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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd- leaving toddler home alone for 2 mins?

140 replies

AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:08

Hi,

I know this is such a polarised topic on mumsnet but it’s a debate with DH, I want to find a suitable long term solution.

We live in a secure tower, not on a very high floor. There is 3 security points before a delivery man/guest/maintenance person can reach us. I need to use my fob to let them in.

Often times we schedule these things when DH is at home as I have 2 children under 2, and I cannot go down to let the person/item through easily. However sometimes we don’t get that choice.

So far I’ve been dragging my kids downstairs but at times the items is bulky and I need to carry it, such as our next coming item.

The delivery date was changed to an earlier time where it’s my toddlers nap time. My baby would probably be sleeping too.

I would usually wake the toddler up and put the baby in the sling and go downstairs with them both but DH thinks I should leave toddler sleeping, put the monitor on and go downstairs while being able to watch him.

This gives me anxiety as I keep playing scenarios in my head of “what if the door gets locked or what if a fire started and so on”.

Realistically it takes one or two minutes to go to the building entrance down and collect the items/sign and go back up. But I don’t know why it feels not right.

Would I be unreasonable if I followed DHs advice and left toddler sleeping and took the baby with me downstairs or do you see a security risk in doing so ?

I don’t know my next door neighbors at all, I think I should probably get to know them but they both work and so I don’t think they will be available at these hours either. Else I would’ve taken their number to use in case of said emergency.

What would you suggest as a solution ?

OP posts:
Original poster
AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:09

Tower building*

OP posts:
Settlersofcatan · 31/10/2019 13:14

I wouldn't wake my toddler up in that scenario. I would take the baby as they are less predictable.

Sunshine1235 · 31/10/2019 13:15

My main worry would be that with all the security/fobs etc that you wouldn’t be able to get back up quickly if there was a fire. I wouldn’t really be worried about any other scenario and obviously it’s quite rare but only you can make the call. Isn’t there a way of delivery people being let in or you throwing your fob down to them? If you are getting regular deliveries from the same companies then it’s usually the same drivers so maybe worth talking to them seeing what they suggest?

We used to live in a flat with a communal area down below; we would go down there and take the monitor with us when the kids were asleep. But it was a 30 second sprint back up the stairs if needed and I knew all my neighbours

ChrisPrattsFace · 31/10/2019 13:18

A delivery isn’t ‘said emergency’
However I agree with Pp. my concern would be if doors locked/fobs failed etc but then I’ve been told I am overly cautious!

YouJustDoYou · 31/10/2019 13:19

If you're only going down to open the door, and have a monitor, and the toddler is asleep? Don't see a problem. Though this is mumsnet, where fires will start and lions will be let loose from the zoo and burglars will burgle and all keys will fail.

GlitteryNow · 31/10/2019 13:20

I would use an Amazon locker or something else, as pp said if it's such a palaver to get down to let him in imagine if you couldn't get back up. Can't you talk to your LL and ask for a different entry system? I know plenty of people who live in flats and none of them have to physically go down to open the main door.

LochJessMonster · 31/10/2019 13:21

If you weren't leaving the building and you are alerted to when the driver arrives then I would do it. Surely it's the same as if you live in a huge house with long driveway and have to go to the gates?

GrumpyHoonMain · 31/10/2019 13:24

Cancel the order and re-order it as click and collect or through Amazon Locker. This is not a routine you should be keeping up long term -biggest risk is if there’s a fire or your toddler wakes up and gets hurt somewhere in his room / house and you can’t get to him quickly enough.

GlitteryNow · 31/10/2019 13:24

'Though this is mumsnet, where fires will start and lions will be let loose from the zoo and burglars will burgle and all keys will fail.'

Well sadly we all know that fires do happen in tower blocks. Likening it to 'lions will be let loose from the zoo' is incredibly insensitive.

MillicentMartha · 31/10/2019 13:25

I’d put washing out in the garden without waking sleeping babies. I think you’re fine.

Emelene · 31/10/2019 13:27

Personally I'd be okay with that. But it is your choice.

beestripey · 31/10/2019 13:27

I wouldn't. It feels too far and too convoluted. However slim the likelihood, I'd be worried that something could go wrong with the entry systems or something (sod's law), and worse case leaving you separated from your toddler for a time. Also what if they woke and wondered where you were?

Its one of those things that if it did go wrong, it could be a real nightmare so personally I would not take the risk, though I can appreciate the hassle of getting the stuff up to your flat.

Could you nap the toddler in a pushchair, then go down with both DC and ask the delivery person to carry the item up to the flat for you? Hopefully they'd see your predicament and help you out.

