Wwyd- leaving toddler home alone for 2 mins?

[AmbitiouslyFit]

Hi,

I know this is such a polarised topic on mumsnet but it’s a debate with DH, I want to find a suitable long term solution.

We live in a secure tower, not on a very high floor. There is 3 security points before a delivery man/guest/maintenance person can reach us. I need to use my fob to let them in.

Often times we schedule these things when DH is at home as I have 2 children under 2, and I cannot go down to let the person/item through easily. However sometimes we don’t get that choice.

So far I’ve been dragging my kids downstairs but at times the items is bulky and I need to carry it, such as our next coming item.

The delivery date was changed to an earlier time where it’s my toddlers nap time. My baby would probably be sleeping too.

I would usually wake the toddler up and put the baby in the sling and go downstairs with them both but DH thinks I should leave toddler sleeping, put the monitor on and go downstairs while being able to watch him.

This gives me anxiety as I keep playing scenarios in my head of “what if the door gets locked or what if a fire started and so on”.

Realistically it takes one or two minutes to go to the building entrance down and collect the items/sign and go back up. But I don’t know why it feels not right.

Would I be unreasonable if I followed DHs advice and left toddler sleeping and took the baby with me downstairs or do you see a security risk in doing so ?

I don’t know my next door neighbors at all, I think I should probably get to know them but they both work and so I don’t think they will be available at these hours either. Else I would’ve taken their number to use in case of said emergency.

What would you suggest as a solution ?

It’s basically going to your front door to sign for a delivery

It would be like going to your front door to sign for a delivery if you regard the space between your flat and the entrance to to the building as 'home' space and would feel happy to leave your front door open.

Some blocks of flats are like that, some aren't.

No problem with this at all

The fact you posted on here suggests you wouldn’t feel happy going to collect the parcel and leaving your DC for two minutes in this situation. Why fight your instinct?

Arrange for the delivery another day and know that your peace of mind is worth more than a convenient parcel delivery.

I would definitely not go and collect under these circumstances.

I live in a unit on the 2nd floor and I do this all the time. Wake a toddler and baby, put baby in a sling and get toddler to walk down to the front door? I don't think my toddler is any more uncooperative than most, but the delivery person would be waiting 20 minutes by the time we got there!

We are shared ownership property and so concierge within the building are only for private residents of the building. So these services don’t cover us.

Could you offer the concierge a few quid to let the delivery people in? I know its not their job but a few quid and ask nicely and explain I think most people wouldn't mind letting them in if they had to be there for the other residents anyway.

I’d move, what a bloody palaver. When they’re both mobile and not napping what then?

Since it isn't very often, I would have it delivered to a locker or your DH work.

When I lived alone, I had things delivered to my work.

Amazon locker would be great but they often don't accept bulky items.

Would it be realistic to get the items delivered to DH place of work?

Otherwise I think offering the concierge a fiver to help with occasional ad-hoc issues like this would be the way to go. You might even suggest it as an official scheme to the building management company - gives them an additional revenue stream to pay for the concierge service if the non-owner residents can have a pay-as-you-go option.

We live in a house rather than an apartment building like yours but I go out in the yard all the time with the baby monitor for a lot longer than 2 minutes.

There's not much that would that could need attention that would make me wake up a sleeping child. Never wake a sleeping baby if you can help it

If it doesn't feel right don't do it.

Could you not have items delivered to your DHs workplace for him to collect there? Or a friend or relative nearby?

It is not safe or acceptable to leave small children alone.

Have parcels delivered to a safe location (Amazon locker/Argos/ participating store) and collect, or get someone else to collect them later.

You can have items delivered to an Amazon delivery point which is usually a shop or post office close to where you live. They keep it for about one week. It’s a different service to the locker other posters are mentioning.

Ummm what’s the issue here? You are still technically in the building. People have got so precious these days. Everyone needs to get a grip! I think it’s fine OP.

I've left mine asleep for 5-10 minutes pegging washing out and for a few minutes to empty the bins. We are ground floor for bedrooms though, i would worry in a high rise about toddler getting out and onto the balcony. I suspect that's a combination of my anxiety and acrobat dc.

