To say sod it and actually go and help children who need it!!

[SimpleSaying1]

I run a Beaver scout group. When it started there was a great understanding from parents that this was a community thing and parents regularly volunteered and helped out. I was involved as my kids both went through and then I stayed on. As it has grown it has become a really popular and active group, with a big waiting list. But the generation of parents who grew it with me have moved on and it has left this really entitled and difficult bunch of parents who seem to think it is a service they are paying for and have no involvement. I struggle week on week to have enough leaders. The only person who really helps is my son who I helped start it for his peers and is now older!! This week I cancelled an event because after asking numerous times no one would help and I didn't have safe ratios. The ONLY comments I got were angry at me for messing up childcare planning and parents demanding part of their subs back because the session didn't run that week!!! I'm a good scout leader, I do a lot for the kids and I love it but even they seem to have a different attitude now. The area has become increasingly wealthy and I feel more and more that I'm providing after-school childcare rather than a meaningful activity that enriches children's lives. In another local town which is really much more deprived they are starting another group, they've got lots of parents volunteers and need an experienced leader. I am so, so tempted to jack it in with the group I've got (it would only carry on if a parent then picked it up) and go and work with this other group?

@SimpleSaying1 good for you and good luck with your new pack

Well done OP.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel supported and appreciated when you are giving up your own time to help others.

Best of luck with the new group.💐

Well done.

Our group offer reduced subs for leaders to try and encourage people to volunteer.

Good for you, i’m sure the other group will appreciate your efforts in a much greater way. You should find your enthusiasm is renewed.

I'm so pleased OP. I've been a brownie and rainbow leader. I've taken a step back for now as it was thankless. We once had to speak to a parent about her child's behaviour and she told me that dealing with her child was what I got paid for. When I pointed out I didn't get paid she said ok well "donation" then. She's the only child we eventually asked to leave.
My DMum is a brownie leader and I don't know how she does it. It's not even just about the lack of help from parents, some of them are just plain difficult. She's organised a trip for the girls that needs to know numbers in advance for security reasons. Several of them still haven't got back to her despite emails, texts, letter and (missed) phone calls. I told her she should say that if she hasn't heard then they're not going but she feels that's taking it out on the girls when it's their parents who've not responded.

Good move op. Good luck.

Well done OP, hope you don't get too many complaints from the entitled parents

YANBU, I'm a Rainbow leader in a very similar position, started as a teen to keep mums unit going (that she opened for me) moved and ended up at a unit so my daughter could go, she left years ago but I still travel straight from work to get there, we had a meeting lately where the other leader needed a parent to stay til I got there as I was stuck in traffic, they didn't even need to do anything, just be there for ratios, the attitude we got! I'm seriously considering moving to the one nearer work.

I have had children in Rainbows, Brownies, Guides, Beavers and Cubs. The Rainbows asked me to help out once and I did but that's was it. Now, however, our cubs unit needs a parent helper every week or the group won't run. Honestly it's my idea of a nightmare and extremely difficult for me to arrange to do due to other commitments. That said my child really enjoys cubs so I will do it. I also really appreciate the leaders and everything they do. It sounds like your parents do not, so I'd say go if you want to. Maybe they will step up, but whatever happens it's not your problem!

I can't understand how you'd send your kid to a cheap/ free activity and not expect to volunteer? How else would it be run?! By someone else's kindness apparently

Good.YANBU.

I volunteered to manage my sons soccer team this year, and it had extra duties as the coach was new to coaching and only 18. I have an invisible illness/disability and since no one else would do it, and then there would be no soccer team - I put my hand up - conditionally that everyone understood I could not set up the fields or pack them up. This was something they would need to do, or drop their kids early to help.Only one parent ever helped.
Not once, in the 8 times our team was rostered on did any of the other help - in fact one used to regularly sit in a chair watching me with braces on hands, knees or back struggling to get the goals etc set up. I ended up teaching the kids to do it, after the coach and I made a rule that if you were there to help,set up or back up - you didn't play. Cue phalanxes of moaning parents about the gross inconvenience of dropping a child off early.
Same set of parents never responded to texts re match changes, let us know if kids were sick etc.
So lazy, rude and entitled and selfish.

Too many people these days think they are too important or are too self focused, locked away in their own world view box - that we are loosing the sense of community we used to have, and becoming increasingly selfish. There are quite a few posters on this thread who have made that quite clear.

Glad you quit OP, and I hope the new troop treats you well.

Good choice, Simplesaying. Maybe once it's closed, they'll realise what they've lost.

I know I'm a lot older than many mums these days but back in my day, in the 1970s, our Brownies was run with a Brown Owl and Tawny Owl and maybe a couple of Guide helpers. We had at least 6 Sixes in our group, so the ratios weren't as stringent then - and I remember days when it was just Brown Owl there with one Guide for help.

