To not put sweets out for trick or treaters but take DS?

[haveamooch]

I always take DS trick or treating with his cousins. However, it has occurred to me that I'm being quite cheeky by not leaving any sweets for anyone at my own house.

The reason I don't is because my DH doesn't like Halloween at all and refuses to participate in any way, but will tolerate me taking DS.

AIBU, given that my DH won't have sweets put out for other people, or should I just go against him completely and do it anyway? Not really sure I'd be happy to do that since it's his house too

And just to clarify, we only ever visit houses that are decorated for Halloween/clearly look open to trick or treating.

We took dd’s for a few years and now they’re teenagers we just give the sweets out

I'm actually so shocked by how rude and cheeky most of the trick or treaters were last night and won't be doing it next year. I only ever take DD to the houses we know as we're close with several neighbours so won't feel bad not doing sweets for other kids next year.
Lots of 12-14 year old boys (no girls did this, interestingly) wearing normal clothes carrying asda bags, hardly any "trick or treat"s and barely any thank yous, shoving younger children out of the way, grabbing handfuls rather than just one, one kicked my cat by accident and didn't apologise, when we told a group of children we'd run out of sweets (£10 worth gone in under an hour!) one shouted that it was "gay". We get a lot of kids come to our street because lots of the houses put on haunted houses or gardens and have big displays out front so people often drive just to come here.

I'd leave a bowl out but before I moved to this house my neighbours put a bowl out and someone took them all within a few minutes, including the wooden bowl they were in.

I bought lollies in case anyone knocked, no pumpkin or anything outside, I've lived here for years so people know they can knock , no callers, now eating said lollies, result

All the trick or treaters we got were lovely - even the teenagers, I just wish we had more!

@Bluesunglasses Sounds awful. Around here is fairly quiet, most of the area got involved.
It depends where you live, in many areas it brings out the worst in teenagers.
Little fucks ruin it for all.

in 15 years ive never been at home for halloween as we have either gone to a party or someone elses house which

both of mine go trick or treating there

@EmeraldShamrock it was fine last year, must have been something in the air this year.

Growing up we never had any people knock as it was the middle of nowhere and off the road. We'd get sweets in every year on the off chance someone would come, but by 8pm when no one had, we went out the back of the house one by one and knocked on our own door and took turns answering it

Classic mumsnet non-issue

Sorry but I think that’s really not very nice!
My children and I decorated our house and welcomed lots of people
Then I took them out - people who I had opened the door to did not reciprocate.
Very rude in my opinion.

If you leave a bowl out someone will take the lot so you will jut be giving sweets to a thief. I would say go trick or treating when your children are young and don't worry about giving sweets yourself. You can do that when your children are older when they hopefully won't go out trick or treating themselves.

So trick or treating started about 6.15pm on my road and was done by 8.

I think a lot of people must fall in to this category of taking kids trick or treating meaning that they don't then provide sweets for anyone else.

At the moment I'm in to answer the door whilst dh takes the kids as had a baby at home the past two times but when I go back to work only one of us will be back in time to do the trick or treating which means no one will be there to answer the door.

I'd be tempted to leave some sweets out but would probably be ones that no one else eats (I always get left with a tonne of palma violets and lollies at the end of Halloween ) so if one person decides to nick them all then so be it.

Think your dh is being mean spirited if he's actually in though to not participate when your child is having fun at other people's expense. It's one night a year for two hours of his life. Alternative is he takes your kid out trick or treating and you answer the door... No? Thought not.

Our cul de sac mostly does Halloween but one Mother really annoys me. She let her 3 children knock on all the houses, including those without a pumpkin outside, they weren't particularly polite, took big hand fulls, then turned us away when we knocked at hers. Her children were teens, mine, little ones. We all think of her as a twat now.

You could just put a bucket out and say help yourself

When my kids were younger and going out guising, I'd take them but my OH would stay home and welcome the hoards of kids that knocked our door.
Where we live, it's a small community and everyone knows all the kids, and at that time one mum whose husband worked late, would carry a bag of sweets with her and hand them out on the street to the other kids while they were out guising.

Of course its a bit cheeky.And its weird that dh is ok with you taking ds out to take sweets from others yet won't 'allow' you to leave sweets out in a bowl for other children.

Personally, I wouldn't 'take' but not 'give', it just isn't right imo.

You could dress up and take a bag a sweets out with you and offer them to kids along the way. Then at least you're 'giving back' to the community. (I realise Halloween has now passed btw...maybe next year?)

Yes it’s a little bit cheeky. But it’s a level of cheekiness that I’d be able to sit comfortably with. Do what works best for your family in this instance and don’t overthink it.

Not cheeky. Primary aged kids - take them trick or treating. Older kids - stay in and hand out sweets. All evens out.

It's fine. If someone has a pumpkin out, they are happy to give out sweets. No one is only giving to receive, it's just sweets and if people don't want to participate they are not obliged to.

Just make up for it when your kids are too old to trick or treat. Make sure you are one of the lovely old ladies who make up goody bags for the children who knock on her door in the future

So a message on our local website from a Mum whose little one turned two and she was asking about the "Protocol" of Halloween as her little one reacted badly to sugar....wtf?
I hate this American import (and yes I know the All Hallows stuff but mostly the influence is from the USA) ! For 364 days of the year we tell children not to accept sweets from strangers and then give the opposite message on Halloween! Legitimised begging comes to mind. I know the arguments about parents being with them but not always is this the case and actually the vulnerability of youngsters out on their own is worrying,
The Tooth Fairy must be in seventh heaven with the sugary shit that's handed out! Not apologising for being a Grinch!

Around us we had so many children to us, which I’m happy with, as my own DC go out, but several parents even commented “there aren’t many houses giving out treats this year” as they are happy to go out but not to offer sweets in return. I have to say I find it quite selfish.

My son has ASD and hates whole noise/fuss of Halloween but every year I always put a plastic bowl with plastic bag semi taped over top of bowl ,incase it rains/drizzles.I put wrapped sweets inside and leave a sign saying,take 1 etc...I also leave lit fake pumpkin in window..in over 12 years I've only ever had 1 year when some bugger stole the lot and I live on outskirts of not brill area...It saves noise of people knocking on door,you've joined in and not been a misery, takes no fuss of anyone getting up and down/dog barking etc. It costs a few pounds for a few great big packs of sweets and if you buy a fake lit pumpkin you can use it every year

We always do a bit of both and stay in for an hour or so giving out sweets then go out trick or treating or vice versa.
We leave some sweets out when we're not in and nobody yet has taken the lot.

Before I had children we used to have a pumpkin outside and hand out sweets, now my children are little it's their turn to go out knocking on doors and receiving sweets and when they are old enough to go out without us we will go back to handing out sweets from our door again. We dont leave sweets out for one or two opportunistic kids to grab the lot. I think it's ok not to leave treats out but still go trick or treating as it's all part of a circle.