To say sod it and actually go and help children who need it!!

[SimpleSaying1]

I run a Beaver scout group. When it started there was a great understanding from parents that this was a community thing and parents regularly volunteered and helped out. I was involved as my kids both went through and then I stayed on. As it has grown it has become a really popular and active group, with a big waiting list. But the generation of parents who grew it with me have moved on and it has left this really entitled and difficult bunch of parents who seem to think it is a service they are paying for and have no involvement. I struggle week on week to have enough leaders. The only person who really helps is my son who I helped start it for his peers and is now older!! This week I cancelled an event because after asking numerous times no one would help and I didn't have safe ratios. The ONLY comments I got were angry at me for messing up childcare planning and parents demanding part of their subs back because the session didn't run that week!!! I'm a good scout leader, I do a lot for the kids and I love it but even they seem to have a different attitude now. The area has become increasingly wealthy and I feel more and more that I'm providing after-school childcare rather than a meaningful activity that enriches children's lives. In another local town which is really much more deprived they are starting another group, they've got lots of parents volunteers and need an experienced leader. I am so, so tempted to jack it in with the group I've got (it would only carry on if a parent then picked it up) and go and work with this other group?

Yes Jayne, it's their choice and so they can choose to not facilitate parents who can't be arsed and close groups.

It sounds like OP has a very busy life but she still does plenty in her community.

I'm a Brown Owl and run our local Brownies. We have lovely parents.

I think it's salvageable. Email all the parents on the waiting list and current members explain that without some people stepping up the unit will have to close. So you need 2 assistant leaders and each parent to attend once a year as a condition of membership. There are several volunteer aps that they can sign up on and it's their responsibility to swap if they can't make it for any reason.
If no-one comes forward then, I would certainly move to the next town.

Go. And don't feel guilty.

How sad. I bet you find the new group refreshes your enthusiasm. I'd give them warning for a Christmas finish and go out with a party. If none of them can be bothered to pick up, the group folds.

Sounds familiar. I previously volunteered with our local and amazing scout group. There were some v entitled parents. One complained on fb that her child's cub pack hadn't organised a xmas party. Another parent moaned that they hadn't been told what shoes to bring for a treasure hunt! I'd move on and email the parents telling them why.

@SimpleSaying1 well either do something about it or stop doing it.

My DD goes to Brownies while I work. I've been open from when she first joined that I'd love to volunteer but it's logistically impossible.

I make sure to thank the leaders and helpers regularly, give them cards at end of term, Christmas etc. Send biscuits every now and then. I hope they know how much I appreciate the time and energy they give.

But, what irks me is that during the same initial convo I offered to do whatever they needed behind the scenes. Admin, finance, planning, resourcing etc. I have lots of relevant voluntary sector experience. The leader was delighted and said that would be an enormous help. I've been DBS'd but my help has never been asked for.

So, while I appreciate the dedication leaders give, please can they also accept help when it's offered.

Yes, I have had experience of something similar in a Guide group.

Sod them and go where your help is appreciated.

I was watching a leader in the park with her rainbows last week.

I couldn’t understand what she got from it, it looked like hard work, constantly trying to get them together. Making them listen, do the activity.

What difference do you make to nice middle class children’s lives? I just thought these groups are about socialising and belonging to a club.

NOt being mean, I just don’t get it.

Oh Lord, go.
YANBU.
Entitled selfish parents.

@SimpleSaying1

I would move to new group in a heartbeat

@Jaynetheplane you are the entitled parent who thinks their time is more precious than anyone else's. Let's hope your child learns compassion & life skills to be a valuable member of society instead of one of life's takers.

Groups cannot not run safely without adult leaders & helpers. Safeguarding requires a certain adult : kid ratio

Subs is a nominal fee & generally barely covers costs.

I would post a cheery note to the effect that the recent decline in parental support means that the club is no longer viable so has ended as of last week. That as a volunteer you have no interest in responding to complaints about events not running when it’s the lack of parents willing or able to help that make the situation unresolvable. Wishing you all a happy Halloween and 🥳
You could also say there will be other groups whose waiting lists your children can join or if someone wants to step forward to run this group you are happy to share any useful information

I think this suggestion is excellent. Maybe give a couple of weeks' notice.

YANBU, OP. Go help the other group.

I’d go. You have asked multiple times for volunteers and got parents being rude back.
Go and help at the other group and get them up and running. As people have said the more deprived kids need it more. The entitled ones are just using it as a tick in the “ activities” box.

Maybe next year you will have enough interest to get it back running again.

I’d suggest giving a half term’s notice.

“With a heavy heart I have to announce this unit will close at Christmas. I’m stepping down after X years and we don’t have sufficient parent volunteers to keep the unit going.
Should any parents wish to step in and keep the unit going for the children, please contact XYZ”

All of mine have been through Scouting/Guiding and 2 of them volunteer as junior helpers now. It’s been a fantastic resource for them. I’ve helped at sessions, done emergency cover, mucked in a fundraisers and generally do my best to support the brilliant volunteers who run the groups.
It’s incredibly hard work and time consuming, they all have full time jobs and I have nothing but awe for their commitment to the children. They give up evenings, weekends for camps, their holiday time for big events/trips, do masses of paperwork and chasing parents for unpaid dues as well as planning and running the sessions.
Anyone treating the groups as subsidised childcare needs to give themselves a shake.

