To say sod it and actually go and help children who need it!!

[SimpleSaying1]

I run a Beaver scout group. When it started there was a great understanding from parents that this was a community thing and parents regularly volunteered and helped out. I was involved as my kids both went through and then I stayed on. As it has grown it has become a really popular and active group, with a big waiting list. But the generation of parents who grew it with me have moved on and it has left this really entitled and difficult bunch of parents who seem to think it is a service they are paying for and have no involvement. I struggle week on week to have enough leaders. The only person who really helps is my son who I helped start it for his peers and is now older!! This week I cancelled an event because after asking numerous times no one would help and I didn't have safe ratios. The ONLY comments I got were angry at me for messing up childcare planning and parents demanding part of their subs back because the session didn't run that week!!! I'm a good scout leader, I do a lot for the kids and I love it but even they seem to have a different attitude now. The area has become increasingly wealthy and I feel more and more that I'm providing after-school childcare rather than a meaningful activity that enriches children's lives. In another local town which is really much more deprived they are starting another group, they've got lots of parents volunteers and need an experienced leader. I am so, so tempted to jack it in with the group I've got (it would only carry on if a parent then picked it up) and go and work with this other group?

100% go and be clear why.

volunteering wasn’t possible for me at the current time and situation

This is different from not being arsed Menorca and I think it's fair enough. Some people work shifts etc, or have disabled/elderly relatives to care for. We can't do everything.

Most, however, are just too idle/entitled/uninterested to bother.

I will put in a plea to those parents who can’t help on the parent rota due to other commitments to offer to help with fundraising. Some of this can be done from home, eg writing to organisations for donations and grants.

As many people have said subs really only cover the basics, most groups rely on donations etc

And this is why I gave up volunteering with a scout group! The vitriol, the demands and the general unpleasantness from the parents.

When I was growing up (80s/90s) everything was run by mums who were either SAHMs or worked part-time. Now, the majority of women I know work full time. Could this be a factor?

And, YWNBU to quit based on the abuse alone.

honestly, so many people don't realise these groups are run by volunteers, and if they want them to continue, then people like them will need to voluenteer too.

I would suggest you send a message to all parents, give them notice that you are stepping down as Beaver leader, that this will mean unless someone else volunteers to take over, the group will close at that point. Say you are giving notice so that any parents who want the group to continue can step forward, and suggest the responsibility could be shared between 2-3 parents. Going from nothing to running a whole group might seem daunting, but doing it in a group is a bit of an easier ask for someone who's never done anything like this before.

I'd also suggest as well as sending this in an email, you print out a letter for Beavers to take home. Tell them that the group needs new parents or grandparents to volunteer to run it or it will close.

I'd also be tempted to contact parents of children on the waiting list and tell them that the group will be closing down unless new volunteers can be found, and state a place will be garenteed for the child of any volunteer.

I think you should go too.

I expect those groups that don't require parental support are ones that already have enough community volunteers to be able to do without parents as extras - but some groups do not have that luxury and clearly the OP's group is one of the latter.

So, since they all seem to have attitudes that they've paid you to do the job and it's your choice to volunteer so suck it up, I would sack it off completely and let one of them, or someone else, take it on or let it die. It's sad when that happens (similar happened to my Dad running a Beavers group) but that's what happens when people expect everyone else to pick up after them.

Jayne your attitude absolutely stinks.
OP I run a Brownie unit but luckily there are three of us so we rarely have to ask for parents involvement. One week one of us couldn’t attend and I sent an email asking if anyone could help and not one person even acknowledged the email. My DD attends the unit I help to run which is how I got involved initially, but in all honesty, when she’s too old for Brownies I’m not sure I’ll carry on. You sound a lot nicer than me but I can’t see myself giving up my time for entitled people who don’t appreciate it.

This is different from not being arsed Menorca and I think it's fair enough. Some people work shifts etc, or have disabled/elderly relatives to care for. We can't do everything.

The problem is that most people don't just say they can't be bothered to. They all have a reason. Caring/shift work/transport etc.
Rather oddly one of the favourite reasons used to be "I have other children to look after". Which was often said to me while I held baby ds and older dd1 was helping tidy up at the end, dd2 being in the group.

It was very noticeable that when the leader went from a "please sign up" to a "if you have a child here then you help once a term or we close because we can't operate without the right adult:child ratio" every single one of those people who "absolutely couldn't" suddenly found that they could, and what's more, some of them found they really enjoyed it and said they looked forward to helping.
It also made them more appreciative of the effort the leader went into for their dc each week. We then had parents coming forward offering to organise different activities.
It was a win all round.