Maybe some people think that's still an acceptable way for things to run - it isn't. The ratios have been given up-thread - one leader per 6 children with one extra just in case.

I am a PTA-equivalent president (P&C) in Australia at my boys' primary school, and our canteen relies on volunteers to staff it the 2 days a week it is open. It is hell on wheels trying to get enough people to volunteer - half a day, even once a term (10 week terms) from enough people to create a roster would be great! And I KNOW there are parents out there who COULD volunteer but refuse to - they don't work, they don't have younger children, they just Can't Be Arsed. There's far too much of that going on these days, sadly. :(

I’m a governor but have done a few volunteer roles. I have four kids, two of whom are in SeN school so volunteering is not easy.

I have a general rule of thumb now that my time is so precious. Volunteering has to give me something. Wether that be experience or a warm fuzzy glow. If it has no positives I go. I used to set up and help run a NCT group. One day the new group chair emailed all of us that ran the group and said we couldn’t get free entry as a perk to setting up. But she worded it “being a net drain on the group, diverting funds from the core beliefs “ but if I didn’t go, they didn’t get my entrance donations. It was worded like us volunteers was parasites. That’s when I had a lightbulb moment. The more you do, the more people’s take the piss. THEn they couldn’t find volunteers and that activity stopped.

Volunteering should always make you feel happy. You get paid to feel miserable

Leave and tell them why

Just want to say thank you to the OP and all the other volunteers on here. My Ds has been a member of beavers and Cubs and gets so much out of it. I'm very grateful to the leaders and everyone who gives their time so freely

My sons went to Beavers/Cubs/Scouts and I was outraged that any parent felt the need to complain. I always pointed out that the leaders were not paid - they gave freely of their time and that the appropriate response was GRATITUDE.

Well done, OP! I think you chose well. I look back at my life and really wish I'd got out sooner from various things. Life is short and you never get the time back.

The issue I’ve had also is that nowadays you are on thin ice when it comes to discipline. I find kids can be a bit more sensitive than when I very first got involved (as a kid myself !) and also slightly harder to keep engaged. I feel like an 8yo is less likely to be happy with a simple indoor craft when they could be home with the entire content of Netflix, YouTube and an Xbox account enticing them. So I try so hard to do engaging activities that an exciting but it’s not possible every single session and also badge earning is still a thing and not all those activities are thrilling! Then discipline comes into it - parents see it as a service they are paying for and do not want their child shouted at or upset at something they think should be fun. Fair enough. But it means I have to be clever and persuasive to manage some kids and it takes so much energy. When I was tiny, one leader and one helped could manage 35 kids with a raised eyebrow and a snarl. We fearfully respected them but loved going still. Now especially as a younger leader and with kids with SEN or Social/Emotional needs you have to be like a fun older friend.

Just to add that I don’t begrudge kids with any sort of additional need attending. Some of my very best kids and parents are those very kids. But it takes so much more energy and clever tactics to manage in a sympathetic way, I’ve even been on a two hour unpaid course on a Saturday that I paid a fiver for to get better behavior techniques in place. Their tips were ‘get them on side’... this usually ends up with them thinking they’re actually in charge

Good for you! if you can’t or don’t want to help out, you shouldn’t send your child to scouts/guides. some clubs you pay with money, some with time. you cannot send your child to an expensive club if you don’t have the money, you can’t send them to beavers etc if you can’t make the fairly minimal time requirement (3-6 hours per YEAR!)

Have you given notice to the parents? How did they react?

Well done OP. There's no point staying where you arent appreciated. People may suck it up if the reward was a good wage but when the reward is moaning and rudeness, not so.

You tried everything to get them on board, now they reap what they sow.

In terms of time for volunteering some people genuinely don't have time (work, caring etc) but usually you spot those parents a mile off they aren'tthe moaning entitled ones. The others saying 'no time' mean 'i prioritise my time over volunteering for my child on occasion', fine that's there choice but then they can't expect someone else to prioritise their time for their child. And they certainly aren't entitled to moan and be rude over it. That's when they ruin it for everyone.

Good for you, OP! Have a great time with your new group.

Well done OP, that seems to be be the best solution. I'm sure the new group are delighted to have you.
Found this thread quite surprising as I was involved as a volunteer scout leader for a few years (in Ireland) and parents were not allowed volunteer on an ad hoc basis at all!

We had to have the correct leader/child ratio at all times, police-clearance, child safety training and minimum level of training before starting with a fixed time frame in which to complete more substantial training. (Residential training so a big commitment). So without enough fully committed leaders, there would be no scout group at all. Parents without training/clearance could not help out. If a parent agreed to become a volunteer and did the prelim training/clearance, their child would be guaranteed a place (always a waiting list) as the more leaders, the more kids. I was surprised to see how casual it seems to be in the UK (if I understand it correctly).

Well done.
Entitled cfs.