Like yours Our beavers made it very clear that a condition of joining it was helping out - she is quite happy for siblings to come along and DD (older) loves her half termly helping out at beavers.
Brownies used to have 4 helpers but one had a baby and the other a job promotion so the Brown Owl asked for opinions either if we knew of someone willing to do every week or if we would do one a term as parents. We did one a term. She has just become a guide but that’s fine as the ratios are a lot less
Give them half a term notice that you simply cannot keep running it and move to the other one. As posters have made clear it’s all a choice so make yours

YANBU! Scout and Guide leaders are wonderful and I've never had anything but gratitude for ours. I would be horrified to hear of complaints because of an event not running because parents wouldn't help. I think you need to write a very frank message to all parents about the nature of this group and explain that without a regular committment from parents to help, you will close the group. If those tactics don't work, move on. But remember, there are some of us out there who are immeasurably grateful for what people like you have don't for our children on a voluntary basis. You've just got stuck with idiots this time round!

In our Scout group the Explorers help out with the Beavers and Cubs as part of their Young Leader training. We also have teenagers who are doing Duke of Edinburgh. Maybe you could get help from them?

Of course YANBU if no help is forthcoming. There is only so much that one person can do.

I've just signed up my daughter to Rainbows. There's been no talk of volunteering and I wouldn't be able to if I did. I work full time and have three children to drop various places on that night. But I also am a school governor in a deprived area (massive commitment), run a women's group, head up a local authority oversight committee and my husband runs a children's sports club, as well being involved in various other community ad hoc events. It does seem to be the same people volunteering all the time, with others doing absolutely nothing yet expecting to have the advantage of facilities and clubs run by volunteers. They don't volunteer because they're too busy. Well so is everyone else!

I think the idea that on signing up, parents must commit to helping at one session a term, is brilliant.
Not just because it generates the labour, but also because it will open the eyes of each parent as to just how much it takes. They will have worked alongside you and be less likely to be arseholes. It’s also an arsehole filter, it will put off most of the worst parents.
I’d have struggled to volunteer when mine was that age, I worked full time and my youngest has CP and very high needs, but if DD1 had wanted it, I’m sure I could have made one evening or weekend commitment.
Not that I’d need it to recognise the fantastic value in what you do, and be grateful.

In your circumstances, I’d definitely move to the other group. Not out of petulance, but it sounds like you are more needed there. The current lot could afford to pay for other after school activities or care, and aren’t into the ethos at all.

It’s staggering how people behave. I go to a church toddler group. There is a very small charge (often waved if mum forgets or is hard up) that goes towards but doesn’t cover materials. We get tea and coffee, children get a snack and drink. There is always a craft as well as lots of toys. The volunteers move all the chairs each week, prepare everything (sometimes cutting 70 bits out etc!). I’m always astounded by the comments from some people that seem to assume that volunteers are somehow quids in... its bizarre. I think if you haven’t ever tried to run a similar group then maybe you don’t realise the time and costs involved.
At times when many council run services have closed, you’d think parents would be keen to keep community groups like scouts.

I would move. Yes you could keep trying but why bother when they don’t appreciate you.

There are so many paid activity clubs now that parents get used to feeling like they are paying for a service, or for childcare. People like Jaynethepain might not realise that Scouts, Guides, Brownies etc is different. You are paying a tiny amount to cover the cost of hall hire etc, and relying on the goodwill and unpaid labour of the volunteers who really want to benefit the kids.

It's hugely beneficial to the kids, especially the ones whose parents literally can't afford other enrichment activities. But it only works if there are enough volunteers, and sometimes that means parents stepping up when they're asked.

@WutheringTights, to be fair I do have a parent who is just like you. She can't volunteer in the evenings for very genuine reasons and does loads of others things, but is always the first person to step forward for a weekend or trip activity!! Thank you for everything you do! And @Gazelda is also right - I am so grateful to the lady who does all our admin, it's just the hands on deck in the evening I struggle with...

And this is why we had to close our troop. Blah blah blah working parents blah no time blah. The leaders have jobs and kids too, they put a huge amount of effort into it, yet the minute you ask for any help, it's tumbleweed at best, outright rudeness at the worst

People can't be arsed, and now neither can we

I ran a group for several years. Parents paid a small fee to cover the rent of the premises. Those of us who ran the club were all volunteers. We gave up a lot of our time outside the meetings to plan activities, competitions, do the accounts, DBS checks, attend training etc.
We asked for one parent of each child to attend a session once a term to ensure the adult/child ration was assured.
The rudeness and entitlement of the majority of parents was breathtaking.
These same parents were frequently happy to spend the session having a coffee and a gossip in the same building. One mum would spend every session reading her book in the reception area, but absolutely refused to enter the room and help with a small group of children to do an activity.
It is very demoralising.
I gave up when my own child left, having served as secretary, session assistant, first aider and safety officer and DBS check organiser.
And I was working, supporting my own DC and elderly PIL.
OP. just give notice and leave. They don't deserve you.

In my experience, in a similar role, if you appeal for help now, having done a brilliant job for a while, you will only get half hearted offers of help. If you step down, and go to the other group, someone may well step forward (who could have offered before but didn't) and will take over rather than let the group close.

IME people only really help if there is a crisis - they can then use your advice and make sure that they have plenty of volunteers/make helping once a term mandatory, if your child is to be part of the group.

Thank you for all you do. My son's beavers leader was brilliant! He loved it.