had been taking the dcs to trick and treat, there would have been no one at home and therefore no sweets to hand.

TabbyMumz · 31/10/2019 18:08

Just had a man with small child trick or treating at our house. He knocked, we ignored. Then he rang the bell. We ignored again. Next door has masses of Halloween decs up. We have none. No pumpkin, nothing. To me, that's a big big hint, that we dont want trick or treaters. He stood there with his child for a full 5 mins, knocking and ringing the bell. Just cant understand why someone would do that. I have a disabled family member that gets distressed with this sort of thing.

DriftingLeaves · 31/10/2019 18:14

YABU and pretty shitty.

chuggingalong · 31/10/2019 18:15

Why do I feel like the only parent not doing this tonight. Is every kid out tonight and not mine 😬

GrumpyHoonMain · 31/10/2019 18:17

It balances out. I don’t have kids yet to take them trick or treating, and never went myself as a kids, but I have given always give out sweets.

Baguetteaboutit · 31/10/2019 18:18

You could always take a bowl of sweets and hand the out to the halloweeners that you pass in the street?

lunasunshine · 31/10/2019 18:19

I really don’t see it as an issue. Not once have I given sweets to trick or treaters and thought “hmmm, I wonder if they’re giving out sweets in their own house?”. It’s a non-issue in my opinion! Halloween Confused

Lightinthewindow · 31/10/2019 18:21

I’m not leaving any sweets out this year, first time I’ve never answered the door, but everyone in my house is ill with a sickness bug and we just don’t have the energy to be up and down at the door every 2 minutes. Our street is very busy with the kids. I haven’t even decorated my house this year.

itsaboojum · 31/10/2019 18:21

"I wouldn’t want a bowel of anything outside my house."

Is this some kind of doorstep enema reference?

TabbyMumz · 31/10/2019 18:21

Just had another two groups knocking on our window, rude, just rude.

Rainbowqueeen · 31/10/2019 18:29

I think it’s cheeky
There are other ways around it rather than leaving a bowl out. I buy sweets and give them to a friend who has lots of trick or treaters come to her house. No one comes to ours as the driveway is too long

You could do that or just take a basket with you and give them out to kids on the way.

When people take take take after a while the generous givers get a bit sick of it and then the fun stops for everyone.

recklessruby · 31/10/2019 18:40

tabbymumz can you put up a sign saying no trick or treaters.
My son has PTSD and loud noises are best avoided.
Here people leave you alone if you dont have a pumpkin out.

CatToddlerUprising · 31/10/2019 18:41

It’s abit cheeky. Taken DD trick or treating on our estate (mix of flats and houses) but only to houses with pumpkins. But also took a couple of bags of fun size chocolate bars to hand out to kids we see as we live in a flat so can’t hand any out from home.

Teateaandmoretea · 31/10/2019 18:42

I'm with this. We've been giving for years for the fun of it, it's not a trade, and it's a bit sad people think it has to be.

No it isn't sad. You try living somewhere where it is really really busy.

I like the idea about people buying advent calendars for the food bank though. If every trick or treat tourist did that then I would buy the 10 boxes a lot more willingly Smile

Teateaandmoretea · 31/10/2019 18:45

When people take take take after a while the generous givers get a bit sick of it

^^exactly this

TabbyMumz · 31/10/2019 18:52

@recklessruby....I did that last year, people still ignored it and knocked. Thing is, when it's on the door, they walk down the drive to see what it says, then knock anyway....I thought it might be better if I put nothing af all up this year, but we've still had people knocking. They dont just knock and walk away when you dont answer, they knock, ring the bell, bang on the window. I think there should be more comms about good behaviour out on Halloween, to let people be more aware how it affects different people.

cakeandchampagne · 31/10/2019 18:52

@shumway is right: “it all balances out”.

Skinnychip · 31/10/2019 18:54

I actually pondered today what if the only people in were people that "didn't do halloween" and all the people that liked it were out t or t... then how would that work? We don't really do halloween in our house altho both kids are currently out at halloween parties. I sent them with money (DD , as all parents were contributing ) and sweets, glowsticks (DS) so i don't feel too mean.
And is trick or treating basically just treats? I once asked DDs friend what their trick was and they didn't have one. Does anyone do tricks or is it a given thst no one would choose to have a trick?

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