AllyBamma · 31/10/2019 13:27

As someone who is a completely slave to the nap schedule, I completely sympathize but no, I couldn’t leave my child alone for the reasons you are already aware of. I know the likelihood of fire etc is super low but why would you chance it? You’d never forgive yourself. I just think those people who did have something happen to them (like getting locked out or whatever scenario) never thought it would be them until it was.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 31/10/2019 13:28

I think dragging two kids out with you to collect a delivery is a faff and totally unnecessary. If you lived in a house, in the country for example would you bring 2 kids out to the clothes line with you everytime? No.

The likelihood of anything happening like keys fobs failing, fires breaking out, are absolutely minimal. You need to weigh up the probability of anything happening. And if you are gone for 2 minutes unless there is an explosion that engulfs the building and kills you all instantly anyway you would have time to get to the kids. Magnetic locks would disarm on doors so as to allow people to exit without delay.

Leave the kids where they are. It's the easiest option and nothing is going to happen.

EleanorShellstrop100 · 31/10/2019 13:29

No way would I leave my toddler alone in the house. The idea alone is making me anxious! 2 minutes might be nothing but imagine you got stuck in the lift? Imagine the fire alarms went off when you were downstairs - you wouldn’t be allowed up to get the toddler. You’d have to wait downstairs (this happened to me when I left the toddler with a childminder who lived in an apartment block. I arrived to pick him up to find the alarms going off and people crowded outside. People were exiting the building but I was in full panic mode wanting to go in and get my son and I wasn’t allowed - I had to wait downstairs practically hyperventilating until the childminder got downstairs as obviously can’t use the elevator during a fire alarm.) Id never put myself through that again. If you toddler was alone there’d be no one to bring him down. Imagine you forgot your keys! Please don’t leave a toddler alone for something as unimportant as collecting a delivery. Just go and collect the delivery later.

Expressedways · 31/10/2019 13:32

I did similar in my last apartment although it sounds like it was a smaller building than yours. If it genuinely is 2 minutes then I’d do it.

custardbear · 31/10/2019 13:34

I thought Amazon lockers too - I'd struggle to leave my children and leave the home - I'd panic that they'd get into trouble somehow, lift gets stuck, doors lock etc - too many variables and too risky with young toddlers who are into everything

2toe · 31/10/2019 13:36

I wouldn’t because I’ve had a key fob fail at my old flat entrance, luckily someone else was home so I could get in, it does happen and a delivery is just not worth the risk.

EpcotForever · 31/10/2019 13:37

I leave my children napping while I leave the house to put washing on the line, collect the bin from the end of the driveway and if I pop to get something out the car. They will be fine if your quick.

Mascarponeandwine · 31/10/2019 13:38

Trouble with these threads is, you get posters commenting on house / tower block fires when they have no experience of one. They just think they know what they could or would do, and say it wouldn’t be a problem you could just race upstairs, it would only take 2 seconds etc etc. If you honestly believe a fire is a few orange flames and all you have to do is skirt round them and exit the building, you really shouldn’t be trotting out advice as you have no clue.

daisypond · 31/10/2019 13:39

I’d be OK with this. It’s not like you’re leaving the building.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 31/10/2019 13:40

does your toddler nap in a cot? Can they climb out of it?

Original poster
AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:41

thanks everyone.

To be clear, this is absolutely not frequent. We have organised things in a way where shopping and maintenance and so on don’t happen on days when I’m home alone with the kids.

It’s only the odd big bulky items that need me to do that. Else small parcels also can be left behind.

Happens once every two/three months or so.. not frequent at all but usually unpredictable Because it’s from companies who give a 3-5 working days prediction and confirm on the day or a day before so DH can’t change his workschedule to fit around that.

I will speak to the concierge and ask them for input on how to deal with this issue. Just wanted to consult mothers so I can be assertive about security issues if there is one.

Perhaps I can just ask them on the day to make an exception for me due to kids.

OP posts:
TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 31/10/2019 13:41

If the building was on fire as the OP went down for the delivery I might suggest she take her kids with her. If it's not on fire as she goes out to collect the delivery chances are it'll be fine. She'd be likely to smell smoke first... Unless, as already mentioned, in the case of an explosion that's likely to wipe everyone out anyway.

BarbaraofSeville · 31/10/2019 13:42

The likelihood of anything happening like keys fobs failing, fires breaking out, are absolutely minimal

^^ This and probably far less likely than you tripping up or down the stairs while carrying babies, toddlers, parcels etc.

If everything is off and they're asleep, the chances of something untoward in those two minutes is probably lower than winning the lottery.