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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd- leaving toddler home alone for 2 mins?

140 replies

AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:08

Hi,

I know this is such a polarised topic on mumsnet but it’s a debate with DH, I want to find a suitable long term solution.

We live in a secure tower, not on a very high floor. There is 3 security points before a delivery man/guest/maintenance person can reach us. I need to use my fob to let them in.

Often times we schedule these things when DH is at home as I have 2 children under 2, and I cannot go down to let the person/item through easily. However sometimes we don’t get that choice.

So far I’ve been dragging my kids downstairs but at times the items is bulky and I need to carry it, such as our next coming item.

The delivery date was changed to an earlier time where it’s my toddlers nap time. My baby would probably be sleeping too.

I would usually wake the toddler up and put the baby in the sling and go downstairs with them both but DH thinks I should leave toddler sleeping, put the monitor on and go downstairs while being able to watch him.

This gives me anxiety as I keep playing scenarios in my head of “what if the door gets locked or what if a fire started and so on”.

Realistically it takes one or two minutes to go to the building entrance down and collect the items/sign and go back up. But I don’t know why it feels not right.

Would I be unreasonable if I followed DHs advice and left toddler sleeping and took the baby with me downstairs or do you see a security risk in doing so ?

I don’t know my next door neighbors at all, I think I should probably get to know them but they both work and so I don’t think they will be available at these hours either. Else I would’ve taken their number to use in case of said emergency.

What would you suggest as a solution ?

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 01/11/2019 14:13

It’d be interesting to see of those who said they would go down for a delivery whether they’d also go down to the bar in a hotel to fetch a drink to take back up.

I’m not saying either situation is right or wrong but there are definite comparisons and I’ve always found MN users to be generally against leaving children alone in hotel rooms.

gemma19846 · 01/11/2019 14:18

If you can buzz open the door then ask them to bring it up! Whats the issue here? You dont need to go down! I work for the post and post workers run up and down stairs delivering post to flats so why not a parcel company? Next time they buzz on, buzz them in and tell them you cant come down with 2 babies they will have to bring them up! They wont mind, its their job

Abraid2 · 01/11/2019 16:05

interesting to see of those who said they would go down for a delivery whether they’d also go down to the bar in a hotel to fetch a drink to take back up.

Have done this. Not a big drinker though. And depends on the hotel. I wouldn’t in a huge inner city hotel!

RoseToes · 01/11/2019 16:07

I’ve been to the garden to hang washing out whilst my DC have been in the house when they were little, I don’t see it as being any different l

HeadBrickWall · 01/11/2019 16:16

A hotel and a flat are not comparable.
My flat is (well, was when they were younger) childproofed.
My Dc knew it, what they could safely do, what was not allowed.
They knew their bed. If they woke up in their bed they were in familiar surroundings.
A hotel is full of transient strangers, potentially from all over the world. A block of flats is full of your neighbours (ok, you may not know them, but they live there and have a link to the place).

I would, and did leave young children to go and get a delivery or do the washing (all washing machines and tumblers in the building are in a room in the basement behind a fire door). But I wouldn't leave the children in a hotel to get a drink.

Cornettoninja · 01/11/2019 17:08

Fair enough, it was just struck me as a similar set up for comparison that more people had an irl comprehension of.

From a fire perspective it might actually be safer to leave a child in hotel room since they’d be actively looked for in the numbers evacuated or a stuck in the lift situation because other people could have access to the room.

For the record I wouldn’t be comfortable doing either unless there was a very urgent reason but it got me musing.

thisisthetime · 01/11/2019 17:17

It will be fine. Your plan sounds fine and you’ve assessed possible risks. Just make sure you have your keys and if it takes longer than expected, make your excuses/abandon parcel and head back.

HeadBrickWall · 01/11/2019 17:51

From a fire perspective it might actually be safer to leave a child in hotel room since they’d be actively looked for in the numbers evacuated

As opposed to the OP stood at the front door screaming "my kids are inside, get my babies out!"?

merrymouse · 01/11/2019 18:01

I’ve been to the garden to hang washing out whilst my DC have been in the house when they were little, I don’t see it as being any different

Presumably you left all the doors open when you did this, and were also in control of all the doors.

Cornettoninja · 01/11/2019 18:01

As opposed to the OP stood at the front door screaming "my kids are inside, get my babies out!"?

Depends if she gets out. If she was stuck in a lift or stairwell.

It’s all obviously fantasy but there’s always something that’ll fuck your day up.

Trampus100 · 01/11/2019 21:12

That's a hard thing to decide I also have a tolders ad if tolders woke up ad did not see me or hear me ..think that would be very scary for child also I'm sure my bathroom would be upside down ad toilet would be full of stuff ..if it don't feel right ..its not

beestripey · 03/11/2019 08:54

Hope the concierge can help you out OP and management can offer a solution in the future.

But I'm astounded by the number of posters who see no difference between a house with a garden and hanging washing out, and a flat in a tower block, up several storeys, that has 2 sets of security doors, and a lift and a locked front door between the child's room and where the parent would be on the ground floor...

I also think it would be frightening and traumatic for a toddler to wake up and unexpectedly not have their parent within at least shouting distance (or monitor speaking distance), as you would be in a garden hanging the washing out but the child in bed. They would have no clue where their parent was or why they were gone, so I wouldn't do it even without the issue of doors breaking. You couldn't really tell the child in advance could you, as if they would go to sleep or could be trusted to stay in bed. Imagine their scared little face if they realised they were suddenly completely alone, and for several minutes, an eternity for them. For me that's a horrible thought.

MissBarbary · 03/11/2019 09:02

I’d be interesting to see of those who said they would go down for a delivery whether they’d also go down to the bar in a hotel to fetch a drink to take back up

I’m not saying either situation is right or wrong but there are definite comparisons and I’ve always found MN users to be generally against leaving children alone in hotel rooms

There is no comparison between the 2. Here the OP will very briefly be going down to let a delivery in and then straight back into her house. It's a ridiculous comparison to make.

StoppinBy · 04/11/2019 00:46

@Cornettoninja the difference between the two for me would be that I KNOW that hotel staff have direct access to my room but in a private apartment there is no need for anyone to have access to the apartment and presumably a spare key that is help by the building manager is not for them to use at will.

CheshireChat · 04/11/2019 01:34

And people have to get on with day to day life when at home, you really don't need a drink whilst at a hotel (or ever realistically).

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