There are plenty of other ways you can help without actually being at the activity for those "too busy" : washing the team football kit/ taking it to/from the laundry. Picking up the craft supplies. Baking the biscuits to be decorated.

All things that volunteers routinely do as well as turning up on the Tuesday evening/ Saturday morning.

Esther Wojciki, mother of three successful DDs (CEO of YouTube, CEO of 23&Me, professor or paediatric neurology) talks a lot about the importance of community giving and success.

I do t think it's any coincidence that some of the most successful people I know, from CEOs to community leaders, those at the top of their field have a strong belief in community and giving time not just money.

I'm quite certain both me and my DCs gain and have gained huge successes because of our belief in community.

Also for those who think the subs cover everything you may not be aware that a chunk of that money has to be paid up the chain of the organisation to cover things like training, public liability insurance. In our unit approximately £45 per young person is paid annually up to District, which takes their element, then the balance is paid up to County and then the final balance is paid to National. It doesn’t leave a lot for the group to play with, especially if they have their own hut to maintain.

Another simple thing some parents can help with if you are good at sewing, is sewing on badges for other children. It is amazing how many parents don’t know how to sew on a badge! But it shows a community spirit if you help with this. It does seem wrong that people send their children to groups like this and expect their children to embrace the community spirit but do nothing themselves.

Reading these posts.... so many of the beaver volunteers come across as angry and bitter.

They don’t actually but if they did it would be because of the entitled, unreasonable prats they have to deal with.

Definitely go to other group. Overprivilidged kids don’t need it.

Our cubs group sends out a schedule at the beginning of a new term and allocates a parent (or two) for each week’s activity. That way the parents of every cub has to help out just once a term. Would that work?

Do it!

Well I think we've all seen with our own eyes on this thread the type of shit that is making the OP want to quit.

Yes indeed Angelina

This is different from not being arsed Menorca and I think it's fair enough. Some people work shifts etc, or have disabled/elderly relatives to care for. We can't do everything.

But no one says “I can’t be arsed to volunteer”. They either don’t say anything or they have a reason (whether true or not is another matter).

And, Menorca, if you can't/don't want to volunteer for things in life, that's OK. I don't think the OP is upset about that particularly. It's when those same people then complain or have a go at her when she IS volunteering for the benefit of THEIR kids that is becomes an issue.

My son goes to beavers. husband and i both work long hours with a long commute, we still manage to help out 1-2 times per term. if we can do it, most people can. if they don’t want to - tough luck, go to the other group!

I was a beaver leader. Also I work full time and have kids and animals.

Did you know the ratio for beavers is one adult to six kids? And a spare just in case. Those who have been able to drop and run have been very fortunate that their groups have got lots of volunteers who make the effort. Unfortunatly a lot don’t make the effort.

Scouting is run by volunteers and needs volunteers.

Its beavers! you pay a tiny amount a term, and it’s obvious that its volunteer led. if you can’t/don’t want to help, just don’t send your child. easy.

For me it's because I'm a single parent with younger children. I couldn't take my other children with me if I was to volunteer and I couldn't afford a babysitter

Some of these stories are really making my sports club look good. We recently took 16 kids away to a competition and asked for parents to volunteer to timekeep. Only one person even acknowledged the email, despite the fact that the majority of parents were also attending the event. They just wanted to sit on the balcony and chat, instead of actually doing something.

@PegasusReturns you have reminded me...

In my daughter's primary school there was a lovely retired teacher that used to give Drama classes for free to the upper classes. These classes were popular and every year a little Christmas pageant would be put on locally that was very successful.

One particular class was very challenging.... because of the parents. Lots of PFB's and seriously entitled parents who were a bunch of complainers.

One of the most vocal in the class was very put out when her daughter wasn't picked for the lead.
Kicked up a big fuss and apparently was quite rude to the teacher.

Drama teacher sent a note home the following day informing all parents that due to the abuse she had received from a particular parent, the pageant would now be cancelled.
She would not be spoken to like that by anyone, particularly when giving up her time. She had the full support of the Principal.

Now everyone knew who had behaved badly, it was the talk of the place. A lot of parents felt it was very unfair as 29 other children were being penalized. The children were upset too. She didn't back down.

That class did the pageant the following year without a murmur.

What I can tell you is that the word was out there that she wouldn't be messed with and she has continued those classes to this day.

Personally I think she was right. She'd had enough, and she certainly put manners on the parent involved, who was mortified that her awful behaviour had been so publicly called out.

Unfortunately for some parents, they neglect to realise when someone is doing them and their children a favour, donating their time, and imagine they can speak to them in anyway they choose.