My nan used to leave my dad outside the front of house as a baby. We saw it on Call the Midwife and she confirmed it. Mum wasnt too bothered though she would only do back garden, i really didn't like the front garden but was fine with enclosed back. My sister disliked both. It was interesting seeing how different we all thought.

I wouldn’t but then my toddlers had a knack for climbing to the top of cupboards, fridges and wardrobes within seconds. I remember when little DS was in hospital- in two minute he was turning somersaults off the cot which the nurses hastily wheeled out then tore around the corridors for the next hour or so. If they were older then maybe but toddlers are unpredictable and not aware of danger.

If it were me I'd say to the delivery driver "I'm so sorry, I'm upstairs with a baby and toddler sleeping. Please can you bring the parcel up." Only incredibly heavy things like bathroom furniture and wood flooring seem to specify kerbside delivery only. If you can't open doors remotely then talk to the building manager about changing that because it isn't practical.

Is it possible to get the item delivered to your OHs work, this is what we do if I know I'm going to be out. Or a pick up point or Amazon locker. I got a big toy delivered to a pick up point which is a newsagents, I thought there may be a issue with the size but there wasn't. Or possibly have it delivered to a family member who you know is often in. So much easier than waiting in or messing about with flights of stairs and babies!

I used to live in a flat. The delivery man pressed the buzzer and i pressed a button on the intercom to open the door. It seems like so much messing about! You need a new entry system off the landlord. How does the postman get in to deliver every morning? What a faff!

So the main entrance to building I can open using intercom buzzer. Sorry for confusion. Postman has no problem getting to the postbox.

I could technically leave the item next to the postbox until DH comes but it’s not really safe and also I need to sign.

There is however a second secured door after that and a lift. Both need fob to open/operate. I could technically call the elevator up to my flat with the item/delivery person in. So the middle door is the main issue really and I don’t really get why it’s there tbh.

Shall be discussing with building manager at next meeting. Thanks everyone!

Amazon collection points might be my back up plan. Will discuss with DH.

I!m a tad shocked by this question. But Im more shocked by the number pf people on here who think Its fine, its omly 2 mins. And others who compare this as to having a big house with long driveway! It is totally different to remaining on your own property whereby you know who is around. This lady is talking about leaving a chid unattended in a biilding which anybody and everybody can access. Anybody could be loitering about. Or lets say God Forbid, a neighbours fridge blows up at the same time as your delivery arrives because that is how Grenfell Towers was burned to the ground. Say you get stuck in the elevator, you are powerless to do anything about it. There are a number of reasons that p otentially puts your child in grave

danger! Honestly, you are taking major risks over a parcel and you need to come up with a better solution. NEVER LEAVE YOUR CHILD UNNATTENDED IN ANY COMMUNAL BUILDING. SLEEPING OR NOT. . IT IS NOT WORTH WHAT POTENTIALLY COULD HAPPEN! X

This lady is talking about leaving a chid unattended in a biilding which anybody and everybody can access.

If anybody and everybody could access it, she wouldn't have this problem as the delivery guy could go straight up. Don't be so dramatic!

Victoria, Nobody can get access to my kids in my flat :S. But if I leave the door unlocked to my flat then only neighbours on the same floor can access it as they will be the only ones able to reach that floor using the lift. However that’s absolutely not a concern for me. Nobody is roaming around the flat it is tightly secured. A bit too tight is the issue.

The flats have child locks on all the windows and so I have no worry of a child jumping off. I never open the windows beyond the child lock (5cm open basically).

But I get the grenfell tower sensitivity. I posted my question at such a sensitive time unknowingly. But yes the idea of being locked away from the kids does frighten me which is why I will find an alternative to all this.

Seriously, just take a doorstop with you

You talk of the lift, but there must surely be stair access to each level too.

As someone previously mentioned, I have hung a washing out while my kids have slept and taken the monitor with me. Personally, I would take the monitor and go pick up the parcel