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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wwyd- leaving toddler home alone for 2 mins?

140 replies

AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:08

Hi,

I know this is such a polarised topic on mumsnet but it’s a debate with DH, I want to find a suitable long term solution.

We live in a secure tower, not on a very high floor. There is 3 security points before a delivery man/guest/maintenance person can reach us. I need to use my fob to let them in.

Often times we schedule these things when DH is at home as I have 2 children under 2, and I cannot go down to let the person/item through easily. However sometimes we don’t get that choice.

So far I’ve been dragging my kids downstairs but at times the items is bulky and I need to carry it, such as our next coming item.

The delivery date was changed to an earlier time where it’s my toddlers nap time. My baby would probably be sleeping too.

I would usually wake the toddler up and put the baby in the sling and go downstairs with them both but DH thinks I should leave toddler sleeping, put the monitor on and go downstairs while being able to watch him.

This gives me anxiety as I keep playing scenarios in my head of “what if the door gets locked or what if a fire started and so on”.

Realistically it takes one or two minutes to go to the building entrance down and collect the items/sign and go back up. But I don’t know why it feels not right.

Would I be unreasonable if I followed DHs advice and left toddler sleeping and took the baby with me downstairs or do you see a security risk in doing so ?

I don’t know my next door neighbors at all, I think I should probably get to know them but they both work and so I don’t think they will be available at these hours either. Else I would’ve taken their number to use in case of said emergency.

What would you suggest as a solution ?

OP posts:
Littlebirdie123 · 31/10/2019 13:45

I wouldn't do it but I know a toddler who locked his mum out of the house. She was only putting the rubbish in the dustbin. He was in the house with his baby brother. The fire brigade had to break in.

Original poster
AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:50

EleanorShellstrop100

Thanks for sharing that story. I hadn’t thought of the fact I might not be allowed back up to my toddler if the alarms sounded. That’s actually horrific.

Ok I’m just going to raise this with the building manager and ask for a solution that safe for my children.

OP posts:
Kungfupanda67 · 31/10/2019 13:50

This and probably far less likely than you tripping up or down the stairs while carrying babies, toddlers, parcels etc.

Exactly.

NoSquirrels · 31/10/2019 13:55

I will speak to the concierge and ask them for input on how to deal with this issue.

Isn’t a concierge for exactly this? To let people in/sign for delivery etc?

GlitteryNow · 31/10/2019 13:57

'Isn’t a concierge for exactly this? To let people in/sign for delivery etc?'

You'd have thought so Confused

runoutofnamechanges · 31/10/2019 13:58

If you have a concierge, can't he leave the parcel with them until you can get downstairs when the children wake? Or can the concierge escort them to the lift and you meet the delivery person on your floor?

Original poster
AmbitiouslyFit · 31/10/2019 13:59

We are shared ownership property and so concierge within the building are only for private residents of the building. So these services don’t cover us.

OP posts:
GoodGriefSunshine · 31/10/2019 14:01

Disasters do happen but we can't live by the rule that if something bad has happened somewhere, sometime then we must base all behaviours upon the disaster happening to you. If we did, we literally would get NOTHING done. Don't cross the road...hell, don't walk on the pavement, cars have swerved at hit people on the pavement. Don't walk under anything as things have fallen and killed people. Don't eat out or drink out, infact, don't go out at all. And for God's sakes, don't stay home either. Disasters happen quite regularly to people at home.......

Abraid2 · 31/10/2019 14:01

Leave them both and bring the monitor down with you.

TheTrollFairy · 31/10/2019 14:03

I would do it and leave the kids sleeping. Take your phone with you (in case the fobs don’t work so you can call for help) and double check you have all keys/fobs with you.

You might not be allowed back up in the case of a fire but realistically, in the 2 mins that it takes you to get down and back up I would be surprised if any services could get to you in that time to stop you!

I have been out to grab stuff from my car which is outside my house which takes equal amount of time as it would for you to get the delivery

Userzzzzz · 31/10/2019 14:07

That seems like quite an annoying set-up if the concierge is there but you can’t use those services. Could you play a supplement to get usage? I hate that sort of segregated set-up. It seems really unfair.

Jenpop234 · 31/10/2019 14:10

2 minutes while asleep? Definitely! The building seems secure, she's not going to go anywhere. I would.
We live in a 3 storey house, DS sleeps on the top floor. If there was a fire and I was on the ground floor, we'd be stuffed. If someone broke in, it's unlikely I would be able to get my son out. People worry too much, you can't live every moment of your life if planning every bad scenario that could possibly happen. If you were leaving your baby untended within the flat itself while you you went down the pub for a couple of hours that would be very different. But a couple of minutes while she's in the crib, no problem.

LaMigraine · 31/10/2019 14:11

I think I probably wouldn't - and I'm quite a lax parent Grin.

I don't think the frequency matters - if something disastrous happens then it's no less likely if you only do it once a year than if you do it once a week.

I do sympathise though - what a complete pain in the bum.

Bibidy · 31/10/2019 14:13

I would 100% go and pick up the deliveries without the kids.

They will be fine! It's a couple of minutes, presumably if you lived in a house you wouldn't drag them both downstairs to the front door with you? It's the same.

nocluewhattodoo · 31/10/2019 14:13

Well the fact you can't use the concierge in your home that you pay for is insane, especially as with shared ownership I imagine you are paying pretty hefty service charges. I'd be complaining about that first and foremost.

I leave DD in the flat when I very occasionally have a delivery man who won't come upstairs (we have no lift) but there is no chance of me being locked out and not able to get back into my flat.

Serin · 31/10/2019 14:14

I wouldn't. Not so much worried about fire but mine would have climbed out the bloody windows.
Anazon lockers are fab.

NoSquirrels · 31/10/2019 14:14

We are shared ownership property and so concierge within the building are only for private residents of the building. So these services don’t cover us.

Urgh - that’s shit! Perhaps he/she is kind, though, and for once-in-a-while things would offer to help... fingers crossed.

NoSquirrels · 31/10/2019 14:16

if you lived in a house you wouldn't drag them both downstairs to the front door with you? It's the same.

It’s really not.

Do you have 3 heavy fire doors that self-lick and can only be opened by an electronic key fob between your upstairs and your downstairs?

It’s not the same.

Beautiful3 · 31/10/2019 14:17

Yes I would leave the children in the apartment and get the delivery. It's only 2 minutes.

Worriedmum1511 · 31/10/2019 14:17

Obviously I'm an awful neglectful parent because I wouldn't have an issue popping down to grab a parcel. I use nap time to run my bins out or clean out my car etc

Fink · 31/10/2019 14:18

I wouldn't even think twice about leaving them for 1-2 minutes, as long as they were safe in cot or similar. I left mine to unload car and similar. The idea of waking a sleeping child just to collect a parcel seems like unnecessary panicking to me.

You obviously have to do what you're comfortable with. But if you make sure you have your keys & fob, and possibly phone, it seems safe enough to me.

SVRT19674 · 31/10/2019 14:19

If it is a genuine two minutes fine. Left mine inside her cot, where she couldn't get out. I wouldn't do it now because she can. She would come down with me.

sashh · 31/10/2019 14:20

We are shared ownership property and so concierge within the building are only for private residents of the building. So these services don’t cover us.

I'd accidentally put in one of the private addresses then.

Do you have a neighbour who could sit in with your kids for 5 mins?

Could you leave a fob with concierge? I assume you and your dh both have fobs so if he is going out could it be left in an envelope for the delivery driver to let himself up ot the flat and hand it over to you?

Sweetaholic · 31/10/2019 14:21

I wouldn't do it. I have been stuck in a lift and been in a tower block where there was a fire. The smoke was thick and heavy very quickly.

Raphael34 · 31/10/2019 14:22

I’d leave the kids upstairs, wouldn’t be an issue for me